Sunday, December 25, 2011

That Pinterest is Bitch enthralling

So I discovered Pinterest about 3 weeks ago. I am totally obsessed. In a way, it's a good thing, because it gives me something to do through the long hours I'm trying to avoid my parents and/or thinking about my jacked up love life.

However, if they find my fail frame some day with fingers on computer keyboard, know it will be because Pinterest literally sucked the life out of me. Not kidding.

Fox News how I loath you

Quite frankly, it has nothing to do with politics and everything to do with the 3:30 - 10:30 full volume in surround sound playing of fox news. Every. single. night. Loudly.

And my dad likes to berate the T.V. a lot. So O'Riley doesn't give people a chance to respond to the questions. Instead of watching something else, Dad just yells at the TV.

Occasionally the TV gets changed to some show that my parents watch. He berates the characters on the show too. It's really a good time.

On another note, yet still on the far right nut job side, on the way home from church today (please note, today is Christmas Day) we pass a mosque being built.

Dad, "I don't have anything against them in particular, but I wouldn't mind if that didn't go up."

Mom, "Yeah, like a gas leak or something that causes the building to explode but doesn't kill anyone."

Holy crap I couldn't make this shit up if I tried.

Tonights fun and games

The phone rings as I am approaching the dinner table. Now, I had been told dinner would be at 5pm. It is now after 6pm. I had planned to meet up with some friends after dinner. So, I race to the phone. I don't answer but I send a text that say just sitting down to dinner.

As I finish typing my mother says, "I'd really appreciate it if you didn't text during the entire meal."

"I'm sorry have I sat at dinner with you YET and texted through the meal?"

"Well, I don't know."

"You don't know if you have seen me sit at a meal and text? Would you prefer I get up from the table and talk on the phone through the meal time or to send a text that says I can't text? Why is it no matter the situation you always jump to the worst conclusion?"

Cue crickets here.

And then suddenly she wants to be complimentary of my hair and my top and whatever else.


Convo with parents"

"Honey will you let me know when you won't be here for dinner?" my mother asks sweetly.

"Sure, I say."


"Hey, I won't be here Thursday evening."

Mom stares at me blankly.

"I'm going out with Randy and Diana."

"Oh, so you're going to be too smashed to come home?"

What the FUCK? Are you kidding me?

"Uh, no. Didn't you ask me to let you know when I wouldn't be here for dinner? What would possess you to say that to me?"
Text Color

"Well, I didn't know."


I come into the kitchen and mom and dad have just finished a fish dinner. I make a sandwich as I loath fish.

Mom says, "I thought you weren't going to be here tonight."

"No, that's tomorrow night. Thursday. And I wrote it on the you asked me to do."

"Oh, I got confused."

Sigh. Yes, I see that.

My parents

So, last Saturday I packed up the stuff I thought I would need for 1 - 6 months (yeah, try packing with no idea of how long you'll be somewhere) and took it to my parent's home. Yes, I am very grateful my parents agreed to put the dog and myself up for a somewhat questionable length of time.

First, I had to start cleaning. I know they are getting along in years, so they can't really see, and my dad has always been a bit of a pig pen, but I am telling you the place was disgusting.

My parents arrived back in town after visiting my aunt and uncle on Monday night.

Then the real fun began.

My father, "She's been cleaning. I can't find the Goddamn jigger." (Said, obviously in a totally disgusted voice.)

"The glass jigger on the counter? I just used it." (Now, my need for a jigger was legit this place and my lovely parents demand alcohol to survive. For my dad, it was purely academic, he wasn't making a drink. He was just pissed the bar area was clean.)

"No, not that one."

"The plastic one?" I asked.

"No, not that one."

"What does it look like?" I asked.

"I can't remember, but it's missing."


Saturday, December 24, 2011

Ten things I hate about you

(slightly modified)

I hate the way you move away

and tell me not to stare.

I hate the fact I miss you;

I hate that seeing you is rare

I hate the fact you fly so much

and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick.

It even makes me rhyme.

I hate it -- I hate the way you're always right;

I hate it when you say bye.

I hate it when you make me laugh;

even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around

and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you --

not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Friday, December 23, 2011

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

We are about to find out about that. I'm feeling pretty confident walking away from the Air Marshall is going to kill me. There just aren't enough pain killers in the world to make this ok. I am a hot mess of tears. Did I do the right thing? Should I have done it differently? Is there any way for him to work through his mess and come back to me? Does he even want to?

And once I am totally homeless how am I going to function? I can barely make myself get up and do anything now when there is absolute need to get stuff done.

I have made the mother of depressing break up songs mix. Pretty much makes me a puddle every time. Yet, I keep playing it.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

"You are invisible"

This is what IGOOGLE is telling me currently. Actually I figured out how to change my status to say that. It reflects both how I am feeling and what I need right now. I guess.

I am at my parent's house. It requires I mostly be invisible because my dad does NOT like any change to his environment or schedule. An extra person in the house is disturbing to say the least. Bad enough I have been making them watch Buddy the wonder dog, but now his youngest and her plethera of crap are here, his head could explode at. any. moment.

Home? haha. I have none. I am almost completely packed up from my place which is good since the movers show up Monday. The "house contract" is sitting on the desk of some "negotiator" for the seller's mortgage company. Said negotiator I believe is on vacation. The seller's real estate agent has scheduled a phone call with said negotiator for Monday. Yes, the day after Christmas. (Insert snort here.)

So, closing in Feb? Not sure I believe it. Slitting wrists by February? Fairly likely.

In other news, breaking up remains hard to do. I, being the chicken shit that I am, chose to do it via voicemail. What can I say. I knew it needed to be done. He's got a hot mess on his plate and I am not helping anything and the control it was requiring to not flip out on him was becoming overwhelming. So, I did it. Haven't heard from him since. Makes me think I did the right thing. Also makes me want to weep like a baby.

All of this to say, I'm slightly crazed at the moment. I have a shit ton to do, but no desire to do any of it. I want to sit down and just drink myself silly for days but that pretty much guarantees I'll just cry for days which is no good for anyone.

I think I'm developing an allergy to hydrocodone which REALLY makes me want to weep. And in other news, no that pretty much sums it up.

So that invisible thing? Might not be so bad, at least for a little while.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

This is what drugs were made for...

It has been over a month since I last wrote and GOD knows I have shit to write about. But do I write? no. Of course not. I just let my stupid life unwind into mad chaos in front of me. I haven't even been drinking liberally which I fully believe helps.

Am I total lunatic right now? Why, yes, I am. Should I be on some kind of sedative? Totally. Am I? Of course not.

Shall we divy by topics? What the hell.

School ...yeah, that's a hot effin mess. I'll admit the editors have totally brought their A game and they probably will end up getting all of the pages out. Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Clause, and here is your Christmas miracle. It's mildly annoying considering I've been trying to get them to work all semester. I am just tired now. The 13 hour days are killing me.

In the meantime, Lifetouch Photography, those sorry clowns of doom seem determined to screw up at every turn. Literally. It's as if they can't stop themselves. I have a meeting with the one guy I like, but I can't even determine if he's part of the problem or not... it's just a steaming pile of shit.

Home...well, I won't have one very, very soon. Real estate agents are all: closing is on Feb 24 but we are trying for sooner...I talked to a guy who JUST closed his house on a short sale SIX MONTHS after he had a contract. Makes me hyperventilate to think about it. So, I am out of here in 2 weeks, and, well, not actually "in" anywhere.

I know I have the world's greatest parent's that they are not only taking my sorry ass in but that of my oh, so very loveable but terribly behaved 50 lbs of love dog. I also know living with them could make me a little more insane.

At any rate, I may or may not have a home at some point. In the meantime packing is going to be the very death of me. I have SO much stuff. I have got to watch more Hoarders and throw shit out!!!

The man..well, that is just a hot mess of God knows what. I don't even know what to say. I'm insanely crazy about him. He is amazing...but the long distance and all of the other stuff...let's just say there are a lot of roadblocks and potholes and the path isn't easy. As much as I want it to work, I know better than to think the odds are in our favor. They are most definitely stacked against us.

Hence, I sit here on a Sunday night drinking the surprise vodka I found in the back of the fridge (Yea ME!!) Pretty sure there are some foul little grammar errors here (sorry, it's the vodka ; ) Eating pizza because I packed all of my silver ware etc. That's right eating pizza...YES, my stomach does hurt as the food rips its way through my intestines. Nothing but a good time here.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Live from my Iphone

Due to my limited contributions lately, I thought I'd test the phone updates. I have lots to say. But a total lack of organization to get to the saying.

Flowers. They make me happy. See? So much to say.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

So quickly

Sometimes I am impressed with how very quickly I can move from to Emotional def con 1. This has been a hell of a week. Unbelievably busy coming on the heels of weeks and weeks of unbelievably busy. I am working with a yearbook staff that seems to be having so. much. trouble. getting itself together.

I am at my wits end of how to get them to get their acts together. I feel like a complete failure.

I am trying to work on my finances. That is a beating and a half. I don't even know how I jacked up my finances so much. It is totally demoralizing.

We can't even talk about the dating. That is such a ball of bullshit I don't even know what to do. Incapable of walking away, but not happy staying. Emotional. DefCon. 1.

Yup that's me.

Monday, October 3, 2011

You can't imagine.

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I am currently getting my ass kicked by life. I'm not even sure I can list everything I have on my plate at the moment. The regular job, the directories, the real estate book, the online course on sexual harassment that I haven't even gotten to because I have no time, entering grades and dealing with subsequent unhappy parents etc, etc, etc

Yesterday I woke up with a massive headache that stayed with me all day. Ice pack, lavender, pills etc. All day. Miserable.

I got to work at about 6:45, by 7:30 my first student was in my office needing assistance. It went on all day. One person after another. I finally left at 5:30. Ass dragging.

I realized late this afternoon that I have a meeting all day tomorrow which means everything that was on my schedule...yeah, it's all moved back a day.

And I'd like to think hey, at least I have a great guy in my life, but at the moment it isn't really feeling that way. It's hard to imagine where this relationship is going or how it is going to last. Emotionaldefcon1 continues.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

To Start

Quite frankly, all I'm trying to do is get my mojo back. Courtesy of the wackjobs on the peripheral of my life, I've rolled through a couple of blogs lately. And, sadly, totally lost the ability to write. I decided that the most recent blog just didn't convey what I wanted to convey. So, I'm keeping it just to see what I do, but this one, this will be where I get to be me.

The circle of life

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Why the mothers hate me

So we have ad sales for the back of the yearbook for 4 weeks in the spring - 7am -5pm. Then in the fall we do it for 3 more weeks during the school day. Ad sales ended Friday.

Today is Tuesday.
"Hi, I need to know when I can bring in photos to do my ad."
I reply, "I'm sorry. Ad sales ended Friday."
"I know that, but I have cancer and I wasn't able to leave the house."
I reply, "I am so sorry, but we did ad sales last spring for over a month and then the last 3 weeks."
"I've had cancer for two years."
I reply, "I am so sorry but I can put you on the waiting list."
"I would have thought I'd get some special consideration because of my situation."
I reply, "I understand your situation, but everyone who misses the deadline has a reason. I can put you on the wait list."

And if you had dealt with the number of people that have cancer, brain tumors and dead husbands 3 days after the deadline, you'd be heartless too.

Will she write again?

In two months of the new blog, I've posted twice. Pathetic. I used to write almost daily. Sure my dating life provided quite a bit of fodder and there were the antics with selling and buying homes ridiculously often and during the school year the children gave me lots to write about and now, I find I can't write. And it really makes me sad. It makes me sad that uptight jackwads forced me to hide my blog and then crazy stalker wenches made me kill my blog (by the way 9 months later...those crazy lunes still send me emails weekly. That is serious dedication by girls, I swear to you. I DON"T KNOW.)

At any rate, I wish I could get my mojo back. I liked having a diary of sorts. Of being able to look back and see what I've done and where life has taken me. I guess we'll see if I return to it with any regularity.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Episode One

Carrie asks Mr. Big "Have you ever been in love?" "Absafuckinglutely" he responds.

Seems to say it all. There is total greatness in being in love. I'm trying hard to hang on to that feeling. When I'm talking to the old bear or with him, things are great. But he lives too freaking far away and getting together appears to be a lot harder than I wish it were.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

The Little Prince

So you know, I was torn when creating this blog whether I would reference "Le Petit Prince" or Winnie-the-Pooh. Both are quite close to my heart, and I quote from each liberally. I thought it might help/focus my writing a bit, and it would give me a theme.

Visiting the BFF this week, as always we find ourselves watching old episodes of "Sex and the City." That Carrie, I have to admit she is a bit of a muse for me. I have always loved the way they set up her writing revolving questions about life and love and such.

At any rate, since I have found myself dating a bear (story to follow), I decided to become a little bear rather than a diva...especially since I found him by leaving my corner of the forest.

So, I now begin a new adventure with a new blog.

Friday, July 1, 2011

New beginnings

So I had to kill my last blog because of a freaky stalker. I have no idea of whom she is or what she wants, but I know that life's too short to mess with the crazies of the world.

That left me trying to figure out what my next blog incarnation would be like. I have always been a lover of Winnie-the-Pooh, and since I find myself dating a bear of my own, it seemed like the right thing.

So, I shall take from the wisdom of Winnie-the-Pooh as I find myself facing life's challenges and joys. And what better way to start than with the idea that we must go out into the world leaving our own corner of the forest upon occasion.

So, welcome to my corner of the forest.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Rome Day 3

Hell, I don't even know where day 2 went. If you want the blow by blow, go to skips website. This is much more random. Ok, so today we went to the coliseum. However, we have a student that came late because she was sick, so the rest of the group went to the Tivoli Garden's, and I stayed here to greet Maddie. She chose to stay in the hotel and rest, so it has been a relaxing afternoon.

It's a shame I didn't need another nap because it is a rainy day and perfect weather for the nap. Of course, that potentially makes the Tivoli Garden's (a primarily outdoor activity) a good thing to have missed today. I haven't heard yet whether it rained there too. I did manage to find a light sweater to replace my fleece which will allow me to return Kelly's sweater to her.

I'm actually enjoying afternoon tea in the hotel lobby...not the same as an old fashioned English tea, my food consists of "biscuits" I think it is some kind of fruit bread of sorts. It's ok, but it is also making my stomach hurt. Would have gone for a cosmo but he had no cranberry juice. Sigh.

Now that I've had a little tea though, I am feeling slightly sleepy.

The kids have been great. No problems there. We have to get up super early tomorrow to head to Naples and then Sorrento. Hoping we aren't having to walk too far to dinner tonight...

Friday, June 3, 2011

Rome Day 1

I can't get the pictures to do right: so let me just tell you. Travis corrected me when I told him he was an idiot. He is missing the embarrassment gene. He certainly does make the trip fun.

The couple kissing? Really my favorite. They start kissing and the guy grabs his camera and turns it around so that it is facing them and he could take 360 kissing shots. Not kidding. Weirdo

Last night Skip posted on his trip sight and dropped all the pictures in. We had to review the fact that I have a tendancy to take very strange pictures and perhaps the parents don't want to see some ladies' ass hanging out at the pantheon. Maybe.

Yesterday we got to see small children having total meltdowns. The photos don't do any of it justice, so I didn't include them.
For instance, what's up with the bikes this year? It would be group after group riding through the street where we were eating lunch. Best part not seen in the photo? Very large women wearing very tight pants. Such a mistake on so many levels.

Today we go to the Vatican which you might think would slow down the "what were these people thinking" photos. But actually, not so much. And yes, we did go drop coins in the Trevi's to wishes coming true!!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Wow. As far as diaries go

I am not doing very well, now am I? Yikes. Well, obviously back from Africa. It was good. Not sure how a relationship is going to work since they don't even really have internet, but it was an interesting trip and I'm glad I went. My basic summary is that it was hot (about like Texas in the summer, the bathrooms are GODAWFUL, literally I have never walked into so many restrooms and just not known what to do, and the people are incredibly nice. Yup. That sums it up.

The end of school was fine. Not too many complaints, just a little bit of crazy, not too much. We set up and passed out from the small auditorium which was awesome. We had room, they were organized, definitely want to try to do that again!! The yearbook looks amazing, and we got almost all of them passed out, so that is awesome. It was a weird end of school, but that is for a different post.

Buddy is happily staying with his grandparents. Not sure his grandparents are as happy, but what the heck.

I am now on a plane with 28 graduated seniors headed to Italy for two weeks. Other than the fact that I already seemed to have pulled my fleece out of my backpack and left it somewhere in DFW airport, and the plane was totally delayed due to some malfunction, and we are traveling for about 18 hours today, all is well. It should be a great trip, and I am hoping to keep up with the blogging either here or on skips blog. I'll paste the address at some point.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

My suggestion is to cross your legs

Today, I shall write about my bathroom adventures. Trust me when I tell you I am using the term "bathroom" quite loosely. First, the key is to use the restroom in the hotel and then do NOT drink fluids. Tricky, cause it is hotter than the hinges of hell, and sweat runs in rivers down the back. Smell isn't all that great either.

So, after lunch I found myself in need of the facilities. They were out back...yes, very similar to an outhouse. In fact, it was pointed out to me through a window. I asked which door is the girls...and they said either. Turns out left door was for pee, right door for poo... Luckily Andrea had already gone, so she was able to guide me through the process. It looked like a shower, but one stands on the "edge" of the shower and squats to pee. There were pipes that get turned on to flush out the pee. Turns out, unlike Andrea who was able to pee perfectly into a two inch square hole, I can't make pee in a shower stall.

The day progresses. By late afternoon I have to potty again. I'm obviously drinking way too much water because I've pretty much been peeing once day up until now. So, back at the admin building (where I know there is at least a toilet) I've accepted the fact that the toilet paper gets thrown in the trash and that this is the land of squatting, but at least it is a toilet.

I am ready to pull my pants down, but I have sweat so much that I don't actually have to unzip. Suckers just come down. Then I get my Charmin and the stuff sticks to my hands cause I am dripping. In the meantime my skivvies are all sticking to me. It was a total Charlie Foxtrot.

But, I am back at the hotel, freshly showered and thanking the good Lord for American restrooms.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Couldn't forget this

So tonight we FINALLY get the internet. Skype is our friend and calls are made. I'm ready for bed, getting snuggled down when Andrea, on skype, talking to Michelle starts telling of some of our adventures. I really need to video her telling our adventures. It brought tears to my eyes to hear them aloud.

The next time anything good happens, I'm making her tell the story and then I'll just upload it.

Life in Ghana

We have had NO internet at the hotel which totally annoys me. We are supposed to have wireless, but it isn’t working, so Edna said something to them today, and they have gone to purchase a modem for us to use. In the meantime, I have the phone international calling, text messaging and data plan, but ATT seems to be terribly confused because out of about 10 calls to them among us, about half the calls said yes, this works in Ghana and the other half say no it doesn’t. So, I could end up with a totally outrageous bill. No telling.

This is a dirty country. I mean this in several ways. Literally there is dirt everywhere. And it is that red dirt. Flies in the air, and gets on everything. They also just throw trash down. So, there is trash everywhere too. Andrea noticed, that the floors everywhere are usually tile and very clean. I guess that’s the only portion they have control over, so they want to keep things clean, but dust is everywhere.

People dress really nicely. It is weird. I mean men in suits, women in really cute clothes. They don’t even have closets near as I can tell, where do they keep the clothes? I’m taking a ton of pictures, but it is impressive. We’ve been told “traditional clothing” is being made for us to wear on Wednesday, as the photos show, their traditional garb is “bootilicious” so I’m not all that thrilled to find out how tight the clothes are going to be.

In the new hospital we were walking along and I looked up at the ceiling tiles. Bright white. All with finger prints all over them. It made me laugh. Obviously their hands were dirty when they were placed…well, either that or weird shit was going down on the ceiling.

I can’t imagine driving here. There seem to be some general rules of the road and what the strategy is for driving, but it is mad chaos. There would be pavement occasionally but then it would be dirt roads. Then there would be random bumps on the road which forces everyone to slam on their breaks to hit the bumps and then pick up speed again.

I have been so careful about what I eat that I have had no problems food wise, Thank you Jesus!

The people are beautiful. Such dark, clear skin and just handsome people. No fat people either. Occasionally a large woman but nothing like Americans, and mostly very lean.


We slept till 9. It was beautiful. We went down to the hotel restaurant and got breakfast. They serve contintental , but not like European which is good. So we had fried eggs and bread. So yummy.

Manfred and Andrews came by at about 12:00 and brought CD’s (Ghana money). We had to count the money (no, I was not involved, yes, I am perfectly aware that I should never be in charge3 of counting.) It was a little bit of a comedy of errors, but we finally got it all figured out. I’m now loaded Ghana style ; ) And we talked some more about meeting the chief and what our day at the school would be like. Then we headed to the store to get more safe food for me. And Edna forgot her toothbrush. Don’t ask me what she’s been doing in the meantime in that area.

Today is a national holiday. So lots of places are closed today. The hotel’s pool is open to the public during the day, so music started BLARING from the pool speakers at about 10am. They said the music would play until about 9pm.

It seems every time we turn around, Manfred has someone new meeting us. Today Nancy a head teacher at the primary school came by the hotel.

We then headed out to a grocery store. Yours truly was running out of crackers and we all agreed we didn't want me to have stomach problems in the land of no bathrooms, let alone toilet paper.

Grocery store was an adventure. I'd already bought a ton of baby vodkas, so we got some mixers while there. Trust me, my nerves need the alcohol.

Then back to the hotel, dinner and the long awaited internet drives!! We are deliriously happy to be able to contact our loved ones back home!!


** Have pictures but can't get them to load. Sorry : (

We went to Manfred’s church Sunday morning. There was a wedding and a graduation ceremony. Well, as it turns out the graduates were actually the choir, but what choir wears mortar boards and graduation robes? Come on now, how was I supposed to know? We arrived late, and left early, so we were there for only two hours of what I can only imagine was a ten hour ser v ice. I’m telling you these people could put the Baptists to shame. There were several times that they had some serious dancing going down. It was awesome.

The wedding part was interesting, but even though English is the official language they actually speak something else, so we had no idea of what was being said through most of it.

For lunch we went to Manfred’s childhood home. It is probably middle class for them. OH WOW. Very, very small. Corollary of lesson 3 is drinking water is necessarily because you sweat your ass off, but man, peeing is a problem courtesy of the toilets or lack thereof. Used the restroom there, but no way to flush. Nifty.

It was 700 square feet? Main room , bedroom, small kitchen (more of a counter really) and a bathroom (toilet, tile floor, no shower, just a shower head, so when I went to use the restroom everything was wet. God I hope it was from someone taking a shower.

While at Manfreds I went down and got some pictures of the area. There was an outdoor oven that was shared by everyone? And there was a place to grind corn. We ate the rice, pasta combo that is their mainstay. There was some fish mixed in. The meal set my lips on fire (they like their spices).

After lunch we went to Manfred’s wife’s “compound.” He had told us her family was royalty. So, I guess they are upper class…again. A shock to the system to see how very different things are here.

Our next stop was the post office. Sure, you might think why would you see a post office, but turns out when you live on top of each other mail delivery is a problem, so there are hundreds of PO boxes, and people have to get to them to get their mail.

We met up with Isaac, another guy from the school district and split our happy group up. Admittedly we had 7 people in one car meant for 4. Yes, we looked like clowns in a volkswagon getting out.

Then we went to the palace. It was your basic colonial style home. The English built it to make up for being jerks at some point. Some where along the way we gained more people. I swear we were picking up cars and people as we went.

After that we made a visit to the hospital. Justina, Mandred’s wife worked in the children’s ward. The main hospital is really old, like what we would imagine a pre-war building. No AC, high ceilings, people everywhere. I got a cut on my heel on Saturday (no idea of how) then I wore shoes Sunday that really rubbed it. Glad we went by the hospital because Justina put a bandage on me. : )

We left the main hospital, but one of the girls made a mistake about commenting on the conditions (we are learning there are things that we need to keep to ourselves because they feel an intense need to show us anything we ask about. Not a problem for me because I never ask questions but I’m telling you Andrea and Edna ask a gazillion questions. At any rate, they decided we really needed to see the new high-tech emergency center. It was guarded by some sort of hospital security who were convinced to let us in to see it all. They were going to take us to the zoo next, but thank God Edna caboshed that. So, we finally got back to the hotel at about 5pm. We then had a huge discussion and meeting about the reserve they wanted to take us to today. IT was going to require waking up at 3am driving 3 hours (remember the roads now….) and then driving back. Edna caboshed that too. She was great. We needed to rest. Everything is exhausting. It’s hot, and we still hadn’t gotten great sleep.

We met with Manfred, Andrews, and Manfred’s brother to show them what we had brought and discuss the plan etc. I was beyond hungry at this point. They finally left and we ate at about 7:30pm. Then back to our rooms. We went to bed and slept hard. Our electricity went off at about 9am which woke Andrea and I up (Edna’s in a different room), so we slept for 10 hours. It was awesome.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Accra, Ghana

Ok, I haven't really thought much about it but with 5 days till we go, I guess it is time. I am going to Accra, Ghana Friday with two other teachers from HP. Crazy right? I am without a doubt nervous. Mostly because let's be honest, I'm a bit of a diva and I have all sorts of food issues. What am I gonna eat and how am I going to be nice to all of these people for 10 days??? How??

I am already packed. Although I forgot I have to get everything out and spray it with the bug spray. I have the $1500 of shots, and I start the malaria pills on Thursday. I have ordered 24 baby rolls of charmin to take with me and keep in my purse (come on people, I have a delicate backside, I'm not going anywhere without the charmin) Maybe not all 24 rolls, but I do go to Europe in 3 weeks too...

You would think that my to do list would be getting shorter and shorter, but I am here to tell you that every time I turn around I have to add to it.

So, I'm a little freaked out and stressed out. Very long plane flight followed by a 5 hour car drive to wherever we are going (It's close to Accra, but I'm not exactly sure of where it is.)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

It was an adventure

"Let's go on an adventure," said Christopher Robin.

"What shall we do," asked Pooh.

"We should go to Topeka, Kansas," replied Christopher Robin.

After a moment of thought Pooh said, "OK" because, after all, who doesn't like an adventure?

the last time I took editors to the Jostens Printing Plant in Topeka, Kansas, it was 2009. There was heavy snowfall (although it had been quite warm in Dallas when we boarded the plane.) We arrived at the Kansas City airport, got our luggage and then opened suitcases and started piling on clothes.

I have no idea of why I thought this trip would be less of an adventure.

Our flight was scheduled for 1:20pm on Southwest airlines on Sunday.

As it turns out, Southwest had hit the news cycle on Friday for problems. Sunday morning our yearbook rep (who was accompanying us on this jaunt) received an email from Southwest declaring our flight canceled.

I headed to the airport to try to determine options (canceling almost 50 flights seriously increases phone hold time when calling.)

I had my 6 2012 senior staffers with me as we tried to find another flight...another airport...anything. There was nothing on any airline.

But me? I'm no quitter. So, we kept trying to find new ways out there. In the end? Well, I got a hold of "Buses by Bill" And Bill? He's a miracle worker. By 5pm we were boarding a full size "executive coach" headed to Topeka...

Only 7 of us at this point because one of the moms was worried about the long bus trip, and it WAS a long, long bus trip. We arrived at the hotel by 1:30am The front desk clerk almost had a heart attack thinking a bus full of people was arriving, but no just us 7.

We got up, ate and were at the plant by 9am. It was a great day. They learned a lot, got some ideas, saw how the book is actually put together. They spent time learning more about the computer program and what it can do.

Back on the bus by 3pm and headed home, mission accomplished!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Sex and the City

I’m on my girls’ vaca/spring break with my BFF. For the uninitiated, this involves a lot of sitting around, a little bit of errand running, daily child drop off/pick up and lots of hanging out. The hanging out part…the BEST. We spend a lot of time talking as we go about our days no matter what, but this way we are actually together doing nothing. The cosmo cafe in the afternoon in her kitchen is utterly delightful as well.

For us, part of the joy…well that would be our Sex and the City marathons. Oh, how we love that show and the girls. Sadly, it reflects far more of my life than it does the BFF's. I have always loved Miss Carrie Bradshaw. In fact, frequently I have tried to channel Miss Bradshaw as I wrote my blog. I haven't always been successful. And sure, I am not a big city girl, shockingly beautiful or dating lots of men, but still. I think big thoughts ; )

I find that I am contemplating Carrie Bradshaw’s life, my own life and lessons I’ve learned dating.

First and foremost, I take pride in saying, I am crazy as any girl a guy is likely to date, but God help me, he will never know it. My crazy I keep on the inside…well and in many long tortured conversations with the BFF and other close confidantes. But the men, they don't get to know that.

An ancillary point to this is that all men expect every woman they date to be crazy. I have heard enough stories to know this is actually a reasonable expectation. I hate to admit it, but it is true. Women have a tendency to behave badly in relationships. I hate that. I wish it were different. I wish, in general, there were more best friends out there helping girls to not be quite so crazy.

Next, don't pick up the phone. Don't call, don't text, don't email. When I was a young lass, I can remember my mother telling me I was never to call a boy. Didn’t matter if it was to get homework or to ask a question or what…no calling the boys. Years later, this is one of those lessons that I must admit, mother knew best. If a guy wants to talk to you…he’ll call. Otherwise, you are really just bugging him. It is really hard to do at times, but just such a good idea: don't call 'em. They will call you. If they aren't calling you, well, that is information. May not be the information you want to be getting, but it still information.

This next lesson, girls have a terrible time with this lesson, I think it hangs nicely off the last one. There is no such thing as closure. We so hate for relationships to end. We want them to be finished neatly and put away. I have a friend of mine who said he got a call from the woman he was dating. She invited him over for dinner, and to tell him that she was dating someone else. He was to say the least perplexed. Why did she think that conversation required a meal? A call would have been fine, in fact, she probably didn’t need to call, she could have just waited until he called her the next time. At any rate, I can’t tell you how many girls I know that call guys because they want to know WHY the relationship ended and WHAT happened. I have bad news girls, they are never going to be fully honest, and you will never feel satisfied. Just walk away and know that it is over. That actually IS your closure.

Lesson five, my friend PR is always reminding me is to protect my heart. If I am going to step out and take a real chance with someone, I should try to be sure that he is stepping out too. It is quite awful to find yourself out on the plank as it were, alone. Looking around trying to figure out how you ended up there ...alone.

I may have to add to this post later...I know I've learned more, but these are the ones most on my mind.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

I love Miss Britt

I love Miss Britt. She is a badass. She is on a journey. She and her husband have decided to sell their belongings and hit the open road with their kids for a year. In the process, she is discovering what stuff is and isn't. What things in life are important and what things ...aren't.

Right now, she is my goal. I am on a mission. I am getting rid of things. I have too much stuff. I don't need this much stuff.

I'm pretty certain I'm freaking my parents out, but how can I watch as many real estate shows and hoarder shows as I do and NOT find myself wanting to reduce inventory. I am going to spend the next 3 months figuring out just what possessions mean the most to me and that I actually use, and then I am getting rid of the rest. Craig's I come!

A funny thing happened on the way...

I went up to the parentals Sunday evening. Sabrina and Cat were cremated, but they were waiting to be buried under new rose bushes. It's just a thing we do. I'm pretty certain when it is finally time to sell my parents house we are going to have to include a "don't dig under the rose bushes" disclaimer.

Dad started the holes, I finished them, and mom lit the candles that we placed on their wee graves. Then we drank to lives well lived.

Monday morning, well, Monday morning I rolled out of bed, pretty sure I did not brush my hair and threw clothes on. Absolutely no make-up. It was chilly so I added my favorite blue fleece. Very old, very full of dog fur. SEXY.

On the way to the airport I had a vague memory that I had a first class ticket. I was traveling on miles, and there weren't any cheap seats available, so I figured how better to start my holiday than in first class. So, as all this came back to me, I thought to myself, I have anecdotal evidence that God has a sense of humor, I am totally going to end up next to someone cute. Yeah, you know what's coming.

As I walked towards my seat (row 5 seat A, thank you very much), and saw my seat companion, I once again kicked myself for looking like shit. I mean, really. Of course he was going to be totally hot. Dark hair, dark eyes, just HOT.

We spent the next two hours talking. It was really, really nice. By the end, it was obvious there was a connection, but how much of one and would we really do anything about it? He wanted me to go out that night, but it seemed wrong to immediately abandon my BFF, so I told him I couldn't. BUT he was only in town for the night and headed back to his home town of Orlando. What? This will never work. I am going to meet a guy on a plane and he isn't even going to be from Dallas? So, so wrong.

He gave me his info, I gave him mine, he walked me to the baggage carousel, (where I was picking up my new Europe luggage. HUGE. LEOPARD SKIN. HARD BACK. That should have scared him.) Then we stood on the curb and waited for the BFF.

She showed up. Waved, yelled, called. I was ...distracted. She finally got my attention, and I was off. A few more text messages, some talk with the BFF, next thing I knew, I had borrowed clothes and made plans to meet with Mr. Airplane. The good news is that I swear I looked so bad on the plane, it wasn't difficult to improve on that look. The better news is that he is very good for my ego. (On a side note, I still need to write about St. Patrick's Day fun on Greenville Ave. This very topic came up. I want someone who will be as crazy for me as I am for him. There is a lot to be said for someone being crazy for you.)

O.M.G. That's all I got. Fantastic conversation, very interesting, charming and a possible keeper? I know this is not the first time I have thought a guy had great potential. But Mr. Airplane is rocking it right now, and he is just fantastic looking AND he likes me. Hang on, I have to go fan myself off for a minute.
OK, I'm back. No details for now. We had a lovely date last night. BFF picked me up at the Metro and now I am back to my little vacation. All I shall say about my interlude, is perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Now I'm bulletproof

Have I mentioned I am going to Africa? Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the forum...

I work at a fairly (read this as very) affluent school district. We invite "gurus" of the industry to come speak to our staff and to work with us as we improve what we do. Turns out one of these gurus said that a problem with American students is that they have no empathy for the rest of the world. Go figure.

In an effort to build relationships and forge bonds with our brethren around the world, a position was created within the district, let's call it "global guru." So, GG starts working on finding places via the internet also interested in forging relationships. Lo and behold, if a district in Ghana didn't say, Helllloooo there.

Long story short, yours truly is on the short list of 3 people going, GG, a middle school teacher and yours truly.

Yesterday, MST and I go to get a yellow fever shot which we know we must have to be able to go to Africa. We had been told we had to pay for our own shots, but we figured what the heck.

The very nice lady at the "so you want to leave the country, here's what you have to do to stay alive" office went through a very long list of diseases we could get etc. Disturbing to say the least. Yellow fever, my ass.

In addition, it seems that rabid animals are a bit of a problem too, but there is nothing you can do about that. The instructions? "If you are scratched or bitten BY ANY ANIMAL, you should EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY." Sweet Christmas, great. fantastic. can't wait.

She then goes through exactly how much it would cost and how many shots would be required. Let me tell you, had I known in advance, not sure that there would be a plane ticket with my name on it... Not. Kidding.

I left the office and immediately went to get a drink because my ARM REALLY HURT.

Then I concocted the note I was going to write to the superintendent in my head (and the principal and the head of curriculum and my friend PR because, well, that's the kind of girl I am). Which I did. See below.

To whom it may concern,

Yesterday I went to Passport Health in preparation for the trip to Africa. I was expecting one lone yellow fever shot. I received EIGHT shots inoculating me against every major disease on the planet. I return in a month for TWO more. The total cost...wait for it...$1150.

That being said, I would like to officially offer myself up for any and all trips to scary places that require shots. Because I have my shots, and they were expensive, and the only way to get my money's worth is to go EVERYWHERE.

So, with total dedication and a lot of pain in both arms right now, I say, I'm ready to serve.

Your devoted employee,
The Diva

I haven't heard back from anyone. What's up with that? At any rate, as the BFF said, with all those shots in me, I am practically bulletproof! Hence, my desire to travel the world while I am fully immune to all diseases. Except for rabies. Which is unfortunate because I am a tasty morsel to the dog population of the world. Other than that, I am bulletproof. Oh, and the flu. I hate flu shots, so I don't ever get those. I could get the flu still. Other than that, I am bulletproof. Well, and the common cold. There's no defense against that, and let's be honest, I work with wealthy kids, but they still get sick, a lot if you ask me. Aw screw it, I am only bullet proof against the following illnesses: yellow fever, polio, mumps, measles, rubela?, typhoid, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Malaria, Dengue and cholera.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Happy Birthday!!

Tuesday was my BIRTHDAY. I love my birthday. I don't care if I am feeling older and more blind and deaf. I have taken a page from my father's book. He is always happy about his birthday. He says it is because he'd seen his life flash before his eyes so many times by the time he was 22, that each birthday after that is pretty much a miracle.

Anyone who has been in a car with me knows I could say the same thing. Let's face it, there's a lot going on out there and it is all interesting. Staying focused on just one thing is tricky.

So, I am happy about my birthday. In addition, my students rock because they always get together to get me a pair of shoes. This year's? Beautiful...

Oh, and those amazing flowers in the background? From my BFF.

It was a good day. Yes, it helps that I wear a tiara on my head all day. I think it reminds people to not mess with me, and quite frankly, it is difficult to not smile while wearing a tiara.

I guess I am teaching something

During the snow storm, I discovered that I had trolls. Sounds like some sort of disease, I know. I was talking with my big sister about her blogs (actually she has two blogs, but only one was under attack so to speak.) She had trolls. Someone had come to her site and started going back through the posts writing basically mean stuff. My sister is a researcher at heart. So, she began trying to figure out from where the trolls came. Lo and behold, they came from the last blog post on my old blog that said "Gone."

Four women (I swear they might have made up names) posted. ALL posted mean stuff about me. In fact, one had started her own blog and the only post was a picture of me saying how I tried to steal her husband away...Yeah, cause in addition to every OTHER reason that would never happen, some time during the crapfest 2010 of Sabrina's life, I was out looking for a MAN. sigh.

At any rate, I deleted my one post. My sister then did a post on "Trolls." It was awesome. Part of the awesomeness was due to the fact that the troll is really an idiot. Sis's blog is clearly about developing self awareness and thinking about how she has messed up parenting in the past, and she's learning from it. Perhaps she uses too many big words cause it is obvious the troll, she didn't understand a bit.

Under comments, my sister had given me a shout out because some newspaper had done a poll, and I was runner-up for best teacher in the district. Sure it is a really small district, and sure, I was runner-up to a 1st year 4th grade teacher at one of 5 elementary schools in the district, and yes, it is very likely only 5 people voted. But it was sweet of my sister. The troll wrote a mean comment to the effect, I shouldn't be allowed to teach. That is A LOT of venom to have inside.

A week ago, one of the women sent me a facebook message "Hi." That's it. Nothing else. I ignored it, but it seems like a lot of energy to put into someone when I don't recognize ANY of their names or anything. Who are they???? I was starting to feel a little down. But THEN, one of my editors-in-chief let me see her college essay. It made me cry. She let me attach it. (Mostly because she knows only 5 people read the blog. Hooray for censorship and fear of the machine.) Any way - here you go.

An Unforgettable Character

Perkins: Like you’re mom but worse. She stands 5’4” in her pink sparkly designer Christian Louboutin stiletto heels—a gift from our journalism class last year as a token of our appreciation. Everything about her is asymmetrical; it is no surprise when she stands with her left hand extended, her right hip cocked, with a semi-fisted hand saying, “This is Perkins,” circling that fist with her right hand through at least three revolutions, she continues, “and this is the world…!” All the things my mom tried to teach me are acted out on the journalism stage every day of high school. The starring role is played by Ms. Elizabeth Perkins, my journalism advisor.

Lesson #1: Dress to impress. “Don’t dress like you are going to work on a street corner.” When dealing with inappropriate dress choices, most teachers avoid confrontation by passing the student on to the administration. Not Perkins. She deals directly with each of us, and we are quick to learn what is and is not appropriate attire for school. Because of Perkins, I am increasingly aware of the small range of appropriate clothing in dress—especially when I am relating to teachers or students as yearbook editor-in-chief. She takes her position seriously and demonstrates her self-respect with a flair for fashion by playing the “Diva” role with confidence and aplomb.

Lesson #2: “Do as I say, not as I do.” Perkins never sets herself up as a perfect example—quite the opposite. She always admits when she is at fault and actually wants us to do a better job in respecting authority. Last week, during the school mandatory lockdown drill, Perkins opted to send students out to take pictures of the event. Once again yearbook “is more important than pseudo student safety.” Unfortunately our school resource officer did not agree. He captured Perkins and Company and officiated at our in-class criminal lockdown lasting three days. By letting us in on her escapades, we become comrades in crime with a worthy cause of surviving the school day and publishing our annual yearbook, The Highlander.

Lesson #3: Be good humans. “If there is one thing I want to teach you in this class, it’s how to be good humans.” Last month we had an incident with stolen money from the yearbook fund. Perkins appealed to our sense of humanity and justice by asking for our help. Because she believed and trusted in us, we were successful to use our student web of contacts to find the thief. As she teaches us to be good humans, she models it by standing up for the staff. Recently, an anonymous group of girls created a Twitter account to slander several of us on the staff. Not only was she determined to find these “mean girls”, she was “out for blood.” Her lasting advice about our emerging humanity always mentions the necessity to, “bring each other up with your words, not tear each other down.”

Whether Perkins is delivering a light message on fashion, or a serious message on what it means to be human, the thing that I’m going to remember forever is the delivery itself. She preaches her message with the humorous characterization of a Diva mixed with the high drama of a philosopher. Her obvious lessons are represented by the quotations above, but it is the subliminal undercurrents that I will take with me to college. I want to define my own character by taking risks for the people I lead; laugh not only at others but myself; and most importantly, create a character for my life story who makes people want to be better. Underneath all the bravado, Perkins lets herself be vulnerable so that her students rise up and help her. Her leadership style allows us to feel valuable and needed as we develop mutual empathy. Whether it’s dealing with my college roommate, my professors, or future boyfriends, I know on some level, I will be modeling Perkins, or as she is otherwise known, “The Dallas Diva.”

Friday, February 4, 2011

Day 4: Snow day

Totally edgy. I mean 4 snow days later of not leaving the house, I am ready to get out. Instead I've been watching HGTV, "Flip This House" and the "Nate Burkus Show." I am so itchy to buy a new place, fix it up and sell it, I can hardly stand it. I don't know if I can stand it. I've got a little less than two years before I need to buy a house again to prevent a tax nightmare, and I'm going to need every minute of it to pay down the old credit cards. I guess I can at least say I refigured out my finances this week. I can really bust out the bills if I can keep my spending under control. I think we all know that is a really big IF.

However, if I can stay focused, I'll be able to rock it. And then I can return to the flipping business. Remind me of this the next time I have my eye on a cute pair of shoes...I need to remember this is going to be a marathon not a sprint. Long term low spending people. LONG TERM.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Snow Day #3

It's hard to remember back to Monday at this point and know I was practically on bended knee PRAYING for a snow day. Just one Lord, just give me one day. And, I say again, things like this are how I know that God has a sense of humor. Because he didn't give me ONE snow day, but three. I'll admit, Tuesday was delightful. My car was snug in the garage, which was fine except that the gate out of the property was broken, so in the event of an emergency, I would have been walking. Buddy and I snuggled all day. I had food, hot chocolate and Baileys. I knew my original plan involved getting stuff done, but what the heck, it was a snow day.

Wednesday I went ahead and got a couple of things done, but mostly hung out. Towards the end of the day, I was starting to get a little bored. Feeling a little trapped. I knew by 5pm that school was cancelled for the next day, and I admit I was a little worried. No food. No Baileys. No exit. No good could come from this.

Thursday. Called the landlord immediately about the gate. Love them. They called back immediately they were sending someone. So bored, I decided to do laundry. That was a mistake as it turns out because I went out to the garage aaaannnndddd it was totally flooded. Oopsy. So, I got to spend a good portion of the morning moving stuff around in the garage and trying to sweep up the water. I now have blankets and towels all over the kitchen, none of which can be washed just yet, the garage is a total mess, so my car won't be going back in any time soon.

I realized as I was cleaning that I was feeling mighty crampy because nothing goes with a bad day like having cramps.

Good news: the gate did get fixed and Buddy and I took a little trip. I got crawfish etouffe for lunch and stuff to make "special hot chocolate for mommy" ...for the rest of the day.

By 2pm I had bathed to warm up my body, eaten lunch, and re-situated my happy butt on the big comfy chair with Buddy.

Dare I confess that I am ready to go back to school. It will be INSANE tomorrow, but one more day here, and I'll be insane.
P.S. saw Reds last night (Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren, John Malcovich, Mary Louise Parker) very cute. Glad I saw it. You should see it.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Senior Wall 2011

Some of you might remember that two years ago, my seniors did their portion of the senior wall by quoting me.

This year they decided to quote me again. I have to's totally true.

Unbearable Sadness of Being

Sabrina and I went to see Dr. Murray Tuesday. Technically it was her annual. Dr. Murray said she had been researching options, and all she had seen was stem stell research in California. Yeah, not really an option. We discussed her infections (that would probably only get worse), the constant fight between too firm poo and diarrhea poo. We talked about how she really hated it when I expressed her bladder and that she dripped pee all day every day.

So, Sabrina stood between us, happy and bouncy, and I knew that she really isn't going to get better. And I knew it was just going to get harder and harder for me. So, we decided to just do it. She was a beautiful, happy, loving dog. I hated holding the power of life or death over another creature. I desperately wanted her to live and get better, and I am desperately sad that she is gone.

My students are unbelievably sweet. I've gotten lots of hugs, a coffee cake, flowers and a slurpee.

I'm going to make a video montage, but in the meantime here is a clip from one of her last days. It seems really, really wrong doesn't it?

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Well, my goodness

Sometimes, life is just plain weird. This is such a weird little story, but I can't bear to not make a record of it.

1. So, some stranger comments on my sisters blog. Then comments again, again and again. Then comments and says my sister likes to interfere in other people's business the way HER sister does. Well, that is either Monica or me and since Monica can barely work her phone and doesn't blog, we're pretty sure the reference is to me. So, I guess HP mom. Typical. Honestly, what does someone gain by going onto the blog of a stranger and making snide comments? Really?

2. I'm rooting around blogger and I hit my final blog post on the old blog. There are 5 comments. ALL HATEFUL. But strange because they are saying mean things about me, but not really saying anything specific. Except one said that I had a crappy house on some street I've never heard of. AND I don't recognize any of their names, and when I try to look up any info to figure out who their kids are...there is NOTHING that correlates. (Twilight Zone music plays here.)

3. I click on one of the commenter's name and up pops 2 posts on her own blog. 2 exactly TWO. One of which is titled my name and picture... and she says I was trying to steal her husband, huh? If I may say so, it is a great picture of me (from my old blog) and it says I'm an old hag almost 50 with bad hair. Really? Like that IS my good feature. Who is she kidding? And 40 is NOT the new 50.

4. I get a little flustered cause let's admit that is just weird. So I decide it is time to delete the old blog. What do I do? Delete the new blog. Auuuuggghhhh

5. At least an hour of flittering about on the internet trying to get the blog back AND trying not to ball like a baby because I have lost my blog. It's not the worst thing ever because I saved it all in October when I transferred it, but A LOT has happened between October and now. This is my diary for crying out loud. It was going to suck to have lost 3 months of my life because I'm Annie quick draw with the delete finger.

6. I manage to find the "listing" of all my blogs (I appear to do a lot of deleting and starting) it asked me if I wanted to undelete - and bam it came back. Turns out Blogger knows we, the general population, aren't too swift and it gives us 90 days to regret a delete action. Hoorah for Blogger.

7. So part of their ranting was that I shouldn't be Diva because that is a singer and who am I to think I am a Diva. Now, since I originally did it tongue in cheek because no Diva would be as steeped in Shit as I currently am I've decided to keep the Diva although I was thinking I might change the name of the blog just because maybe it is time for a change. . . can't decide. If I change I'll probably go with Lessons from the front because I would like to think I am learning lessons as I go, but who knows.

Monday, January 10, 2011


I just undeleted the blog!

OK, so first I lost it because, well, I'm an idiot, and then I got it back.

Happy New Year, Dammit

Ten days in, and so far, to be honest. Not that great of a year. I've backed my car into a post, euthanized a pet and, in general, haven't done another freaking thing, except clean up after the dogs. Yup. That's it so far.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Hemorrhaging Cash

To Hemorrhage: to undergo a rapid and sudden loss. Yep. That is the word.

I take Cat to the vet today. He is so shockingly skinny, I'm not sure of how he can move around. He eats (a tiny little bit), he sits (looks happy?), but he doesn't really have his Cat spunk. He's basically starving himself to death. But he looks ok if you just look at him. And yet, we are going to the vet today to end his life. I don't want him to suffer, and I don't think he is healthy or happy. The vet agrees. Doesn't make it any easier. It sucks.

In the meantime, Sabrina goes to the vet Tuesday for a check-in. They all of the blood work etc over the holidays when the "tamale" incident occurred. I made the mistake of looking at my credit card bill yesterday. It looked like I'd spent about $1,000 at the vet alone in December. So, I sat down and actually tried to add up how much I've spent since August. It's not pretty. Especially since I didn't even add in all of the chicken, rice, pumpkin and dried cranberries I've bought. You might not think it adds up to
a lot being groceries and all, but if you look at the pumpkin alone...2 cans a day for two months at $1 a can... Yeah, it really does add up. I didn't add in the mattress pads, wet wipes, tissues and other general cleaning supplies.
Is she getting better? Well, she is way better than she was in August when the specialty vet let me take her home without her being able to stand on her own. She can walk two miles now. She still doesn't have control of her bowels or her bladder. And she has constant bladder infections. I am crazy about this dog. She is beautiful and loving and happy and I desperately want her to get better, but I just don't know if she is or if I can afford to keep trying. How Godawful is that? I don't have the money to take care of her. Ironically, looking at my bank statements and credit card, after today's visit to take care of Cat, I don't actually have the money to do anything else either. I am so unbearably sad.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

And this is what I choose to do

I have a ridiculous amount of stuff to get done. Two outside projects, all the stuff for my two beginning classes, and oh, yeah, there's a little thing called the yearbook that is switching into high gear right now. What am I doing? Blogging. Cause that's the kind of girl I am.

This should be a quick one. Requests have been made to understand why I now call my residence, "Home of the anti-social." Although I didn't realize it when I first saw it, clearly, this place is designed for people uninterested in having visitors. There are three townhomes facing sideways from the street. I am in the one closest to the street. Looking out my front door I have a little garden area. Currently it is a weedfest. By spring, I will have to take pictures because once I get it fixed up, it will be awesome to open my front door and see.

Now, if I look out my front door and to the left I can see the gate. Please note, there is no call box or way to contact any of the residence; other than yelling which would be fairly unsuccessful if I were to guess. I added my glider and patio chairs and table. The mailboxes are on the outside of the gate. I failed to think about the fact that as a girl who loves online purchases, it is a problem when fed ex has no way to enter and leave stuff at my door. Luckily, I've met the mailman and gotten him a key, so at least he can leave me stuff.

If I look to the right, it is all drive way to the back gate. The backgate also lacks a call box of any sort. So, you can show up, but you won't be entering without permission. It's interesting that the other two residence park on the driveway not in their garages, but both of their garages are clean. Mine is chock full of stuff but I am desperately trying to get to the point that I can park inside. I've let the dogs outside once or twice so that they can stretch their legs. Let me tell you, they STRETCH their legs. Run like mad things.

OK. And that is where I live.

Monday, January 3, 2011

New Year's Resolution

I had to really go back and search to find where I had written my new year resolutions. I mean I was really ahead of the game, and then, I really fell behind.

**2011 the year of mind, body, environment. 20 minutes a day, for my mind, my body and my environment.
  • So, mind - I think will be morning. I'll read my devotional or write meditatively on the blog or both. (Who am I kidding. I am not doing anything that requires brain power in the morning. Let's put this in evening.)
  • body - beyond walking the dogs, I will drop them off and then run for twenty minutes minimum. I HAVE to burn calories. (Hmmm, ok, for now, let's just say I am going to get back to walking the dogs every day. I have downloaded Loseit and Imapmyfitness on the iphone. Perhaps between the two I can do a better job of keeping up with what I eat and if I am really exercising with a little help.)
  • Environment - I will spend 20 minutes a day keeping up with the house/yard, make the bed, file docs and take care of financials, keeping the place clean, etc. (OK, working on the house is about the only thing I managed to do over the holidays, so I might be able to pull this off. Of course it would all go soooo much easier if I could get Sabrina in better shape. )