No Boobs in School

This is too good not to post immediately. The spring is a fun time in my world. We are finishing up the current yearbook and starting ad sales (parents buy ads to tell their kids they are loved. Total scam, I get it, but we make lots of money and the ads pay for all of our equipment.)

About 15 minutes ago, a mother with her two small children came in to do an ad for her graduating senior. Don't even think how much of her life is being spent chasing children. Yikes. The baby was crying and being annoying. So she pulled out her boob and started breast feeding. The ads manager is 15 and NOW SCARRED FOR LIFE. I don't care if it is natural or part of life or anything else, a 15 year old should not have to see that up close and personal in school.

I guess next year at the ads meeting when I tell parents the do's and don'ts I need to add please don't breast feed in front of the children. Really?????

OK, so my sis who just went on a hospital tour with her expecting daughter said she picked up a card (like a business card of sorts) that said "Thank you for making it okay to breast fed in public. Women shouldn't have to find a private place to nurse." WHAT?? Yes, they should. No, we shouldn't have to see it. What is this world coming to? Find a blanket. Cover up. Don't make us a part of your freaking beautiful moment. Geez.

Draft hag and dog haters

I have a lot of blog post drafts. Things that I start to write about but decide, nah. Or, I wander off, forget to finish and then come back and think, no, not so funny.

Let's see if I can get through this one.

I think I mentioned that there are two girls that live behind me that are not in love with Sabrina and Buddy. They wrote me a couple of notes, I responded immediately. Doghater #2 calls, I call back immediately. I got the electronic dog door back from being fixed and installed it immediately so that the dogs wouldn't be outside all of the time. Set the timer so that they would not be able to go outside until late in the afternoon. Seriously, I know the dogs can be annoying, so I have been trying to do what I can. HOWEVER, when she calls and I'm in the middle of class, I really am limited on what I can do at that moment.

Yesterday she calls me at 1:00pm. Her opening gambit? "Do you know why your dog has been barking through the lunch hour?" No, I don't. I can't remember what she said next, but I did tell her I was in the middle of teaching a class and that I had classes all afternoon, so I couldn't get home until school was out. She said something else nasty to me and got off the phone. I talked it over with Blondie, and she said she could watch my class, one of my editors would lead the class (yes, I was actually teaching) and I raced home.

I'm almost there when I get a call from a guy asking if I had two dogs. "Yeessss"

"I just found them running down Greenville Ave." Coincidence? I think not.

So, I get home, and he helps me get them in the house.

Yes, I went straight to Home Depot and bought a lock for the gate.

Then I went back to school and called her several times...no answer. Finally left a nice message asking her to call me back.

Then I called her boss, and I left a nice message saying it was about her employee Dog Hater #2 and could she call me back. (I figured odds are good, she'll call DogHater#2 and ask who I am. If she did call me back, I was just going to ask when a good time to call was because this is the only number I have and I am hard to reach too, so I was hoping to be able to call at a time when she could pick up, benign, but pointed.)

Then this morning I called Dog Hater #2 again. She answered the phone. (Shocking.) I was extremely nice. I started by asking her if she went over to my house after speaking to me. She didn't say no. She didn't ask me why. She said she left the house right after talking to me. (Anyone else think it is interesting that she was pissed I wasn't going straight home yesterday but she left the house immediately so why did it matter? Or that she didn't ask me why I thought she was at my house...) I told her that I wanted to let her know that I checked the timer, and it wouldn't open until 2 and that I went home right after we spoke because I got someone to watch my class. I also mentioned that when I got home there was someone on the front side of one of the houses next door and Buddy does bark if he hears someone... so perhaps he was barking at someone specifically.

She did mention that one day she was so frustrated she posted on Facebook asking for help. So, I found her facebook post:

Need advice: Lady next door has 2 HUGE dogs that bark all hours of the night, and day. When I called her to ask her to put them away, she copped a HUGE attitude and told me to "get over it". She said "I am sorry you hate my dogs, but there is nothing I can do". They bark at NOTHING..(air, wind, butterflies..etc) HELP!She said, "I am a teacher and have long days...what I am supposed to do?"

Really? They don't bark at all hours of the day and night (They are in by 10pm) I guarantee I didn't say get over it. And I might have said there is nothing I can do right now BECAUSE I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A CLASS.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that I did more Google research. She goes by an alias (literally) because under her real name all you find is an incident when she was a teacher (one year) when she had inappropriate relations with a student. Uh, yeah.

Dating and insanity are a bad mix

I am in an awful funk. First, allow me to say I have been messing around with girl issues for the last two months, and they are wearing me down. Second, I am having terrible sinus pain, I probably have a sinus infection, and sleep is an issue.

I got a new Iphone app which is very cool called Sleep Cycle. Now, the point is that you set the alarm and it wakes you within 30 minutes of the time at the point it is least offensive to your system to hear the alarm. It also has a graphing property that shows when you are in which stage of sleep. Looking at my sleep chart, it is obvious that a. I sleep like crap and b. the dogs wake me in the middle of the night or at the crack of dawn every single night.

So, last night was the first night of return to kennel time. Best part? Since the dogs were in the kennels, Cat decided to make a return to sleeping with me, so he kept jumping on the damn bed and trying to sleep with me.

As you might imagine, these things are making me slightly insane. Dating. Oh, how I hate dating.

Sure, I give myself lots of opportunities to analyze myself and try to figure stuff out.

For instance, I know nothing about the male species. I teach a roomful of girls all day long. My brother was out of the house by about the time I turned 6, and I have two sisters. Boys baffle me. One of my students suggested I get a book For Women Only. I read it. Very interesting. Men are strange creatures. So, then I got For Men Only (I actually feel better that I identified with so much of what was written. I am not crazy, ok, not totally crazy, and I am not alone!)

I have now been up to the lake with Mr. Potential twice. Both times very lovely. Do I feel confident about this relationship? Not at all. Honestly, I am fully prepared to never hear from him again each time we depart each other's company.

Basically, I am filling my time, doing my thing and trying really hard to not think about him or us too much so that I don't flip out and get skitzy. And, I think, wow, it really shouldn't be this way, but I think there is a pretty good chance as long as I am one of the players, it is this way. Know what I mean?

Honestly, I am not sure if I know how, let alone am capable of just relaxing and enjoying myself. Total Nutjob.

I am a pixie I mean something else

There I said it. I am frustrated and my feelings are hurt and when Mr. P finally calls, I'm too much of a pxssy to say anything.

I am totally disgusted with myself. I mean, what is wrong with me? How it is possible? I am a grown woman. I am independent. I have a job. I have self-confidence. I believe in myself. I am woman, hear me effin roar. BUT, BUT I can't manage to say to someone, hey, my feelings were hurt when you did this. How pathetic am I?????

At least I did say that I wasn't going up to the lake tomorrow. Big deal. I'm dying to go, and it means I'm not going to see him one more day, so really I am denying myself, but I didn't want to go by myself. (The vision in my head is that he gives me directions, I get lost, I get pissed, I'm cranky when I get there, he says WTF and we are done, so just best not to go, another weekend perhaps.)

Why is it so difficult? Why is talking to someone so hard? Why is dating so hard? Honestly, I have to tell you that if things don't work with Mr. P, I am not dating anyone else for a while.

At any rate, so I have got to gird my loins, get some courage, and talk to him. I think I need to go take a Tums. Maybe two.