Tuesday, July 29, 2008


so I'm trying to post from my phone as I sit in the airport waiting for my flight to San Francisco. I actually already tried this once, but it didn't work at all. So into the abyss with attempt two

Monday, July 28, 2008

Sex and the City

First of all, I love the TV show. To me, it is a lot like Seinfeld. In many ways it was a show about nothing, but that so many people can identify with it. I love the different personalities of the four girls. I know I see parts of myself in each. Don't you wonder who you might be most like? Take the SATC Quiz and find out . . . I'm 50% Carrie, 20% Charlotte and Samantha and 10% Miranda. Hmmmm

OK, onward, it was a great movie. MB mentioned that we needed kleenex and then we promptly forgot them which was a mistake because we both were crying! Afterwards, the good Major was a sweetheart and let us sit on the trampoline in the backyard, sans children talking about life etc. I'm really glad I waited to see the movie until we could see it together.

I will admit that the relationship of Carrie and Big with its back and forth and highs and lows has reminded me quite a bit of my relationship with JD. So watching the movie did make me sad in parts as I thought about that relationship.

I have to see it again, because I was quite busy with the story and not focused enough on the clothing. One of the first outfits you see Carrie in is the white dress to the left. Would have been fine except for the freaking HUGE flower at her neck. She wears a wedding dress later in the movie with a feather/bird on her head. So very not ok.

I really don't understand why the clothing people decided she had to wear such ridiculous outfits all the time. Couldn't she be hip but not silly? I wonder if it makes Clinton's and Stacy's (What Not to Wear fame) teeth hurt. As always watching those girls makes me want to improve my own style. Oh, and wear my heels more.

I know I have not achieved success in this area, but I think one of the reasons I started blogging is because I have always been so enchanted by Carrie as she wrote and talked through the shows. Busy at her laptop contemplating the world. Of course, she didn't have silly dogs at her feet destroying everything they get their little paws on.

Back in Dallas for Four

So, I got back in town Friday afternoon, got the dogs and tried to get myself focused on working on the real estate book. I got all of the proofing done and the book to the boys this afternoon. While I am in San Francisco, I expect them to be proofing madly.

I'll come back, get their changes, make 'em and mail 'em to the plant.

I got a new phone so that I would have a phone/palm in one unit instead of two things to keep up with. The downside is that I am having trouble working the phone. My ear appears to be especially talented at dialing numbers while I'm on the phone, putting calls on hold (unintentially), and, of course, hanging up on people.

I got the dogs on Friday and they will return to the canine country club tomorrow morning. Cat, in the meantime, has been living large next door at Emily's. In fact, when he hears my voice, he runs. I'm trying to not take it personally.

Saturday when I went over, he ran and hid under the bed. I had to get a picture. I thought it was particularly appropriate that he chose to show me his bum. Em told me that he loved to sit on the fire place mantle. So, she called me so I could get a picture. He looks pretty damn happily ensconced at Emily's. Let's see, eats soft cat food every night, gets his litter box cleaned every day, and no dogs. I'm going to have to drag his furry little ass claws out back to the house.

If I could figure out how to play music, you'd be hearing sexy back playing right now . . . Ain't he handsome!

Bad yards 101

While in OKC, we went to visit a neighborhood behind the base. (There was a house they almost got in an auction.)

Please note the very tall stork? pelican? whatever the hell it is. How much do you think they paid for that? More than $5?

As we made our way to the house, we passed this work of art. It is hard to get across how very horrifying it was and how to get across the number of THINGS in this yard.They even have a stupid wall across the yard. Very strange yard. I think I may try to start collecting for the backyard. The dogs could live in WT heaven.

I also like the dead tree, they didn't cut it down, no, they kept it as part of their yard bananza.

Sunday, July 27, 2008


Well, my little adventure began on a bright Monday morning. Things started getting really exciting a little before noon when I was pulled over with three or four other cars because the police were cheating. They used a plane. That is just wrong. On the plus side, he very kindly made the ticket out for 80 instead of 83 so that it wouldn't go on my record. This is important since some of you may recall I'm still on a little thing called deferred adjudication where I promise to not speed for six months. . . oops.

In the meantime, as always, MB asked me to be sure I had my insurance in the car. Forgot it. So, we had to call my insurance guy and get it faxed to the Majors office so that I could get on the base.

Once I got there it was great. We had a mini movie fest. We went to Wanted with Angelina Jolie (exellenct, a fabulous example of bang bang shoot 'em up done right). Sex and the City (awesome - more later) and Mamma Mia (So very wretchedly bad).

We did, as MB and I do, we chatted, we hung out, we ate, and in between those activities we shuttled children from one place to another. Yup that sums it up.

Poor G had to give up her room for me. About Wednesday she was ready to have her room back. But she was a total trooper and stayed with big brother B the entire time.

Smack in the middle of the back yard is a huge sunflower that the good Major planted. What a fun way to be greeted in the morning. By the end of the week, it was starting to look a little sad. Not sad, like Daisy, aka dead dog. She loves to be outside in the sun. Everytime I'd glance outside I'd have to look twice cause the silly dog really did look dead!

She is a funny girl. Sometimes she just goes to her kennel. The day is too much, she can't bear it, so off she goes. (Sometimes I feel the same way.)

It was a great week. Relaxing and fun. A couple of Target runs, a trip to the mall, Best Buy and AT&T. Oh, and several trips to the Commissary. You can't beat chillin' with your bff.

Before heading out

It was the third week of the month as I prepared to go out of town to visit my BFF, so it was time for the big trash pick-up. I started cutting up bushes I hate. I have freaking berry bushes all over the backyard. I even got Dad to loan me the sharp shooter shovel, but I haven't quite gotten around to using it.

We conveniently have an abandoned house on the street that we all use to leave our trash. I also started pulling out bricks I hate. Please note that what you are see isn't all of the bricks I pulled up. As I worked my way down the path pulling up said bricks, I realized that there is a second layer beneath the first. I find myself incredibly impressed with the previous owner's ability to find so many places for the bricks to go while at the same time being so annoyed I could scream. I still have more bricks to pull, but I guess they will have to wait until the third week of August! On the plus side M and D took a bunch of the last round of bricks, so maybe they will be up for getting some more this round. Then I won't have to wait.

I have to admit after pulling all of the bricks up and walking them out to the front, the next day I could hardly sit on the royal throne without falling the last few inches because my muscles were sooo freaking tired. I really do have to exercise more.

I also managed to get Mom and Dad to help get the bookcase set up and install the stereo etc. It looks soooo much better than having the stereo on the floor. That just seems to scream "my first home" to me. It's like putting everything in the bookcase was all it took to give it a polished look. The picture doesn't make it look polished, but trust me, it is getting there. At any rate, we got it all put together although when DVDs play, you can hear and see the tv station playing in the background. Annoying, but survivable until another day.

I'm pretty sure once I get all of the real estate book stuff out of the closet, I'll be able to find a way to put all of my cd's in the closet which will clear out some space in the room too.

So, when I left for Oklahoma Monday morning, I had gotten lots done. I did end up packing totally at the last minute which meant I forgot the four yearbooks I was supposed to have critiqued. oops. I haven't quite gotten around to that yet either.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Disappointing News

Turns out I am not the next Lottery Millionaire. I am deeply saddened by this.

Yesterday I had a meeting about the student directory (since I'm the assistant student council sponsor next year this is part of my duties). I was mildly annoyed because I don't think the student did everything he should have done to be prepared for the meeting. That meant that we got to sit there and wait as he went through trying to remember problems etc.

In addition, he was going to send me a list of the advertisers that we had problems with their not so "camera ready" ads. He didn't do that. On the plus side, I sent him an email a few minutes ago that said since he didn't send me the list, he would be making the calls. The meeting lasted 3 hours, and I left with a ferocious headache. I basically went to bed at 7pm

Today I got up, went to church and then came home and started working on the backyard. Mom and Dad came over and helped me cut holes in the back of the bookcase and hook the stereo/Dish system back up after situating everything. Fine example of team work.

By the time they left I was fairly certain that my A/C had indeed gone out. So, now I have all 7 of the functioning windows open. Emily loaned me a fan, so the dogs and I shall have 2 fans going in the bedroom. Makes me long for one of the Big Ass Fans Mom's former company made. Oh, and I was on hold for about 20 minutes before I got anyone at the warranty company and, of course, they said someone would call tomorrow to schedule a time to look at the A/C. Did I mention I can't even hold my head in the freezer because that died a couple of days ago?????

So, it is 9:30pm, I'm still doing laundry, haven't packed, have done half of what I need to do to be ready to leave in the morning for Oklahoma, and I feel like my head may explode. OK, it isn't THAT bad, but it isn't great either!

Quick side note, Buddy just realized that a window in the TV room is open. He got his front paws on the window and then moved his head farther and farther out like he wasn't sure of what to do but knew that it was interesting that he could see the ground below. Oh, and both dogs are totally panting.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Texas Lottery

So, yesterday meeting with the boys, DDH started talking about someone who suddenly came into a lot of money. I mentioned my intense desire to win the Texas lottery only stopped by my inability to take my money and spend it on lottery tickets. DDH gave me ten bucks and said if I won I needed to split it with him. RG then gave me ten, then CT gave me ten. So, I took my happy butt down to the local gas station and bought $30.00 worth of tickets. I am very excited, and I just know we are going to win!!

Back in town

I went ahead and got myself to Primacare Wednesday night. Please note: the link is to a virtual tour. You would want to tour the lobby where I spent the most time. I finally got in to an examining room, but then I had to play 50 questions with the nurse before I got to see the doctor. Of course, I'm in my pajamas feel like crap, look like crap, so the doctor was totally cute. sigh. He tested me for strep, but it was negative. I don't know what he decided I had, I got medicine and then I made him give me something for the pain in my throat. Hydrocodone Hoorah! (semi-synthetic opioid derived from two of the naturally occurring opiates, codeine and thebaine.)

So I'm watching the Today show and they are discussing how you should never share perscription drugs, don't drink alcohol while taking medicine, and horror of horrors, you shouldn't self diagnose. Ha. Ha.

Yesterday I met up with my friends HW and KT for lunch and then met the boys at 4pm. We didn't have much to discuss, so they mainly drank and told jokes.

Aaaannnddd, my new Dyson vacuum cleaner came while I was gone. It is called "The animal." It is delightful. Maybe I can get ahead of the curve as I try to keep a fourth pet out of the house in the form of a big honking dust bunny!!

So, it is Friday morning. I feel better, but not fantastic. I still have four yearbooks to critique because, although I've had them for over 2 weeks, I haven't been able to get myself to actually look at them.

Not sure I have it in me to be a whirling dirvish today, but I hope I can at least get something done.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Conversation at dinner Sunday Night

Have I mentioned anything about McKinney H.S.? I've attached the story below so that you can get caught up if you don't know about it. I know the adviser, but that is a whole nother story. At any rate. I am on a journalism listserv. A woman went on the list serve and wondered if she should use LifeTouch Photographer after all that she has read. I waited, but no one responded to her. So, being the sucker that I am, I finally responded. I basically said that there were a lot of things that could and should be set in place to keep that from happening and she shouldn't worry about it. Well, the McKinney adviser got her panties in a total wad and sent a response that was directed specifically at me and fairly bitchy.

The fun of that was that all of these people responded on the listserv saying, "Oh, poor dear, we wouldn't have caught those errors either, blah blah blah. However, a fairly impressive number of people either called or emailed me directly to say "Go Elizabeth!" You wrote what we were all thinking . . . chickens would respond on the listserv though, would they?

So, at dinner Sunday night, as the instructors met before the workshop I find out that the adviser in question is carrying around the email I wrote to that poor woman to show people how mean and hateful I am. What a twit.

Students' photos altered in McKinney yearbook

04:22 PM CDT on Saturday, May 17, 2008
By KARIN SHAW ANDERSON / The Dallas Morning News

Imagine posing for a yearbook photo and ending up with someone else's body – or looking nude – in the final product.

Yearbook photos for 583 McKinney High School students were altered by a national photography company.

The yearbooks were delivered Monday.

Some girls' heads ended up on boys' bodies, and vice versa. Some necks were stretched, and some outfits were altered.

Brielle Anderson was one of several McKinney High students whose yearbook photos had been altered.

McKinney school officials say they are appalled by the changes and called them unethical.

"I cannot even figure out why they did some of the things that they did," said Lori Oglesbee, the school's yearbook adviser.

The problem photos are obvious. One girl's arm is missing. Another girl is missing her clothing – and was left with a blurred chest.

Multiple students have the same body and clothes. Some shirt colors were changed, while patterns and wording on other shirts were wiped out.

At least 34 students had someone else's body.

Officials from Lifetouch National School Studios Inc., the Minnesota-based photography company, said someone at the company made the alterations in an attempt to comply with the school's photo guidelines.

The school wanted student head sizes approximately the same and students' eyes at the same level in the photos.

"Unfortunately, we misinterpreted what those guidelines were," said Sara Thurin Rollin, a spokeswoman for Lifetouch.

"It is not the Lifetouch standard practice to alter images for yearbook publications," the company said.

But McKinney school officials said that they weren't looking for those types of alterations and that it doesn't explain why some of the changes were made.

"There's somewhat of an issue with accepting responsibility," McKinney school spokesman Cody Cunningham said.

About 39 percent of the 1,486 photos were changed.

The vast majority of altered photos were of underclassmen, but several senior photos also appear to have been changed, school officials said.

Sophomore Brielle Anderson said she's pretty sure her head is on a boy's body.

"I paid $80 for a cropped picture of my head on someone else's body," she said.

She noted that she's also missing a few inches of hair.

Chelsey Rephan, a sophomore, said one girl in the yearbook had her clothing digitally rubbed out.

"She looked like she didn't have a shirt on," Chelsey said.

Ms. Oglesbee said that her staff maintains high standards for the award-winning yearbook and that there was no justification for changing the photos.

Lifetouch has agreed to pay to reprint all the yearbooks, Mr. Cunningham said.

Ms. Oglesbee said the yearbook staff would spend the weekend at the school, working to rebuild the yearbook for reprinting.

It will cost the company $85,000 to reprint 1,100 yearbooks, she said.

Meanwhile, the school district wants to know why the photos were altered in the manner they were.

"I think it was somebody who doesn't understand ethics," Ms. Oglesbee said.

The Sun Shines in Denton

Sunday evening I drove up to Denton to attend the dinner and meeting for everyone teaching at the Jostens Summer Workshop. Dinner was at Carino's. It is an Italian restaurant with what can only be referred to as one of the most super yummy drinks ever: Amalfi Strawberry Lemonade. I suggest you get one if you ever find yourself near that place!

I had to drive back home to take care of the hellion and her little companion. I also had to fill up all of my neighbors trashcans since I had way more trash than room for said trash.

Monday morning I got up and took the kids to the Canine Country Club. Doesn't it look nice and fancy? With a swimming hole for the dogs to romp about and try to eat each other's legs. I like that they even have a fire hydrant in the middle of the play yard. Who doesn't like a good fire hydrant to pee on? I ran by school and then headed up to Denton for three days of fun. I was supposed to be "interning" to learn how to teach the Business Manager section. I was "interning" with a lady that was a little "stern" and not all that damn friendly. I have to admit, it's hard to stay excited when you just want to leave the room.

We did get to go to dinner Monday night and Tuesday night too - yummy : )

Most of the advisers stay in the hotel, but I just stay at my friend Cindy's house. What is really fun is that Monday night after dinner we went to another restaurant to listen to a friend of Cindy's daughter play. Kaleigh, her daughter, sang a couple of songs with him too. She is really good!

Cindy let me know that I click my teeth at night. Not a problem for me, per se, but quite annoying for anyone who might be trying to sleep near by. I called Dr. K, my dentist, and I was told to take two advil at night. Didn't click last night, so maybe it will work.

I also had a really bad sore throat when I woke up yesterday and then again this morning. I left the workshop a little early, picked up the dogs and then went to bed. Got up and felt worse. That's crap. I am supposed to go to lunch with my friend PC, but I'm not going to be able to if I am freaking sick. (She's been fighting her own health issues and bringing more illness into the mix is NOT on the approved activities list!)

Oh, and my freezer doesn't appear to be working correctly, so I'm trying to determine if I have lost all of my frozen foods!

So, I am back at home for the next four days before I head off on my next adventure.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Whirling Dirvish

I was a machine yesterday.

First, I got a bee in my bonnet and decided to pull the carpeting up in the bedroom. The floors underneath looks horrifying. I don't know what they did to them, but it had to involve and incredible amount of water. As you can tell from the photo, I got all of the carpeting up except for under the bed and the armoire. I called my trusty friend, RL who came over and helped me get the rest of the carpeting up and then lay down the area rug I got from my neighbor, Emily. It looks fantastic. Now, in between sessions of pulling up the carpeting, I worked on my other project, fixing the flower pots. I think I may have mentioned that when I started cleaning up the back yard and getting rid of all of the underbrush etc I started finding these really heavy cement kind of Grecian looking pots. But since I am on a mission to lay flagstone in the backyard, I thought that these pots really wouldn't look right. So, I bought some spraypaint and went to work. Spray painting as it turns out puts some serious pressure on the old trigger finger, so I had to do that in small bits. They look pretty cool. Now I just need to lay the flagstone.
But that is not all that I have done, oh no, my friend, oh no. As you can see below, the stereo equipment, DVD player and satellite stuff sits on the floor looking messy. So I've been searching for something to put it all in. Target, that fabulous store that I love, had a bookcase for under $200. I had to put it together which was totally annoying. I'll be pleased if it doesn't fall apart. But that is not all. I also did all of my laundry. Well, I washed and dried. I'm actually staring at a big ole pile of clothes that need to be folded, ironed and hung. AND I started working on the back bedroom. Trash, give away, keep. See all those hours of watching Mission Organization has done me some good.

I have filled up my trashcan, Emily's and the one across the street. Trash pick up is tomorrow morning. I figure I'll have to do some guerrilla warfare trash dispensing. I have a stack of trash by my front door ready to go out.

I have to admit I had a terrible time trying to go to sleep last night and within five minutes of laying down I was TOTALLY congested. Grrr.

Let's see what I can accomplish today . . .

Friday, July 11, 2008

Swim suit solution

For those of you curious about what I did regarding the swimming suit issue, look left. I got the tankini with a skirt. It hides the thighs which are, without a doubt, the most scary part of the body (well, besides the numerous scars on the belly).

Price was right, so I went for it.

Why must swimsuit shopping be such a misery? Before I got this one, I bought several others, took them home (I hate trying on suits at the store), and tried them on before returning them to the store. What a pain in the ass. Whole thing is a beating. I think that is what hell is. . . eternally shopping for swimming suits.

Friday in the 'hood

So, RL and I got our make overs. I told the girl that I wanted to look "Natural" and she did great until she hit my eyeliner when natural took a left turn. I tried to take pictures to show you, but alas it looks ok on the camera. At any rate, I don't play poker for a reason. Poor girl saw my look of horror when I saw what she'd done.

RLs looked pretty good. She even bought some stuff. My other friend, KM met us at Neiman's and we all did a short tour through the mall before heading out.

I took a nap in an effort to get rid of my two day headache. 1 1/2 hrs later, nap over, headache still with me.

I spoke with my friend BB yesterday about taking dance lessons tonight (salsa). But I called her at about 5:30 and said I still had the damn headache so ixnay on the dance. BUT then I decided I would go to Massage Envy and see if they could at least help with the knots in my back and maybe help a little with the headache. (Now, as it turns out BB is also a massage therapist, but it seemed really wrong to call and say I could go the the dance lessons, but could she give me a massage.

I must give credit to the poor guy that got stuff working on me. He was no quitter. He worked on the back, hit a gazillion knots, then hit another part of the body, then back to the back. He never did get rid of the knots, but miracle of miracles, he got rid of the headache. On a side note, when I got home the hellion and her little companion had destroyed a couple of target bags while I was out, so now the kitchen is a disaster.

I called BB to see if she was up still for going out. She tired, but one big meal later, she had lost her dancing feet. Rats.

I had a drink on the porch with the neighbors. . . just as much fun. I am hoping my headache will stay away for at least another day.

this and that

For a girl not doing too dang much these days, you'd think I'd be better about blogging.

Tuesday I met with the boys of real estate. Went fine, although they are still coming up with things they want me to do/change (after the book has been sent to the printers - twice now). sigh.

Tuesday night I took Roseanne and her daughter, Kara, out for Roseanne's bday. We went to Hibiscus. It was lots of fun. Totally chi-chi. My camera was acting up so Kara took the token picture. If I ever get it from her I'll post it.

Wednesday, well, I'm not sure of what I did. Wait. I went to lunch with Shelly at Bankok City. I love that place. It is such good food, but a huge quantity, but it was good because Shelly took the left overs. From there, we went to Target and I found a book shelf to put all of my stereo stuff on. Everything has been on the floor and really annoying me. So I am really excited that I finally found something that looks good, fairly inexpensive and everything fits on.

Shelly and I parted ways but met up again late at The Porch. I love that restaurant. Pam's husband, Jim and I have discussed that The Porch has fantastic hamburgers. I mean amazingly good. They also have a strawberry/vodka drink that is really yummy. After that, we crossed the street to The Monk and met up with Chuck, my favorite computer uber-nerd, and his friends. We left there at 1am. I felt very hip and happening that I stayed out so late.

Thursday I know was a total loss because I woke up with a headache and had it all day. I know what you are thinking (I thought that too), but I only had 2 drinks in 4 1/2 hours and I drank a lot of water. I'd also like to add I woke this morning with a headache. Grrr.

I had to take a dvd of the real estate book up to Henry S. Miller Company this morning, and in a little bit I'm going to roll over to Roseanne's so that we can go to Neiman's for our Makeovers!! Maybe my camera will work today.

Monday, July 7, 2008

My San Fran cousin

I am going out to San Francisco to visit my cousin GK and his family. I'm very excited because he is taking the whole week off, and with any luck, the kids, GK and I will head off on some adventure or another. . . should be loads of fun.

I mention this because he called tonight to check-in and discuss options. I'm game for anything, so I'm hoping the kids will have ideas of what they want to do. I may have to suck it up and buy a swimming suit. Going to California, odds are good there might be swimming. sigh. It needs to be a one piece since my stomach still looks like I was in a terrible car accident. OK. Not terrible, but not a fender bender! What do you think of the swimming dress? Does anyone else wonder when you hit the water does the whole dang thing float up and over your face? hmmm.

Then we have the tankini - again, if you have a belly, does the dang thing roll up when it hits your belly?

The green intrigues me. Is the stuff across the middle itchy? Does it really pull el stomach o in? I'd like to find a store - but all the good suits are gone now or totally expensive. These were all on newport-news and some are nicely priced- like $30.00. If anyone has suggestions, please feel free to chime in on what suit is most likely to NOT cause me utter horror when I put it on.

Life in the fast lane

I went to the mall for the first time in FOREVER today. I met my friend, Cindy for lunch. I got there early and thought I'd kill a little time. I killed the bejeezus out of it. I wandered intoWhiteHouse/Black Market , where I found a really cute skirt, dress and pair of shoes. No, Mom, you don't need to know how much I spent. Luckily, Cindy showed up soon after, and I stopped hemorrhaging cash at least long enough to eat.

I did get a couple more things after lunch, but hardly enough worth mentioning.

After that I headed off to the doctors which was rather anti-climatic if you ask me. He came in said the incisions were healing nicely, I could go back to normal activities and all was well. hmph. I ran by Roseanne's after that because I wanted a second opinion on how I looked in the dress. (You can't really trust those retail chicks. They are just after a buck!)

The vote was I looked good, so kept the dress. As it so happens, it is Roseanne's bday this week, so I'll wear said dress when we go out. While I was there, I got a call from my neighbor Linda about a make-up (big wig make-up artist in town). I think she might have to schedule x number of appts cause she did make mention of the convenience of having friends to be able to schedule. At any rate, Roseanne felt that she too was in need of a make-over, so we both have appts for Friday.

Finally got down to it

I got up to go to church yesterday, but my stomach was all upset. I certainly didn't want to have issues at church! So, I laid low for a little while. I did eventually manage to get in a zone and worked my way through the work I needed to do on the real estate book. In the afternoon I decided to work a little bit on the back yard. In case I haven't mentioned it before, the previous owner loved bricks. It is hard to describe how much he loved bricks. They are all over the freaking yard. At any rate, I worked on picking those up for a while and then went back to work on the book. I have all the pages as pdfs and ready to go back to the plant.

Saturday, July 5, 2008

In case you haven't figured it out

I am now completely in denial of the work I need to be doing on ye old real estate book. I've been watching Law & Order: Criminal Intent for about 5 hours now.

Oh, and after many hours of watching the commercials for the aqua globes. I bought a set. I'll let you know how they work after they arrive.

God vs. Science

I got this via email, but thought it would be fun to include here.

A science professor begins his school year with a lecture to the students, 'Let me explain the problem science has with religion.' The atheist professor of philosophy pauses before his class and then asks one of his new students to stand.

'You're aChristian, aren't you, son?'

'Yes sir,' the student says.

'So you believe in God?'


'Is God good?'

'Sure! God's good.'

'Is God all-powerful? Can God do anything?'


'Are you good or evil?'

'The Bible says I'm evil.'

The professor grins knowingly. 'Aha! The Bible!' He considers for a moment. 'Here's one for you. Let's say there's a sick person over here and you can cure him. You can do it. Would you help him? Would you try?'

'Yes sir, I would.'

'So you're good...!'

'I wouldn't say that.'

'But why not say that? You'd help a sick and maimed person if you could. Most of us would if we could. But God doesn't.'

The student does not answer, so the professor continues. 'He doesn't, does He? My brother was aChristian who died of cancer, even though he prayed to Jesus to heal him. How is this Jesus good? Hmmm? Can you answer that one?' The student remains silent.

'No, you can't, can you?' the professor says. He takes a sip of water from a glass on his desk to give the student time to relax.

'Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?'

'Er...yes,' the student says.

'Is Satan good?' The student doesn't hesitate on this one. 'No.'

'Then where does Satan come from?' The student falters. 'From God'

'That's right. God made Satan, didn't he? Tell me, son. Is there evil in this world?'

'Yes, sir.'

'Evil's everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything, correct?'


'So who created evil?' The professor continued, 'If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principle that our works define who we are, then God is evil.'

Again, the student has no answer.

'Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things, do they exist in this world?' The student squirms on his feet. 'Yes.'

'So who created them?'

The student does not answer again, so the professor repeats his question. 'Who created them?' There is still no answer. Suddenly the lecturer breaks away to pace in front of the classroom. The class is mesmerized. 'Tell me,' he continues onto another student. 'Do you believe in JesusChrist, son?'

The student's voice betrays him and cracks. 'Yes, professor, I do.'

The old man stops pacing. 'Science says you have five senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Have you ever seen Jesus?'

'No sir. I've never seen Him.'

'Then tell us if you've ever heard your Jesus?'

'No, sir, I have not.'

'Have you ever felt your Jesus, tasted your Jesus or smelt your Jesus? Have you ever had any sensory perception of JesusChrist, or God for that matter?'

'No, sir, I'm afraid I haven't.'

'Yet you still believe in him?'


'According to the rules of empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?'

'Nothing,' the student replies. 'I only have my faith. '

'Yes, faith,' the professor repeats. 'And that is the problem science has with God. There is no evidence, only faith.'

The student stands quietly for a moment, before asking a question of His own. 'Professor, is there such thing as heat?'

'Yes,' the professor replies. 'There's heat.'

'And is there such a thing as cold?'

'Yes, son, there's cold too.'

'No sir, there isn't.'

The professor turns to face the student, obviously interested. The room suddenly becomes very quiet. The student begins to explain. 'You can have lots of heat , even more heat, super-heat, mega-heat, unlimited heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat, but we don't have anything called 'cold'. We can hit up to 458 degrees below zero, which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold; otherwise we would be able to go colder than the lowest -458 degrees.' 'Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-458 F) is the total absence of heat. You see, sir, cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat we can measure in thermal units because heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.'

Silence across the room. A pen drops somewhere in the classroom, sounding like a hammer.

'What about darkness, professor. Is there such a thing as darkness?'

'Yes,' the professor replies without hesitation. 'What is night if it isn't darkness?'

'You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is not something; it is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light, but if you have no light constantly you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it?

That's the meaning we use to define the word.'

'In reality, darkness isn't. If it were, you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?'

The professor begins to smile at the student in front of him. This will be a good semester. 'So what point are you making, young man?'

'Yes, professor. My point is, your philosophical premise is flawed to start with, and so your conclusion must also be flawed.'

The professor's face cannot hide his surprise this time. 'Flawed? Can you explain how?'

'You are working on the premise of duality,' the student explains. 'You argue that there is life and then there's death; a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it.'

'Now tell me, professor. Do you teach your students that they evolved from monkey?'

'If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, young man, yes, of course I do.'

'Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?'

The professor begins to shake his head, still smiling, as he realizes where the argument is going. A very good semester, indeed.

'Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you now not a scientist, but a preacher?'

The class is in uproar. The student remains silent until the commotion has subsided.

'To continue the point you were making earlier to the other student, let me give you an example of what I mean.' The student looks around the room. 'Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the professor's brain?' The class breaks out into laughter.

'Is there anyone here who has ever heard the professor's brain, felt the professor's brain, touched or smelt the professor's brain? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain, with all due respect, sir.'

'So if science says you have no brain, how can we trust your lectures, sir?'

Now the room is silent. The professor just stares at the student, his face unreadable.

Finally, after what seems an eternity, the old man answers. 'I guess you'll have to take them on faith.'

'Now, you accept that there is faith, and, in fact, faith exists with life,' the student continues. 'Now, sir, is there such a thing as evil?'

Now uncertain, the professor responds, 'Of course, there is. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.'

To this the student replied, 'Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.'

The professor sat down.

Oops left out details

Ok, so I realize reviewing el blogo that I have failed to included some pertinent details. (Blame the drugs). I did have my gall bladder out Friday. Poor Mom and Dad drove back from visiting Monica and company in Atlanta to take me to the hospital and sit with me. I was released at about 7pm and we headed home. Poor Mom spent the night with me and stayed for part of Saturday. It was uncomfortable and I have little cuts across my belly, but I did not need 24 hour watching so she got to go home.

Once Mom was reassured that I would survive and didn't need lots of observation, she and Dad made plans to head out to Virginia to see Keith and company. Hopefully they are able to have a good time enjoying the Washington D.C. fireworks.

At any rate with any luck the scars will heal soon and when I go to the doctor Monday, he'll tell me I'm in shipshop shape.

Happy July 4th

Randy and Diana came down to see my house and go to lunch. As always they came prepared to party with two bottles of champagne and extra clothing so that I would have appropriate red, white and blue attire. We went to Ozona. They have a great patio and decent food. There weren't very many people there, but Randy managed to greet and make friends with almost everyone there. In addition, Diana had a new pair of heels very similar to an older pair. So, she gave me her older pair. We took a photo to show said shoes. Try not to be too blinded by the whiteness of my legs. I also got a shot of Randy. After they left, I had to nap.

Getting Culture

So Thursday night my neighbor Linda and I went to Thursday nights Free at the Nasher Sculpture Garden. As always when you want company and the activity is free - I'm your girl. If you ever get the chance, you should check the sculpture garden out. Some cool stuff there. My favorite is the pole with people climbing up it. The irony is that we went to talk movies with Gary Cogill (which some of you may know is my neighbor.) It was fun and funny. Fun because he reminded me of an awful lot of movies I really want to see (Wall E, Kung Fu Panda, Borat, Wanted, Kingdom, SuperBad) but have not because of the Real Estate Book grrr. And Funny cause there are some uber movie geeks in the world showing up to talk movies with Gary.

When we left, we went back to Linda's car to discover that a huge SUV was parked beside us. Please review the parking job. Seriously, what kind of jackass parks that way? Please note the license plate: 033SNW. If you see this vehicle or the driver, kick them (car and driver).

Thursday, July 3, 2008

What a day!

Well, first of all, my dear friend HW was over at my house last night until AFTER midnight (3 hours past my bedtime for those of you keeping track!) working on the real estate book. We went through the entire freaking thing and alllllll of the corrections the boys had given us making corrections or figuring out why we weren't making the corrections or making different corrections than the ones they suggested.

I hardly slept at all. I just couldn't get comfortable. I would try to sleep on my side, but it was as if I could feel my innards hanging free with no place to rest since the gall bladder was gone. Uncomfortable.

Buddy woke up at about 4am because he desperately needed to potty, then they both were up at 6am because, well, they were up.

I got to HSM early to meet the boys for the meeting that started at 8:30am. We finished at about 2pm. Of course now I am home and they are sacked out sleeping. Rotten dogs.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

I want readers!

So, my dear friend for grins and giggles reads blogs. Occasionally, she will find one amusing or note worthy enough to forward on to me. Todays was very funny. Look at some of her posts http://www.derfwadmanor.blogspot.com/- she has over 100 comments. I want comments!!

I obviously have to up my game. Write more, actually be funny. Stuff like that. She also has lots of pictures. I need to work on that too. OK. Summer resolution. Finish damn real estate book and become famous blogger . . . ok, occasionally get comments on blog posts. (start small, right?)

Today I am off to have lunch with Helen. I love Helen. She is a PR girl, and in a former life wrote for a newspaper. She is practical, savvy and smart. I want to be her some day. Today, I will have to be happy just having lunch with her. I'm going to show her some of the corrections the boys made to the real estate book proofs.

The proofs that are currently making me grind my teeth. When I gave them copies of the book to write all over and really make changes to - they did hardly anything. When they got these which I very clearly said were to find serious errors only, they made a gazillion changes. Some of the changes are actually grammatically incorrect. What a freaking beating.

I am hoping Helen will help me find the nice words to tell the boys what I think rather than the script that is currently scrolling through my head which I will let you imagine but does include the words BullShit and WTF.

I am getting my hair cut after that. Don't be silly. Not really cut. Just trimmed. : )

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

New Study

I was reading O magazine and their is a blurp on an MIT study that found that a new 2.50 pain killer is better than the one that cost .10 - they were both placebos. I'd like to say the hydrocodone I'm taking is working great.

Two dogs and a girl

I got Sabrina and Buddy back from the Canine Country Club yesterday. They slept all afternoon. Poor Sabrina has a wound under her left eye. Damage from running amok on the farm I suppose.

I met with the Book committee today. I don't think they have fully understood the process. When it was time for them to make a gazillion changes, they really didn't. When it was time to make minimal changes to final for the plant . . . you guessed it . . . they made a gazillion changes.

So, I need to go through all of the changes that they have marked in the next 36 hours or so before meeting with them Thursday morning at 9am to discuss any changes that are worthy of discussion. Then I'll go to work making all of the changes to give them ANOTHER freaking set of proofs before sending them all to the plant. sigh.

The dogs are full of a little more energy today. By a little more, I do mean rather annoyingly more full of energy. No, wait, I got up from trying to take a nap because they wouldn't STOP fighting and jumping on the bed . . . and now they are both asleep in the tv room. I curse their pokey little heads.