I can't feel my face.

And, no, I don't mean that metaphorically. I mean it is Friday night. (The last night I sleep on the floor...ever if God grants me this wish.) Because I am old. I mean really old. I know this because I have been moving for it seems like forever and every part of my body hurts. This would include the massage I got this week to get me through the week. Even after the massage I still hurt. Does that mean I would dead from the pain otherwise? I think that is possible.

Yesterday? The day of Thanksgiving, I moved all day. Back and forth, back and forth. I was thankful that I didn't deal with anyone annoying. That was really nice.

I have gotten all of the little random shit out of the house that I can (well, except for the little random shit I will be getting tomorrow.)

I have gotten everything that is in the new place in the right place. Maybe not totally unpacked and ready to go, but in the right room and ready to be ready to go.

I have put up shelves all over the place and I showed up at Bed Bath and Beyond at 6am to get the 20% off on my entire "must have to be organized" list. I never go out on Black Friday. I sure as shit never go out at the crack of dawn. But this year, this year I went out. BBB and Home Depot. That was it. But it was plenty. I've been up a very long time today.

Mimi came by and checked out the old place - I got a thumbs up for "this does not stink of a dog with uncontrollable bladder and bowels." Hooray. She checked out the new place and gave me ideas of how I can control the dog chaos.

She also mentioned that her son has remarked that I never return his calls. Sigh. No energy for you dear, all focused on the dog and the move and survival.

Karla came by to say hi and drop off some stuffing. She saved some for me last year too. Best. Part. of. Thanksgiving. Hands down.

So, if I survive the move tomorrow... then I shall clean on Sunday. And then I will be totally done and out of the old place and good riddance to the dog hating pedophile.

In the meantime I'm going to sit here and hope the feeling returns to my cheeks. And that I don't get feeling to any other part of my body because it all hurts. A lot. Like throbbing hurt. Because I'm old and tired.

Oh, and in case I forgot to mention it. I'm not on happy pills anymore. I didn't have time to go to the doctor. Really. And let's be honest that dr's visit was a couple of laser therapy's for Sabrina. So now it is just me and God against the world. Good company. He might want to help me a little more during TV commercials. They make me cry. A lot. It's embarrassing.

Ok, that's all.

Happy Effin Thanksgiving

Well, technically it is the night before Thanksgiving. Tonight I am sitting in Kirby's drinking cosmo's and happy to not be packing or unpacking. My computer is running painfully slowly which makes me want to hurt someone. I have no internet at home, so I should be grateful for what I can get.

I am sleeping on the floor for the 5th of 7 nights. My back is killing me, but do you know what? No one is yelling at the dogs or me. It is good.

Today? All in all it was a good day.

Today, I wasn't at school. We had 7 proof batches to finish yesterday. My ads managers managed to do 2. By 7pm I decided it was time to call it a night. So, we left. With the batches not done. The good part of being old and having done a job for a long time is that I know it really doesn't matter. I wasn't working, so that was cool. Sure, Monday will be a beating, but what the heck.

Today I discovered that my new next door neighbor? Besides being the most beautiful black woman I have ever met, she's a vet. She likes dogs. Thank you, Sweet Jesus.

Today? I filed a police report for my circular saw and sander. There is a chance that they are just packed and missing, but there is a better chance I left the garage door open as I did stuff and they were stolen. The policeman who took the report was a total sweetheart. He talked to me about making marijuana legal. He was fun, and I'm all for it.

Today, I took Sabrina for her 3rd laser treatment. When we left, she effing JUMPED into the car. Trust me when I tell you, it was a big deal. Please God let her keep healing. I love the fact that we are trying something new and fairly untested, and it is working. IT IS WORKING.

Tonight? I'm grateful for all the things going well in my life. And there is a lot. I'm a lucky girl.

Save Money by Spending Less- What crap

I follow Miss Britt. Miss Britt follows Man vs Debt. I went to it to see what he had to say and started contemplating my own outrageous debt. Hmm. I thought to myself. I wonder what could websites there are on good ways to save money etc.

Guess what? They all say the same thing.

There is no miracle. It's like losing effing weight. You have to burn more calories than you take in. So, other than the miracle lottery win...

Yeah, the ugly truth is that if I'm going to get my stupid bills paid I'm going to have to pay them off. And spend less money on stupid crap. Dang it. I was really hoping for something easier.

Feeling Zen

What is it about moving that fills me with expectations and a desire to improve myself. Certainly this last move did nothing for me. I never managed to find my groove, get really organized, keep up with my devotionals or really anything. It was a 12 month interim of not accomplishing jack shit.

This move? This move has me filled with hope. Sure, Sabrina is still sick, so my new downstairs will still be an infirmary, BUT it is tile, so it should be easier to keep clean.

The new place has a 3rd bedroom, so I will have an office/craft/sewing/wrapping room. It will be organized, neat and orderly.

The guest room will still have to have my dresser of skivvies and the closet will have my out of season clothes, BUT it will be a lovely guest room used at least once a year when my friend PR comes to stay with me the night before school starts.

The TWO car garage will be organized with my garden tools and work tools. The washer and dryer are in the garage so that will be an organized area too.

I am putting things on Craig's List, and if I can't sell stuff, then I'll give it away. I will not hoard my shit. I will give it away so other people can hoard.

I have to admit, I really thought when I rented this place I had found the smallest kitchen in America, but then I saw the new place, and Eureka, I had found it...an even SMALLER kitchen. Does it get any better than this? NO. It's awesome. I will keep only what I really need, and let's be honest, I am not a big cooker.

In fact, I keep thinking that if my official move date is November 27, and 37 days later I go back to school, then I could give myself 37 days to get unpacked, organized and ready to go.

In the meantime, I, prepare to begin applause, have already figured out what I want my new year's resolutions to be. I am going to share because it is good. No, not unusual, no, won't be a surprise, but still good.

2011 the year of mind, body, environment. 20 minutes a day, for my mind, my body and my environment. Easy right? One hour.

So, mind - I think will be morning. I'll read my devotional or write meditatively on the blog or both.

body - beyond walking the dogs, I will drop them off and then run for twenty minutes minimum. I HAVE to burn calories.

Environment - I will spend 20 minutes a day keeping up with the house/yard, make the bed, file docs and take care of financials, keeping the place clean, etc.

Spam much?

So, I'm online, not packing, and I decide to check the pages portion of the blog. Then I see the comments tab, and I think to myself, "Self, why are there 108 comments in this folder?" Could someone tell me why comments have been going to this spam folder (when they definitely aren't spam, and when was someone going to tell me comments weren't posting?) Geez Louise.

Expect More....Poop

I've decided this is the theme of my life right now. Please note, these are both recent droppings. Then she sat down to check out the situation. The fluff all around her? Those are pieces of the big comfy chair that I love and Buddy is destroying. I'm trying not to hate him for it. Can you tell on her tail where it has a funky bend? It is actually farther out than it used to be...Maybe that is how far along her tail has healed? She still can't feel when I touch it, but maybe the insides are healing....

Weak of stomach....do NOT look

Ladies and Gentlemen, what you are about to see is horrifying. In fact, I didn't even appreciate HOW horrifying until I was looking at the pictures on the computer.

I believe I might have mentioned the management company wants to show the old homestead. I got a phone call from the centralized showing service yesterday asking to show it yesterday afternoon. I didn't laugh out loud (trust me, it took effort) but I did decline. Went I got home, I cleaned up most of the poo, then thought, I need to take pictures to document the squalor in

which I am living these days.

So, here it is. In all its glory. Yes, I am disgusted. Upon entering, potential renters will be greeted with this view...please note the killer dogs behind the wood gate...

Normally, I wouldn't show my delicates to the world, but when I got home and started looking around at what needed to be done, I realized that my delicates were out and drying...those need to be put away. Don'tcha think?

Should they open the door behind the delicates, they get a glance at the garage, it is actually a little more organized because I took that picture last week, but it is chock full of my worldly possessions. Since technically, I'm not supposed to have a cat, my plan is to hide the litter box in the garage and the cat in the car when people come to see the place.

Back to the living room. Yup, it's a disaster.

And the big comfy chair? With no cushion because Buddy has EATEN it. . . also has pee on it because Sabrina won't stop getting on it.

The kitchen maintains the theme of horror...

What? You would like to see the patio. Oh, of course. Why, yes, that is poop on the patio. Yes, that is a dog walking in the middle of more poop. Welcome to my world.

Ok, perhaps we should go upstairs. Each night Sabrina goes to sleep with a new blanket under her. Each morning she gets up and I pick up under and take the blanket down to be washed because it is pee and poo covered. Behind her kennel you can see where ...well, I'm not even sure of how that happens, it falls out of her, that's all I can say. Gets on the wall when she shakes etc. I should have taken an after picture so you can know I really do clean up after her...often, but it is a constant job. For some reason I didn't take a picture of the rest of the room, but I like thinking about people seeing the size of the two kennels and thinking to themselves, wow, these must be really big dogs. Naa, they just need room to stretch ; )

Guest bedroom - frightful.

Back to the tour, the bathroom, it another biohazard altogether. And this one - all mine. I admit it, I'm lucky I'm showering at all. There are germs in that tub. Trust me when I tell you that. Cleaning the bathroom, so low on the list as to not even be worth mentioning. Now, really all I'm trying to do as far as the showing business go, is not have any evidence of the charge her on the move-out variety. They can know I live in squalor, I don't care. I just want to get all of my money back when I move.

My one worry has been that the mantle I had installed won't come down. I mean it might, but it is pretty solidly connected. It's the one thing I am hoping I can get away with leaving. People like mantles right?

Contemplations on baby showers

This past Saturday I got to go to the baby shower of my really good friend Anonymous. She's a shy thing, and she doesn't like the limelight, so I know to a certain extent she had to be uncomfortable with all of the attention being on her, but I loved getting to be a part of celebrating with her.

I wasn't sure of whom I would know at the shower, so first, let me say that when my eyes locked on to the wife of a friend of mine, I zoned in on her like a shark with a laser on its head. Bless her heart, she then became the recipient of all of my funny comments.

For instance, can someone explain to me why we say congratulations to women that are pregnant?

Cause, sex, (from what I've heard) not that tricky, and from the number of unplanned pregnancies in this world, not sure it's deserving of a standing ovation. I will acknowledge for the people that try for a really, really long time, maybe they DO deserve congratulations in a "wow, glad it final took" kind of way.

And, congratulations on finding a way to totally lose ALL disposable income for the next 20 years or so.

Congratulations on entering a world of constant laundry, cooking, cleaning and poo? (I've entered that world as you well know and that isn't so much of a congratulations as a bless your heart, you poor dear.

Congratulations on bringing another being in the world that you are guaranteed to some how mess up but you don't get to know how, although eventually this being will let you know how you permanently scarred him?

Ok, sorry back on topic. It was a lovely baby shower. Someone gave her a wooden fish. It had sharp pointed edges. I'll admit, not the first thing I would imagine giving at a baby shower. Best part? She wasn't there, she dropped it off before going to another engagement, so the rest of us where left to wonder, whiskey tango foxtrot? We think there is a sweetly sentimental meaningful reason to this gift, but we don't know that for sure just yet. Might have wanted to leave a note. Just saying.

The mother-to-be I have to tell you looked stunning. She had on this great cream sweater. Her hair was adorable, and although she says she's as large as a house, I have seen the large pregnant women, and she is not on that list. I can't wait to see the pictures from the shower. Hint hint she writes hoping anonymous will forward the one with them together.

Gifts given? Diapers (designer jean diapers people, really?), blankets (lots of blankets), clothes (so cute, little boy clothes - even camo!), toys, car seat, that portable kid storage thing people love so much, stuffed animals, and chocolates. Pretty good haul. Almost makes me want one. haha. Kidding.

At any rate, I can't wait to babysit. Big fun. Play with the baby. Chill with the baby. Leave the baby when I'm done.

My own Top Ten

Sometimes it's good to take a gander at the ole score chart of life, so with that in mind, let's start with the top ten things going wrong in my world.

10. I have no money. This actually isn't a big deal in and of itself because I never have any money, but it is problematic as I prepare to move AGAIN, and Christmas approaches.

9. My finely tuned plan for moving came crashing down Sunday afternoon, and I haven't quite figured out what to do. Let me assure you; cleaning the house with the dogs and cat there (have I mentioned that the cat barfs all of the time? Hardly seems worth mentioning in the face of the Sabrina issues, but problematic none the less.)

8. The management company called to tell me they plan to show my home while I'm still there. You know, the one with a cat that they don't know about, and looking like a disaster zone courtesy of trying to pack and one poop filled dog. Oh, and the back yard? The patio? Covered in poop. I spray it down every day, but pretty much, I spray it down every day because it is covered in poop every day.

7. I feel like this should be a rotating open: no dating, trying to make friends with weird girl who is strange, but the only friend I seem to be able to make, I feel like I am constantly in the kitchen or doing laundry or cleaning. I am caring for a child that has no chance of ever growing up to then take care of me. This is not right.

6. Sabrina continues to be a constant source of pee drippage and poo. And she doesn't want to eat her pumpkin anymore. That could almost be its own number because pumpkin is very important for firming the poo. Please refer to 9, 8, 7 and 6.

5. I'm still not talking to most of my seniors because there are traitors in my midst. This makes school less fun. It also means I'm trying to follow "rules" more since one of the girls has gone to her father recently and he is a school board member.

4. My life without a gall bladder was starting to settle down. I haven't really been having problems until about a month ago. Apparently the dog having issues isn't enough. Now I have issues too. Super.

3. I have two people in the world that I talk to all of the time about pretty much everything except one of them refuses to be a part of any conversation that has to do with family...you know, a huge part of my life since I live near my parents and something that will take up more and more of my life as they age. So, it sucks. I'm frustrated, sad, and annoyed.

2. I have some weird eczema on my hand and shoulder. It itches. Constantly. It is making me miserable. Stress? Old age? Cool. Oh, and by the way, the eczema is on top of the constant headaches. I have them all of the time. I am killing my liver through judicious use of alcohol and ibuprofen.

1. I'm moving over Thanksgiving. By myself. Without help from anyone. With a sick dog, a neurotic dog and an old cat. Hard to remember to be thankful with all of this on my plate.

OK, but it IS Thanksgiving so let's see if I can come up with a positive top ten things I thank God for:

10. Drugs. I know. sounds bad. But let's be honest, without the anti-anxiety meds, the migraine meds, the girl without a gall bladder meds, my life would be total hell. I am so grateful for the pharmaceutical industry and their drug making skills.

9. Caffeine. This could be part of 10 and it could be on the other list, but I am downing caffeine like nobodies business. I like to think it is helping me survive.

8. My vet. Ok, well, not my vet, but Sabrina's vet. Dr. Murray. She has been so amazing. Reassuring, checking in often, thinking of ways to change her meds to help Sabrina and me survive this. She is AWESOME.

7. My car works. Usually I would take this for granted, but I've had a brake light on for about 6 months now, and yesterday I realized I haven't changed the oil in forever. I am really grateful

6. My senior staff is great. Although some of the other seniors make me want to snarl every time I look at them. My senior staff are keeping the yearbook together for me. I am so grateful that I have them. This year would be beyond impossible without them.

5. I love my animals. Yes, there occupy most of the numbers on things going wrong right now, but last night as Sabrina, Buddy and I lay snuggled on the big comfy chair, and Sabrina slowly dripped pee on the big comfy chair, and Buddy took up more space than one 50lb dog should, I thought, "Wow. I am so lucky to have them. Even with all of this. I am so glad that I get to come home everyday to their love. They truly make me happy."

4. I found a new place to live that is just like the current one but better. Cheaper, 2 car garage, behind a park not a dog hating pediphile, 3 bedrooms not two. Yeah, this is good.

3. I get along with Blondie. After ten years of working with the meanest woman in the world and the dumbest man in the world, it is important to take a moment and appreciate how well I get along with Blondie. In fact I would also say she is part of my number 2...

2. I have a wonderful circle of friends. Sure, it is a really small circle, and most of them I don't get to see or talk to very often, but I know they are there.

1. I have the best bestie in the world. Honestly, I thank God for her every single day. I know she loves me and wants what is best for me and even on the most horrible of days, she is there making me feel better and not so alone. She rocks.

Fun Update

So, I asked Mom and Dad for a huge favor. Please, please don't go to Hawaii for Thanksgiving. I need your help. Please go after Thanksgiving. Not that they help me pack, but I needed to move the menagerie north so that I could clean the house. Trust me when I tell you, it is not possible to clean with them here.

OK Mom says. We'll stay. I tell my friends how great my parents are. I have a friend telling me yesterday as I approach their house how she was telling her friend about my parents helping me out.

I am at their house last night. I made a comment about Sabrina coming up. Mom says, "We aren't going to be here, we'll be in Hawaii." WHAT? I say. I know you are kidding. That's not funny.

No, we are going to be in Hawaii... wait for it, You didn't write anything on the calendar. Is she kidding me? I am running my ass off taking care of the dogs, dealing with school, packing my house up, and when I begged her to help me and she said yes, I was supposed to drive to their house in Plano to put it on the calendar? Really?

Honestly, I totally lost my shit. Walked out of the house and balled the entire way home.

Embarrassed that I said they were helping me, and they aren't? Yes.

Worried about how in the Hell I am going to pull of this move and cleaning of the old house? Yes.

Confused that she was home when she agreed, but she didn't write it down, and she didn't remember that she had agreed, and when were they going to tell me? I realize I'm the old child in the area, but that seems problematic to me. Wouldn't this be something she would remember?

And the worst part. It's my own fault. I never should have asked them in the first place. I feel like an idiot.

Sorry it's been so long

What can I say? I've been busy.

I continue to map out my packing schedule, so that I don't have to do too much at a time, and I'll be packed well before the Nov 19th move the dogs, cat and self to M & D's date.

So, 12 months after moving the last time, I am moving again. On the plus side, the more I think about the new place the more excited I am about moving. It is going to really serve my needs well for the next two years. I will have to buy a house by November 2012 so I stay under that 3 year marker for tax purposes, but at least I'll stay put for 24 months.

I have worked out where I want everything to go, and what I want to sell. I am having a love affair with Craig's list right now, although I haven't actually sold anything in a couple of weeks. I still love the idea of NOT having a garage sale, but selling the things that can go.

The new place is 3 bedroom. I am beside myself with excitement for a "craft room/office." I can't wait to get the sewing machine out, have a place for the wrapping paper etc and have space for a desk to handle bills etc.

Sabrina and Buddy continue to both be my joys and total pains in the ass.

OK, you are now caught up