Friday, May 28, 2010

Beatings will continue...

until morale improves.

That is about how I feel. Today is Friday; last day of school. All of the students will be out of the building by 1:30, leaving the faculty to finish grading and packing up rooms etc. for the summer.

Yesterday, to put it bluntly, was a hell of a day. I'm not sure if I can even describe it in a way that makes sense. I'll try to reduce everything to the lowest common denominator. Trust me when I tell you I am leaving large bits out.

While trying to clean out the TV studio (remodeling this summer), it became clear that there are still problems with the Mayor of Meantown.

Blondie and I discussed it afterwards and agreed that as long as she felt any ownership over the journalism program (ie teaching a multimedia class) she was going to want to exert power and influence, and we would be at odds. And it isn't even that I want to be in charge or anything it is just that she is somehow threatened by me and reacts to that feeling.

Example: while cleaning I started looking for the yearbook DVDs that haven't been passed out yet, but that people have bought from the last four years. The Mayor informed me she saved 2 from each year. I said that wasn't enough, where were they so that I could pull them. Mayor got mad. This begs the question: why would she give a shit? I wasn't asking her to pull them, store them, pass them out or deal with them in any way, but I know that I need to have them so that if someone does show up, I have them to pass out.

There are seriously weird psychological issues at play; and they are not even mine. The Mayor is worried about being "left out" of anything, but she is at the other end of the building and Blondie and I share an office. We talk all day (except for those times we are forced to teach or talk to the children haha, no really.) So, pretty much, she will always be the last to know and it is almost a guarantee that we will forget to tell her stuff and then what? She'll always be pissed.

At any rate, I looked at Blondie yesterday and said I didn't think I was going to be able to work with the Mayor. I cannot take the stress (I am a delicate flower, thank you very much.) I considered this to be an act of self-protection. I've met crazy me, and she is really no fun to be with at all. She was concerned enough about what is going to happen that she sought guidance from the powers that be. A meeting is scheduled for today.

We went to Neiman's for make-overs (I love my friend LG, she just calls and says hey, I've scheduled you for xxx time, does that work? ...Why, yes, that is lovely) After our make-overs we went to dinner. I'd been telling her for two days about the pizza that Jerimy makes at Kirby's. It is soooo good. Unfortunately, it isn't on the menu yet, and he was totally making pizzas for some PR thing.

I kept throwing Mike, the bartender, under the bus by asking him to check with Jerimy on the pizza. There might have been death threats made to Mike, however, he was too much of a gentleman to repeat them to us. But, really, is it my fault that Jerimy tested out a new pizza on me and I found it to die for? I say no. I am a victim of a shockingly good pizza.

There is a chance I might have gotten horsey waiting for the pizza. When Jerimy finally was able to make it he placed it gently in front of me with the words "If anyone else asks for this, I'm going to kill you." Do you see why I love this place so?

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Wacky parents (not mine)

So, inevitably each year, some wacked out parent gets a bee in the bonnet and sends a letter of complaint. Last year it was the mom upset that her son and his girlfriend weren't listed in the senior specialty section as "Wedding Bells" Oh, how they make me tired.

This year, wackadoodle #1 sent a letter to the superintendent of the district, the principal and the business manager of the district (I have no idea of why that poor woman got included in the line up). As an after thought, she copied me.

Dear Administration of XXXX,

I am looking at the High School yearbook and am very disappointed that there were no pages designated to the Arts. No pages designated to Choir, with pictures of the several different Choirs. No pages designated to the Band, with pictures of the two bands. Nothing for Orchestra, Belles or Cheerleaders either. Yet, I see several pages for every sport, with a picture of each team for that sport. I find this very sad, especially for all the kids that worked so hard this year to represent the High School with the talents they have.

I just can not believe that this was allowed to go to print! The editor has apparently never worked on a yearbook before. I myself have been the editor of several yearbooks, so I do know what I am talking about. The yearbook was also way too wordy. We want to see pictures and not read stuff that people didn't even really say. Both of my daughter's have quotes that they never said. One even was about her going to the Homecoming Dance, which she didn't do! The other was about
herasking a girl to a dance! I'm sure someone was trying to be creative with the quotes and the seasons, but in my opinion it did not work.

I only hope that next year's yearbook will focus on
all the kids at the school and not just the ones that play sports, or pay for an ad. Do you realize that nationally kids in band and choir score higher on the SAT and ACT, yet they don't even get recognized at your school. How sad is that.

Thank you for your time.
Mrs. Crazy Head

I can't even describe the many ways this woman shows she is crazy. Of course, I am forced to respond in a grown up manner. It hurts me people it really does, cause this is the letter that I wanted to send:

Dear Mrs. Nutjob,

First and foremost, when sending a letter condemning something, it is usually best to take a moment and proofread. Honesty, you sound like an idiot.

Second, give me all of your daughters homework from the last year, let me slap it together and print it for the world to see and then get back to me. Cause really, this is just one big ass class project with a lot of homework assignments. Done by teenagers for teenagers.

I'm not sure of what to think that you got so wound up over the yearbook you felt a need to send a letter to the superintendent. It is just a yearbook, lady.

You are correct the yearbook staff made the decision to keep the traditional sports spreads, and each sport has 1 spread. They chose to do a chronological book which did rearrange most of the spreads. Ironically, it actually meant that activities such as choir and band had better coverage than they did before. But I totally understand your desire to bitch than to be appreciative that these organizations got increased coverage.

Sure, if the index editors had done their job right and actually indexed all the effin activities like I told them to do, you would have been able to see the long row of pages following these organizations, but again, as long as the book is being created by 15 year olds doing class work, I'm pretty much screwed out of the perfect book.

I have no idea of why you think there are no group pictures in the book. If I get it, it is in the book. Have you considered having your eyes checked?

I don't know what to tell you about your daughter's quotes. They gave quotes, they signed the quote sheets, not sure where I can go with that. Although I think the one daughter went to a Halloween party with another girl, not homecoming. But again, let's not be bothered with facts if possible.

I don't know what to tell you about your daughters quotes. I have signatures. They gave a quote and signed the quote sheet.

I don't give a flying F what you think Diva

Best part, my friend PR got a hold of my letter and shall we say "Massaged" it. Very polite and all. The mom responded - just to me of course that really I didn't need to respond, her daughters thought it was funny that they were misquoted and oh by the way no one likes to see the vacation pictures either.

NUT JOB. Honestly, the parents of the 120 kids I teach are fine, no problem, if we could only get the other 1700 kids parents under control that would be really swell.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Dear World,

This week has been a total beating, and it has driven me to Kirby's for another round of filet (yum for steak) and cosmos. (By the way, if Tony, my favorite bartender didn't make them so effin' good, I would not be losing feeling in my cheeks and contemplating the odds of turning into a raging alcoholic.) Of course, if Kirby's didn't provide me with a kickin' kids steak for $10.00 I might not be here so much either.

I really shouldn't complain. Although I have received one email (copied to me but sent to the superintendent and the principal of the high school) that is certifiably crazy, there really have been no complaints.

I responded to the complaint, but I sent it to my friend PR first to approve, yeah,

And although I have to completely empty the yearbook room by Friday, the kids have been great about helping. Today we put the two computers at my desk away. Cool except that it turns out the phone is attached to the computers so now I have no phone in my classroom. Probably a good thing cause it seriously reduces the crazies abilities to harass my ass.

Ok, so we also are having fun and games with co-workers and the remodeling of the TV studio and stuff. One of my favorite people is leaving the school, and, I might add, leaving a vacuum in his place. Blondie is so excited at the idea of teaching video though it's hard for her to control her enthusiasm (She is controlling, but barely, her intense desire to dump the newpaper and just do the video/TV.

In the meantime, we are having a little trouble with the mayor of meantown. It's weird cause it is almost like she wants to jump in and be in charge because she some how fears my being in charge, but I can't really be in charge because I know diddley about video. So, Blondie is in charge, I follow her like a puppy in love. My only contribution is really that I know lots of people and the yearbook has money.

AND what is even better, Blondie and I realized that between all of the accounts, we think we have enough money to get the stuff we want to get before school starts to make sure that all of our programs are ready to go. BAM.

Weird things are also going on with the Europe trip, but I don't dare discuss before the trip for fear of jinxing the whole damn thing.

P.S. So Mike one of the waiters commented on the fact I am blogging. So, Mike, if you really did note the site, I say "hello to you. Welcome to the gawdawfully boring world of your friend the Diva. "

Friday, May 21, 2010

Yearbook delivery day 1

I woke up Thursday morning mildly panic and wide-eyed. Through the night I had woken myself up thinking about the things I had failed to do in a more timely manner to get ready for yearbook delivery day to seniors. My brain was a chuggin'. So, as I raced through laying lunch out, finding clothes, putting on make-up, I thought to myself that I needed to remember to take my antibiotic from the plague I had just recovered from last week. So, I saw the prescription bottle and popped a pill.

"Huh," I said. "I thought the pills were bigger and yellow." So, I peered in the container. Sure enough, they were all white. Then I looked in the mirrored cabinet and I thought, that prescription container looks more like the one I thought this was. So, I looked closer...I had just taken a Hydrocodone. (Don't judge, my throat hurt really badly last week and every time I did the stupid netty pot I wanted to cry. Hydrocodone can be a fine drug if taken properly. Not the case here though.)

So, I thought, well, my arms are going to be loosy goosy today, but it will be ok. Folks, let me tell you, it was NOT ok.

By 7:45am the Hydrocodone had hit. One of my editor-in-chiefs was in the room. I told her what I had done because I thought this will be a mildly amusing story and it just means I'll be a little goofy. Hours later as word spread through my classes and I fear the building that I'm an idiot who doesn't read her medicine bottles before chugging drugs, I regretted sharing that tidbit.

At any rate, I was having trouble standing. By 8:00 I had started throwing up, since I hadn't actually eaten anything yet, I was just throwing up the lining of my stomach which I would continue to throw up all day.

By 8:20 Blondie sent me down to the nurses and she watched over yearbook distribution. I came back upstairs right before 3rd since I had a class. Thank God, I had yearbook staffers sign up to pass out yearbooks because I love the photoj kids but would never trust them to not screw up the passing out of books.

I lasted about 10 minutes into third and then I went into the hallway where the yearbook couch resides during yearbook distribution and slept. That is where I stayed all day until about 3:00 when two of my girls volunteered to drive me home. Got sick again.

Make it to the car, as we are driving along, sweet child #1 looks in the rear view mirror to see sweet child #2 getting pulled over for talking on her phone. I think she might have gotten out of the ticket since she started crying immediately and I think the first words out of her mouth were I am taking my teacher home because she took a Hydrocodone by mistake. Sigh.

As we are pulling onto my street, I say to sweet child #1, "Hurry up, I'm about to be sick again." Yup.

We get in the front door, hmm, funny smell. Looks like the dogs got into the 100 calorie snacks I bought that I now believe are filled with all sorts of bad ingredients if the diarrhea all over my living room carpet is anything to go by. So, while waiting for sweet child #2 to talk her way out of the ticket, I began the cleaning up process. I don't know why I didn't take photos. I have to remember to start taking photos.

Once the girls left, I went to bed. And stayed there. All night. Didn't watch T.V. slept. Tried to watch it once or twice, woke up, turned TV on, and then realized I couldn't do it. Back to sleep.

On the upside, my yearbook staff is unbelievable. They passed out books all day. Took attendance, kept people quiet as they wandered by the semi-comatose body on the couch. I'm telling you these girls know how to rise to an occasion.

Now I have to pass our yearbooks to the rest of the school. TaTaForNow

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Praying for Death

I've been dealing with sinus issues for a couple of weeks. But since my doctor (that I FINALLY made a commitment to after many years of Primacare) has become a "boutique" doctor charging $1,000 a year (but he'll even make house calls), I am back to no doctor.

I say this because yesterday literally in the middle of the day I starting feeling like total dog poop. And, from previous posts, you know I am much too familiar with the sights, sounds and smells of that one. I went to the nurses. They had me gargle with salt water and told me to get zyrtec. I followed their instructions.

Last night I felt wretched. My throat was killing me. In fact, I finally went to sleep and then woke up in the middle of the night because my throat hurt so badly. I popped a hydrocodone, advil, sprayed some of that sore throat spray and did a nose spray then went back to bed. (The BFF had suggested that I go lick the door handle on Mr. Poo Poo Heads vehicle in order to pass this particularly vile illness along to him...I have to admit I went to sleep dreaming of how I could make it work.)

I woke up feeling a little better but still pretty miserable.

Yesterday I was practically psychotically unhappy. I promised the children I would be more cheerful today. This is going to require serious pain meds. Sigh.

There are 22 days until the last day of school...if I live that long.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Back in the saddle again

I know you are dying to know the latest in the dating installment. I know it was getting boring so here we go.

Left message Sunday night, no call back.
6:30pm Monday sent text "Not to be difficult, but any chance you are going to call me tonight?"

He calls about 30 minutes later as he is going to dinner with a friend "Who he hasn't seen in a while" yeah, know how that is.

We talk for 15 minutes or so, and then I finally say, "You know you either need to tell me you don't want to date me or we need to talk." To which he says (in a fairly derogatory tone) "Yeah, I've lost interest in this whole relationship."

I said, "Thanks for being honest with me." I think he realized he sounded like a total jackass because then he changed his tone and started in on the "I'm 46 and probably will never find someone that is perfect" (Isn't he smart?) blah, blah, blah, I should have written everything down. I can't decide if he was planning on skitzing out or asking a bunch of questions or what, but I told him in the beginning that when the relationship ends the door wouldn't hit me on the ass on the way out.

At any rate, I said it is what it is and thanks again for being honest, have a nice dinner and goodnight.

So, now I'm a little pissed that he was jerky, I'm a little sad because there were a lot of things I liked about it, a little disappointed that it didn't work out and a little whiny at the thought of dating again, but I do it for you, my audience.

Back in the saddle again... oh and I defriended his ass on Facebook.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Where's the wall? I need a head beating

Although I have no wish to offend, I feel I must say I think God is just messing with me. Seriously, like he's up there all busy and all, and he looked down and said, that one, that is the one I am going to mess with with (insert evil laugh here.)

Last week was TAKS testing. Total beating. The long and the short of it is that I had 4 hours a day to watch kids test, paint peel and think...and think...and think. What did I think about? My dating life, of course.

So, the last two weeks have been spectacularly weird in dating land. I joined Mr. Potential at the lake a couple of weeks ago. (I got a speeding ticket on the way making it trip one to the lake loss of very expensive sunglasses in lake and trip two very expensive speeding ticket trip.)

Came home on a Sunday...didn't hear a word until Friday. So, we go out, and I have to say it was a little weird. I'm not sure if I could put my finger on it exactly, but it was weird.

I know he is going out of town for the weekend and then he was going to be working out of town the first part of the week. Thought I might at least get a phone call or something, but no, not a word. I knew he was back in town Thursday, so by Thursday night, I was a mess. Fine, apparently this relationship literally was going to end in silence. Woke up the next morning thinking my life was smelling pretty shitty, then I realized the smell was from one of the dogs and a bad episode of diarrhea... all over the area rug under by bed. Cool. (Did I mention the comforter had recently been barfed on too?)

So, I get to school on Friday for the final day of TAKS testing. Yippee. I go through a myriad of emotional responses to how I am feeling about being dumped silently. That afternoon I get a call from my yearbook rep saying the yearbooks were arriving this week not next. That totally sent me into a tizzy because there is a lot required to get ready to receive 240 boxes of yearbooks.

That night was the Video Tech Awards Banquet at which I was helping to give awards (always fun.) As we were about to walk in...Mr Potential calls. I let it go to voice mail. The message said he was alive and going to the lake the next day...

The whole not hearing from him thing makes me nutty. As much as I like being with him, I can't handle the not hearing in between. He's not a bad person, I just can't do this. OK, so I need to go ahead and pull the trigger, but trying to time calling is tricky, can't call too early cause he's not up yet, didn't want to get him as he was heading to the lake because reception would be bad, so I didn't call Sat.

I waited until I thought he was back from the lake...yesterday afternoon. I called (after writing what I wanted to say about 100 times and changing what I was saying about 200). Yeah, I got his voice mail. Are you FREAKING kidding me???? Honestly it is one of the reasons I don't ever call him. I ALWAYS get his voice mail.

So, now I have a headache and my stomach is all unhappy because I know we need to talk/end this and it hasn't happened yet. Auuuggghhhh