Monday, May 3, 2010

Where's the wall? I need a head beating

Although I have no wish to offend, I feel I must say I think God is just messing with me. Seriously, like he's up there all busy and all, and he looked down and said, that one, that is the one I am going to mess with with (insert evil laugh here.)

Last week was TAKS testing. Total beating. The long and the short of it is that I had 4 hours a day to watch kids test, paint peel and think...and think...and think. What did I think about? My dating life, of course.

So, the last two weeks have been spectacularly weird in dating land. I joined Mr. Potential at the lake a couple of weeks ago. (I got a speeding ticket on the way making it trip one to the lake loss of very expensive sunglasses in lake and trip two very expensive speeding ticket trip.)

Came home on a Sunday...didn't hear a word until Friday. So, we go out, and I have to say it was a little weird. I'm not sure if I could put my finger on it exactly, but it was weird.

I know he is going out of town for the weekend and then he was going to be working out of town the first part of the week. Thought I might at least get a phone call or something, but no, not a word. I knew he was back in town Thursday, so by Thursday night, I was a mess. Fine, apparently this relationship literally was going to end in silence. Woke up the next morning thinking my life was smelling pretty shitty, then I realized the smell was from one of the dogs and a bad episode of diarrhea... all over the area rug under by bed. Cool. (Did I mention the comforter had recently been barfed on too?)

So, I get to school on Friday for the final day of TAKS testing. Yippee. I go through a myriad of emotional responses to how I am feeling about being dumped silently. That afternoon I get a call from my yearbook rep saying the yearbooks were arriving this week not next. That totally sent me into a tizzy because there is a lot required to get ready to receive 240 boxes of yearbooks.

That night was the Video Tech Awards Banquet at which I was helping to give awards (always fun.) As we were about to walk in...Mr Potential calls. I let it go to voice mail. The message said he was alive and going to the lake the next day...

The whole not hearing from him thing makes me nutty. As much as I like being with him, I can't handle the not hearing in between. He's not a bad person, I just can't do this. OK, so I need to go ahead and pull the trigger, but trying to time calling is tricky, can't call too early cause he's not up yet, didn't want to get him as he was heading to the lake because reception would be bad, so I didn't call Sat.

I waited until I thought he was back from the lake...yesterday afternoon. I called (after writing what I wanted to say about 100 times and changing what I was saying about 200). Yeah, I got his voice mail. Are you FREAKING kidding me???? Honestly it is one of the reasons I don't ever call him. I ALWAYS get his voice mail.

So, now I have a headache and my stomach is all unhappy because I know we need to talk/end this and it hasn't happened yet. Auuuggghhhh

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