Thursday, May 5, 2011

My suggestion is to cross your legs

Today, I shall write about my bathroom adventures. Trust me when I tell you I am using the term "bathroom" quite loosely. First, the key is to use the restroom in the hotel and then do NOT drink fluids. Tricky, cause it is hotter than the hinges of hell, and sweat runs in rivers down the back. Smell isn't all that great either.

So, after lunch I found myself in need of the facilities. They were out back...yes, very similar to an outhouse. In fact, it was pointed out to me through a window. I asked which door is the girls...and they said either. Turns out left door was for pee, right door for poo... Luckily Andrea had already gone, so she was able to guide me through the process. It looked like a shower, but one stands on the "edge" of the shower and squats to pee. There were pipes that get turned on to flush out the pee. Turns out, unlike Andrea who was able to pee perfectly into a two inch square hole, I can't make pee in a shower stall.

The day progresses. By late afternoon I have to potty again. I'm obviously drinking way too much water because I've pretty much been peeing once day up until now. So, back at the admin building (where I know there is at least a toilet) I've accepted the fact that the toilet paper gets thrown in the trash and that this is the land of squatting, but at least it is a toilet.

I am ready to pull my pants down, but I have sweat so much that I don't actually have to unzip. Suckers just come down. Then I get my Charmin and the stuff sticks to my hands cause I am dripping. In the meantime my skivvies are all sticking to me. It was a total Charlie Foxtrot.

But, I am back at the hotel, freshly showered and thanking the good Lord for American restrooms.

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