Thursday, April 2, 2009

God is going to teach me self control . . .

even if it kills me. I guess this is part of growing up. Sure, I'm behind the curve on this one, but clearly, the dear Lord feels it is time. Ok, fine, I'm down with that.

I would guess there are several areas in which he feels I would most benefit from self-control. Let's explore them one by one, shall we?

Area 1: Money. Oh, this one is a doozy. It has caused members of my family, especially my mother, and friends great angst for a long time. First, let me say, I am very bad in math. This would not be a big deal except often I think I am spending in my budget when in actuality, my numbers are off considerably. In addition, I have chosen to live a life with credit cards which means, unlike people who stop spending when they run out of money, I never actually run out of money. The beauty of plastic. It's unfortunate.

Also, having recently seen Confessions of a Shopaholic, all I can say is well, go see the movie. That's me. But without the guy. And, sadly, cheaper clothes, but more in debt. Now, I'm really depressed. Our conclusion? I need to show some self-control and spend less money. Bah, easy enough to say, but oh, so very difficult to do.

Area 2: Food. Sure, I've always had a weakness for food. I'm an eater. However, the removal of the gall bladder last summer took some of the fun out of eating, especially in light of the dr's assistant telling me that it will probably be a couple more years before my body straightens itself out and can eat fat again. Think about it people. Food with fat in it is dangerous for me. Like don't get more than 15 feet away from the restroom kind of dangerous. Like maybe I need to have a spare set of jeans in my car at all times just in case dangerous. Now think about what you eat on any given day and which of those foods are LOW FAT. Hah. Not as many as you probably think.

After a recent unpleasant incident involving a Bloomin' Onion, I have pretty much gained self control in the fried foods category. However, desserts still taunt me. Last night with a yearning for something sweet, I did a drive by on Central Market. I got a fairly small piece of cake that I thought I could cut into two pieces and have dessert for two nights. How economical. However, as I started to eat it, I just kept thinking how good it was, and maybe I could eat a little more. Oh, yes, I did. I ate the whole piece . . .less than an hour later . . .cramps and rush to the bathroom. sigh.

Today? One of the few things our school cafeteria makes especially well would be vanilla cake. Yummy, moist, spongy, delicious cake. Didn't even eat it all, but, yes, my stomach hurts. I'm going to learn self-control here too. No, I'm not a quick learner. Yes, I probably should be in God's special ed corner of slow learners, but I will learn, so help me, I WILL LEARN!!!

Area 3: I'm not sure how focused on this area God is, but I thought I would add it since it does fall under the heading of self-control. I need to remember to keep the voice inside my head . . .well, INSIDE OF MY HEAD. No need to say everything I am thinking aloud. No need to include people on my humorous and, quite frankly often insightful, little quips. They can stay in my head. Nothing in particular is making me add this, just a general sense of growing up and learning self-control would probably include this too.

So, there you have it. Blog post #2 for April and profound thoughts from yours truly.

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