Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Dating is . . .

a lot like buying a house. Let's be honest, when talking about making the biggest investment of a lifetime choosing the person you're going to spend the next 50 years with is quite the investment.

The search: The internet has changed both experiences, for better or for worse. I have purchase homes and found dates with and without the internet. I'm not sure that it makes much difference, except the internet does increase the numbers. Flipping through page after page of options. Determining my parameters as I realize what I do and do not want. Thinking about what I consider to be the most important criteria.

Assistance: Some people like to hire a professional to help in the search. There is a lot to be said for this methodology. I happen to be in the small circle of people who have been dumped by my real estate professional. She was very nice about it, but she did kindly inform me that it might be better if we went our separate ways.

I'm a pain. I know that. I look at men, quite frankly, the same way I look at houses. I'm not taking the first one I see. And I'm unwilling to drop my standards just because it has taken a long time, I've seen a gazillion houses and none of them have been quite right yet. And, I'm not looking for perfection (in homes or men). When I finally make my choice, I have been very, very pleased (at least in homes.)

There are a lot of mistakes that can be made. Lots of times we think we can make our own decision without aid from friends or family. I'm not saying you should do what they say, but they love us, and really do help us see through our new found love and see the home for what it is, warts and all. No one wants to see the list of issues and concerns with the house we want to own, but it is far better to have the list and look at it objectively than to go in blind.

Some people are so confident in their choice that they have a very short option period before they are locked into the deal. I think that is a mistake. No need to rush these things. People should take their time.

Sometimes we get the list of problems from the inspector, but we have decided that we want the house soooo badly, that we are going to ignore the list. Maybe we think we'll fix all the problems ourselves or we are afraid if we present them to the seller they won't be willing to fix the problems, and then what will we do?

I love the idea of renting with an option to own. My parents sold the house in which I grew up by renting it with an option to own. What a great idea. Sure when you first see a house you think it is great, but it is only after living in it and getting to know the ins and outs of the house that you really know if you want to live in it for ever.

So, my option periods have been fairly short so far because I've walked away from many a house, but I have high hopes that I might get a long term lease, and then, eventually buy. . . maybe.


  1. Lovely post, my dating partner in crime. I'm really enjoying our blog circle of 2.

    Also ... I'm trying to schedule a trip to Dallas ... wanna grab a margarita?

  2. Hell, yes!! I bet we can get my friend, Daisy, and, of course, you gotta wonder! I am so excited!

  3. Let me know when! I'm "in!"

    And - I love the comparison of homes and marriage. Homes are about as easy to fix up as men are. Basically, you can dress 'em up but don't expect miraculous structural changes. You'd better love what you're buying and be willing to live with the flaws.