Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Feeling Weird

As always, I have an inordinate amount of work to do. Yet, I sit here with my desk pretty much cleaned off staring at my computer. So, I figured what the hell, might as well write.

Only I'm not sure of what I want to write. I think I have heart burn. My life is giving me heart burn.

Thanksgiving is approaching, so everyone is asking what I'm doing. Nothing is the answer. Am I seeing my parents? Doubt it. They haven't talked to me in about two months. When I called them last. To ask a question about meat. And then I got off the phone before my mother could say something condescending. Usually along the lines of "You don't have enough money to buy meat. You should pay off your bills first." Or something else equally insulting.

It feels weird. I admit it. On the other hand, it is impressive the way she can take any topic and make it be about money and my being an idiot. It's a talent really.

It's a little weird the way people get freaky about the fact I'm not doing anything for Thanksgiving. Makes me feel like a loser, which I don't feel like in and of the fact I'm not doing anything. I'm ok with it, but it seems to upset others. Kind of the way most of my life goes now that I think about it.

In the meantime, I have piled on the projects that all require immediate attention, and as it turns out skills with Adobe Indesign I don't quite possess. So, I am watching a ton of videos all day and reading my books ordered from Amazon in an effort to figure out HOW to do all of these various things.

In other news, my yard is a full out leaf zone. Needs to be raked desperately. I raked for about an hour yesterday, got 6 bags of leaves covering maybe 1/4 of the front yard and then showered and took Benadryl in an effort to stave off the allergies and sneezing that follow on the heels of yard work EVERY STINKING TIME.

So, I'm still sitting here. Thinking about everything I need to do. Not wanting to do any of it. Feeling guilty for not doing it, but knowing. Today? Nothing else is getting done. I've now moved on to watch Elementary on the computer.

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