I'm contemplating this comment as I prepare to write about today. Our last day on the family vaca. Where shall I begin . . .
We have been talking off and on all week about going horseback riding. Katherine, Cassie and Lydia had all said that they wanted to go. We called yesterday a couple of times but were never able to reach anyone. Some of the group (most of the adults) were going to go to some cheesy museum and shop in the cherokee indian shop. Some of the group (most of the kids, Dad and David) were going tubing on the river. (By river, I really mean something that once was river like but is now mostly rock with a thin layer of water.)
This morning Katherine managed to get someone, found out that we could have a 12:00pm appt for a 2 hour horse ride and hung up. We'd had such a hard time reaching them in the first place that it hardly seemed worth it to call back and confirm that 1. since they are under sixteen does it have to be their parents to sign permission for them to ride? 2. confirm the location 3. find out if there is anything specific that we needed to wear etc. 4. confirm that they take credit cards. (Do you already have a sense that there are several ways for this to go wrong?)
So, we head out. We get there (so we think) but don't see a sign or anything like that. We call. Luckily we get through. The guy tells us that we are at his house. (expletives deleted) He tells us that it is about 20 minutes away, and we'll probably be late and most likely only be able to ride for an hour.
So, we go back out onto 19 then back to 74 past the hwy that leads to the lodge another 1/2 mile. We pass it. Turn around go back. Turn in to an area when we see a sign about horseback riding, but are there a lot of signs that clearly direct us back through the woods to the place where the actual stable is? Hell no. So we putz around a little more, ask a guy for directions and finally get there. We are only 10 minutes late. On the up side the guy is impressed with our time. Does he take credit cards? No. However, he is very nice and says after we ride I can go back up to the main lobby of the resort (they use that term loosely) and pay there and bring him the receipt back.
Within five minutes of being on the horse I think to myself that a 2 hour horse ride is about 1 1/2 hrs too long. sigh. Katherine and Lydia had never ridden before so I think that they really enjoyed the ride. Cassy and I had ridden enough that we were a wee bit bored, but it was a lovely ride. I was on Pearl. A lovely horse with no interest in trotting. So, every once in a while the guide would pick up the pace. All the horses would pick it up except Pearl who obviously felt it was a waste of her effort if it was anything less than a gallop.
Our two hours ended and then we headed out to meet up with the group that went tubing down the river. We stop, rent our tubes ($3.00 pop, total power buy) toss them on top of the car (it is impressive, we saw one car go down the road with 6 tubes on top. I have no idea of why they don't fall off) and we head down the road.
We arrive at the park and see David by the car, so we pull up beside him. Dad is sitting in the front seat of the mini-van, and he does not look well. He looked 10 years older. I don't know what happened, the river was really low, so if you weigh more than 120lbs, half your time is spent trying to dislodge the tube from the rocks. So, Dad spent quite a bit of time dislodging his tube, when he got off the river, he immediately got sick.
The girls had gone to change clothes, so I left their tubes with David, grabbed mine, tossed it back on the car and got Dad. I dropped by tube back where we got it and took Dad home.
By the time I got back to the river, (almost an hour later, these places are not close) David and the kids had gone back up the river to tube down. So, I hung out there for a while, before I saw David returning to the car because he had a business call he had to take. So I headed up to check on the kids. I had a suit, but it was in the bag that had been with the girls, I could have grabbed it, but I figured it would take too long.
It's about a mile from the car to the place where they put the tubes in the water. I saw them in the water about half way down and walked then rest of the way, and then walked with them back up. Then walked with them down. Then walked with them up. Then walked with them down. David meets up with us at this point and we all trek to the top for a final run. I walk down. We get the tubes and start walking to the cars when I realize. . . I DON'T HAVE THE CAR KEYS. I'm sure you hear the panic in my voice.
Me" OH MY GOD"
David "What's wrong?"
Me "OH CRAP"
David "What's wrong?"
Me "The car keys"
David "What about them"
Me "I don't have them"
David "To the car"
Me "Yup, to the car"
David "Do you need to go back to the top and look for them?"
Me "I don't think so"
David"Why not?"
Me "Because I don't think they are there" "Oh crap, I better go up"
So I head back up searching, searching, searching. No keys. I get about half way back down when my phone lets me know that I have a couple of messages. I check them. One is from the travel agent I use for all of my school stuff (I don't even think they made this reservation) they let me know that they gave Hertz my cell phone number. The second call is from Hertz giving me Joe's number who has my keys. (I hear singing in the background, hallelujah chorus I believe) I call Joe. But Joe does not have my keys. Joe's wife has my keys. She set off up the path quite some time ago. She's in pink and very short. He also tells me that the keys were found by someone who hung them in a tree. Someone else saw that and thought that was a poor idea (No kidding especially since my eyes had been glued to the ground, it never occurred to me to look up for them.). They took the keys and headed to the parking lot. In the parking lot they met up with Joe and his wife who were parked by my car and had a cell phone. So, Joe called etc.
Cassy and Katherine met up with me on the path. I knew that if I didn't get some water I was going to pass out and/or start barfing. So I head to David's car on the way to my car (apparently he moved his car after his phone call to be closer to the river.) Katherine and Cassy say that they are going to keeping heading to my car, I say that I'll meet them there. I grab a water. David is surrounded by 42 tubes. Ok, not that many, but a lot. I get Lydia who is ready to put shorts on and screech at her that she can do that later. We grab her tube and the 2 tubes of Katherine and Cassy and head towards my car.
Had a camera been on my face at this point, I would be getting a million hits a minute on YouTube. I arrive at the parking lot with Lydia and come to a dead halt.
Lydia "What"
Me "The cars gone"
Lydia "Are you sure?"
Me "Yes"
Lydia "Is that it?"
Me "Holy Crap no, the car is gone."
Lydia says this conversation took all of 30 seconds. I think it lasted a hell of a lot longer than that before we look up at the road to see Katherine and Cassie in the car driving towards David's car. (Expletives) "Stop the freaking car" or words to that effect. They are now stopped on a two lane road (without a lot of shoulder). I mention to them that I was looking for the car to be where I left it, it was illegal for them to be driving it etc etc. Screeching ensues. Andrew and Travis are in the back. I boot them out and send them walking towards David's car. I screech at the girls to get the tubes on the car and their butts in the car. We head towards the next parking lot so that I can turn around. We pass David. He picks up the boys.
As we are heading back, I see that I have a missed call. I say the number out loud. Katherine says that she thinks it is the cabin. I call it. It is Joe. Sooooooo I say thank you again. As I am thanking him we come around a corner just as a stray dog is coming around the corner from the other direction. I almost wreck the car. Hang up with Joe.
We, thank you, Lord, make it back to the cabin without further incident. I mix a stiff drink, and then we have dinner.
Now, which of you is NOT thinking this is totally typical of how my world works??? I almost had a cornary. A couple of times. Crikey.
At any rate, I knew I had to get this on the blog before I forgot. Too good to not post. Now everyone is playing dictionary. It is a painful game that someone in this family made up. Someone reads a word from the dictionary, everyone then tries to write what they think it means and whoever gets closest wins. Luckily I made another drink, so I think I'm ready to play. shoot me.
I leave for the airport at 7:00am in the morning. More later.
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