6 days with children is 3 days too long

10 ways I know this to be true in no particular order.

1. One of the girls shuffles her feet everywhere she goes. It is making me insane. I want to find it cute, but it's not. I'm thinking of taking a club to the back of her knees. At least she would stop shuffling.

2. One out of every three thoughts they have involve my loss of IQ points for having heard the comment. Seriously they do not think (i.e. one of the girls has a huge problem with the spread, corrupt or something. She tells me that she isn’t going to mess with it anymore just wait till she gets home. Hmmm, I ask her very patiently, “Do you think you have a better chance of solving the problem when you get back to Dallas and I’m not there, or now while I am here?”) Oh grasshopper, you not so smart are you? I can't afford to lose this many IQ points at one hit.

3. My favorite comment was that one of the girls got ADD from driving her car. I'm sorry what? Do you see what I mean about the IQ points. . .

4. It is Shark week on the discovery channel. Still with all the knowledge I have gained about sharks in the last couple of days, I would rather swim with sharks than deal with the yearbook anymore.

5. There is crap everywhere in the hotel room. I want to set fire to it all.

6. Every time we go anywhere they are approximately 5 paces behind me. The amount increases as the distance we walk increases. I have never seen people NOT geriatrics walk so slowly. Tried to find this cute or charming. No just really, really annoying.

7. One of the girls text msgs people all of the time. She walks EVEN SLOWER when texting.

8. I got stopped by a policeman for making a left turn from a lane that was supposed to go straight. I turned right in front of him. I deserved a ticket. He didn't give me one because he is very nice and his brother-in-law recently moved to Forney. I shouldn't push my luck by driving any more in this town. I should leave RIGHT NOW!

9. We've just added 4 pages to the opening of the book. That means that all of our page numbers are wrong. Does that sound stressful? It is. Please refer back to 4.

10. When I look at their cute little faces I want to squish them like bugs. Breath. Breath. Breath. Beeeeeee caaaalllllmmmm. Beeeeeeee caaaalllllmmmm.