Friday, January 15, 2010

Feeling a wager coming on . . . ,

So, things are progressing nicely with Mr. Potential. He kicks ass. We are 3 weeks in and things are quite delightful. He's out of town for the next week, so I am feeling very confident that I can make a month. But let's be honest, long term relationships are not exactly my strong suit. And by long term I mean more than a couple of weeks, so clearly, we are all thinking that I should screw this up some time soon. Of course, Valentine's Day and my bday are coming up, so I'm totally going to be on my best behavior for the next couple of weeks. On the other hand, once I get the itch to run, I tend to run no matter what's coming up. Lord knows there are many avenues by which this could go up in flames. So, since I know you are already trying to figure out how this is going to crash and burn, here are the best bets in no particular order.

1. Sabrina and Buddy. He has met them, but they have not spent time together. As in, "Yes, those are big badly behaved dogs, now let's go to dinner." Although I have already put it out there that if the dogs are a deal breaker, he should tell me now rather than later because we are, as they say, a package deal, he says he doesn't think that they are that bad. HA. Perhaps I need to arrange a little quality time for them to be together.

2. Weird things don't happen to him. And I, as you know, am not normal. Most of my life is lived in chaos. Somewhat controlled chaos, but still chaos. Things go wrong. Often. Yesterday, I looked down and realized I was wearing navy hose. . . with a black skirt. The black skirt it turns out was missing a button, so that meant that the zipper kept falling down. (I actually can't swear to that corollary, but it's my blog, so that's my story.) I'm pretty sure these types of things don't happen to him. Well, sure, partly because I'm hoping he refrains from wearing hose and skirts, but also because I just don't think these things happen to him.

Earlier this week I arrived at school and started spazzing. I was missing my keys to the building and a deposit bag full of money. I was FREAKING. By the middle of the day we had found the bag of money (sitting by a computer, but I am telling you I didn't move it, damn thing grew legs and walked.) One of the editors thought it would be in the pocket of the coat I had worn the day before. I was so freaked I sent another editor to check. Sure enough, they were there. (The editor that went to the house went ahead and picked up the knife the dogs were eating and put it on the counter.) When I got home that afternoon I realized that she hadn't given me my keys back. Sigh. That was a whole nother messaroonie.)

3. He is neat and orderly. His house (did I mention how cute his house is? He had it built, and he has taste!) is clean. Always. Everything has a place. My house? Not so much. I'm pretty certain if he spent any length of time at my house he would break out in hives. Of course, I don't want to spend any time at my house currently because it is FREEZING since I can't actually afford heat. He can afford heat. Which of course leads me to

4. He has money. As in, he knows how to count and he saves money and spends wisely. As in he will probably flip his shit when he realizes he is dating a total numnut with no ability to count and a nice little debt she'll be paying off for quite some time.

5. He is a rational, concrete, sequential, logical guy. I, as you know, am not. See 2. Weird stuff happens to me. Rational, concrete, sequential, logical guys don't tend to know what to do with a girl that has such weird shit happen all. the. time.

6. He is totally gregarious and enjoys people. I have discovered that as the years go by, I don't like people. They annoy the hell out of me. On the up side, this allows me to primarily sit quietly and allow the noise and voices to flow around me without actually contributing that much, but long term, could be a train wreck. He likes everyone. Everyone likes him. He might actually want someone who is a little more chatty Cathy with strangers and such. I just don't have that kind of energy anymore.

7. Freaky Diva raises her head and I spaz about something totally stupid and minor and walk away (scratch that RUN) so that I don't get my heart crushed later. . . yeah, this one has my money.


  1. I triple dog dare you to believe that you are worthy of this guy.....

  2. I agree with Anonymous.

    You just gave a list of bullshit reasons why Mr. Potential will end up not wanting to be with you. How about admitting the much-longer list of reasons why you kick ass and he is dying to get to know you better?