Saturday, June 27, 2009

What not to Wear Europe Edition III

So many from which to choose . . . ok, let's begin.

Don't wear small bikini tops riding your bike unless you have a smoking hot bod. I'm not saying you can't have a bikini top, but when I first saw this woman I thought she was topless which almost caused me swallow my gum. That can be dangerous. So, for the unprepared. You shouldn't do that.

Next, it is no longer the 80's. Therefore, in any country, allowing your child to have a MULLET with a rats tail is CHILD ABUSE!Again with the lace, but with the red shoes. Not ok. Not attractive. Oh, and her pants were too tight. Geez.Ah, yes, the fabulous pantyhose with espadrilles. I'm telling you we were hauling ass through Rome trying to get to our meeting point on time when I saw this. I was yanking my camera out, trying to get it in focus and trying to watch where we were going. Sorry it is such a bad photo, but trust me when I tell you, it was not pretty. Please don't do this. Even when you are 90 which this girl was NOT.

I understand that some people really think it is important for everything to match. I get that. In fact, I might even fall into that category. I have a hard time with the purse not needing to match the shoes anymore, but if Clinton and Stacy (What not to Wear hosts) say it is so, then I must believe. Someone needs to get the memo to this woman. Hey, lady, your hair doesn't have to match your outfit every time any more.

Black satin during the day. That's a no ghost rider. Again with the caveat, unless you are a HOOKER. Then more power to you.
The man capri's. We saw these things in varying lengths and styles throughout our trip. I'm telling you here and now, not ok. No way. No how. Tell friends and family. Don't let this fashion style cross the pond. I'd rather see a man with a murse (man purse). I almost feel badly for this woman. The pants fit. The top looked ok. But Holy Crap people. Look at those things. Besides the fact she looks like she's wearing her pjs around Madrid, that pattern should not see the light of day. Ever. I saved the best for last. I have heard the lament of days gone by and a time when people dressed up to get on planes. The thought of dressing up for an 11 hr flight makes my teeth hurt, but this, this is beyond all understanding. She looks miserable. She looks like she just got in from the club. She appeared to be a chaperone for a group youth trip. I'm sorry what????? Part of me wishes I was on her flight just so I could walk by and try to get pictures of her sitting on the plane in that getup. Even hookers shouldn't dress like this on airplanes.

No comments:

Post a Comment