I brushed my teeth. But literally, that is all I did. Cargo pants, blue fleece COVERED in dog fur and hair pointed in 42 different directions. No make-up. None. Nada. 41 years of living, with no pretense of looking pretty.
I realize as I approached the terminal that I was holding a first class ticket. Haha I thought, I should scare the rest of the 1st class passengers.
As I approached my seat, my eyes set on the hottest guy I had seen in a very, very long time. Dark, short military haircut. Did I mention hot? He was on the phone so I consoled myself with the notion that he was probably married.
Within minutes we were talking. Not married, two boys. yada yada. It was great. We talked the whole time. He was invested in being a dad. It made me think of my cousin GK who I very much admire because of his commitment to being a dad. I was also impressed that he didn't bash his wife, and he said the divorce was his choice. He was thoughtful, funny, intelligent. I practically swooned.
Towards the end of the flight he gave me a napkin which I promptly started to crumple up to throw out. He looked horrified. He written his information down.
He asked me out for that night, but I told him I couldn't. I was visiting my BFF and it wouldn't be right etc.
At almost the very end of the flight he said he had to tell me something. He was actually an Air Marshall. Put my hand on his gun (don't be dirty, his real gun) so I would know he was legit. And, it's true it would be like saying he's in the CIA. I would never have believed him if he hadn't had a gun on the plane.
He walked me to the curb after getting my luggage (the largest bag ever which I was testing out for my Europe trip but I was totally embarrassed to have it for a 5 day trip.) I was so enraptured with him that I didn't see the BFF pull up, call or yell for me. The third time she called I finally heard it.
I got in her car and told her about my lovely seat companion. Afterwards, she looked at me in horror and said, "You turned down a date with a hot Air Marshall so you could watch a 13 year old at rugby practice, WHY?"
Well, sure if you are going to put it that way, it sounds a little crazy.
That night, with nothing to wear (so all borrowed clothes for me. Let's face it, most trips to visit the BFF do NOT involve dress up occasions.) I did the best I could, put on a little make-up, curled my hair and traipsed off for my date.
It was wonderful. He was impressed that I cleaned up so nicely : ). We ended up going to Chili's. I had told him during the flight about my gastro-intestinal issues courtesy of not having a gall bladder. So as we looked at the menu, he told me if I didn't see anything else, we could find another place. I was really impressed that he'd remembered and that he said that.
We went back to his hotel, and yes, we made out, but that was it. He walked me back to the train station.
We talked practically every day after that. Texted, emailed etc. We didn't see each other again until the end of May...In fact by the beginning of December when I flew to Milwalkee for our date...it was only our 6th date.
It didn't really matter though. He got me. I'm not sure how he meant it but occasionally he would tell me that there were things he really didn't like but he loved me. And I would much rather have him recognize my faults and love me despite them than to tell me that I'm perfect.
Back to the story. After seeing each other in December he had the birthday present I had given him (Book of stick figure pictures explaining why I loved him and the magazine I made for him of articles I'd found and love notes from me.) He was trying to find a place to put them since he hadn't told his kids I existed yet. Unfortunately while he was hunting for a place, they came home and found the presents.
Things fell apart from there. He wasn't calling as much, he wasn't talking to me, and I was mad and hurt. I did think he wanted to be able to tell his kids he wasn't dating anyone, but to be honest, I know that wasn't the only reason I called and broke up with him.
We talked a couple of days before New Year's Eve and then nothing. I sent an email, then a voice message, then another email, then another voice message. But if he wasn't going to talk to me, there wasn't anything I could do. I deleted him from my phone (let's admit it, I get drunk easily and I'm a dialer...best for everyone if I couldn't drink and dial.)
Today, he sent a text "At your convenience call me when you have a minute." Well, I was pretty sure it was him, didn't have his number in phone any more, but I felt my heart skip a beat, so I called him back.
It was a bit of a strange conversation. I am so damn grateful that he called and told me what was going on. No, things aren't better. Yes, he was calling to tell me he was still falling apart, but he was getting help. Somewhere in the middle he told me that when he met me he knew I was who he had been waiting for, but he couldn't ask me to wait for him because he didn't know what would happen next. So, 16 minutes later, we were off the phone.
And that's ok. I'm going to keep him in prayers. I'm going to live my life, and God willing, in the end, maybe we will end up together. Right now, that's my fervent hope. I love him. I know his short comings, and they don't matter. He knows mine, and he loves me anyway. Pretty good basis for a lasting relationship if you ask me.
Now, if we can just get his kids on board, and his brain in a good place...
No comments:
Post a Comment