I'm raising a 15lb terrorist

It's embarrassing. Either of the other dogs could sit on her, but we are all terrorized but the little rat. She looks pretty cute, doesn't she? She is snuggly, she is quite sweet when she wants to be.... she is also an utter hellion when she is full out barking without giving any indication of what it is she wants. 

Side note, I will say I think Dixie starts growling/barking at Gracie as much as Gracie tries to start stuff with Dixie. Of course Dixie is trying to warn Gracie away. Gracie sees it as a line in the sand she clearly needs to cross to show she is not scared. 

I have been diligently putting them both in their kennels when they start yelling at each other. It's quite tiresome.  They spend a lot of time in their kennels... 

End of Day 7

First and foremost, I am TIRED people. We have hauled our asses through Italy...and tomorrow at the ass crack of dawn we will be getting up to head to the airport and Paris. But we won't be staying in Paris, oh no. We will be getting on a bus and riding for God knows how long out to the beaches of Dday. As I told the girls, these are not your laying on towels staring at others kind of beaches...these are the sharp jagged how did anyone survive Dday beaches.

I'm sad to be leaving Venice, because I quite love Venice...but I have to admit, I'm starting to think about Mexican food a lot and I really MISS MY DOGS. I kept asking the dog sitter to send photos... I don't know if she thought I was kidding or what... Not kidding. FINALLY she sent me my proof of life photos...

I realize it is hard to tell in these photos...but they miss me terribly. Clearly, broken up over my absence! 

We started realizing we were getting bit by mosquitos or something in Florence...it has continued in Venice. Most unpleasant.

When I get home I have lots of photos I'll be posting with stories..if I can remember them.

I'm having a terrible time tryinig to blog. I can't get pictures to upload for diddly, my eyes are burning all of the time and I am feeling very old...5 days of being coherent left...then on a plane.

Tues: 7:20pm

Holy crap am I tired. We traveled Sunday to Monday ... arriving in Rome after noon. The kids were troopers. I took a poll, and only one said she slept at all. The rest of us appeared to be awake for most of the first flight for sure.

I saw Argo, "Aw go fuck yourself" inappropriate but funny.

Bruce Willis hard day to die? very funny... I love a good bang bang shoot em up...

Silver lining playbook...really enjoyed it.

At any rate, we walked, and walked and walked yesterday. By Amsterdam we had a nose bleed, a barfer and a lot of exhastion... by Rome we were just moving... we saw the Coliseum and went to dinner. No one face planted in their pizza. We put that in the win column.

Today we went to the Vatican... loved it as always, but there was no time for the Vatican store which upset me. I like to get a cross each year... call it hedging my bets...

had lunch then I took a group shopping.. .yes, I got a couple of things. Couldn't help myself.

Now sitting at a cafe with Christal...sooooo glad she is the 3rd chaperone... and drining a Vodka Limone Scheppes...LOVE IT.

Dinner not tell after 8pm I may die.

Leaving in a couple of hours

School was out last Friday, but I've been working with next year's editors all week. I think they are pretty well on top of things, so that is good. I've been on the interview committee for the new video tech teacher which has been an interesting endeavor. One of the interviews was honestly one of the longest 45 minute periods of my life. Torture.

I've been sick for over two weeks. I finally caved and went to primacare Thursday evening. Verdict: Bronchitis. Atleast I have some good meds now.

I didn't start laundry until Friday night, and I hadn't packed diddly up to that point either. I spent all of yesterday packing and cleaning. I hardly slept last night and woke at about 5am. I continued cleaning this morning. I think I can say, this house is the cleanest it has ever been. I'm very impressed with myself. Of course if the dog watcher shows up more than 30 minutes after I leave there is NO TELLING how horrify it might be. Damn dogs.

I'll be blogging the trip inappropriately here (haha) and for the parents at perkinshphs.wordpress.com...

Vulnerability

I was reading an article in O Magazine recently about Brene Brown a University of Houston professor.

She wrote a book. In it she wrote, "If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path." I love profound thoughts. I love thinking about them, trying to wrap my brain around them, and contemplating the truth found within them. This qualifies.

Vulnerability is such a scary concept. To open oneself up to someone else and give them the opportunity to hurt us doesn't seem like it would be a good idea in and of itself. However, to grow closer to another person, to truly learn more about that person and to recipricate requires vulnerability.

In fact, I think that when we have relationships and we refuse to be vulnerable with each other, we either force the relationship into stagnation, or, if we are vulnerable and then regress, we run the chance of the relationship dying. Vulnerability can be the oxygen that feeds the fire of the relatioship or when denied, the lack of it kills the relationship.

Just saw a movie preview that says "Fear is a choice." Seems to go right with the idea of vulnerability. Maybe succumbing to fear is a choice. Bravery is facing ones fear. Bravery in the face of danger, bravery in the face of vulnerability. It takes bravery to be willing to be vulnerable. To let others know how we are feeling. To give others the opportunity to hurt us emotionally. To be willing to face oneself and ones insecurities and inadequacies is quite scary.

I have always loved self-analysis. Thinking about why I do things and thinking about the characteristics that hold me in good stead, and those that cause me any problems. Of course with that I also love to think about others and why they do things that they do. Of course, they don't always appreciate my desire to analyze them.

In the article, Brown referenced Theodore Roosevelt who said, "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could ahve done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs (And) if he fails at least fails while daring greatly."

Which seems to imply a different type of vulnerability. The vulnerability of action. At school some of us have a joke about the wisdom of those that stay in their foxholes. By not poking their heads out, they reduce the opportunities to get in trouble.  It means that a small number of people end up doing most of the work (sponsoring organizations, taking on outside duties etc) because most people are busy NOT putting themselves out there.

I like the idea that I am in the arena. My face is marred by dust and sweat and blood. I do strive valiantly. I face my fears, I choose bravery and if I fail, at least I put myself out there. I am willing to be vulnerable with the people closest to me and I am willing to put myself out there in the world in front of others. Doing things.

Gotta love them where they are

A friend of mine recently gave me this sage advice. I can't remember what I was kvetching about, but that was her response.

I realized later that it was a pretty good philosphy for me to follow across the board.

I'm thinking about all of the times I get frustrated with people and/or annoyed, and I realize often it is when people don't do things the way I would do them or respond to things in ways I think they should.

Certainly my parents have puzzled me for quite some time. Instead of constantly being annoyed about their unwillingness to talk about things that have happened or frustrated by the way they do things, I just need to love them where they are.

We're all in different places in our own journeys through life.  If I can remember to just let go and love people where they are, maybe I'll be less fraught with tension. We'll see.

Quick Trip to San Francisco

Can't remember if I wrote about our journalism website which currently sucks. As does the iphone app. Mostly, to be honest, I blame the newspaper staff because they said they would take it over and be in charge. They took it over, but now it sucks. So, I've been working for months on what we need to improve it in general, to recreate the iphone app so it looks better and does what we want it to do and how to organize the staffs to make the whole thing function better.

Needless to say, I have been learning a lot. My brain, in general these days, hurts. I asked the principal if he would let me attend the spring national journalism convention to attend sessions and hopefully track people down who can help us. He said yes. Sadly, didn't work out as well as I might have hoped.

I had started feeling under the weather last Monday. By Thursday morning, things weren't looking all that great for me. I stopped off at Minute Clinic on the way to the airport to ask for anything they could give me to stave off the illness headed my way. Of course they said it was a cold and there wasn't jack diddly I could do. Fan freaking tastic.

By the time I arrived in San Francisco the mad blowing of my nose and throat itch were in full swing. My cousin GK picked me up (did I forget to mention the marvelous side piece was that I would get to see my cousin?) We picked up his fiancee and went to dinner. She chose a restaurant that is right on the water. It was AMAZING. So beautiful. We had a great time, and then they dropped me off at my hotel.

Friday was a misery. I went to sessions, but could feel myself getting sicker and sicker. I felt terrible for anyone who sat near me...they were in the path of disaster. I was a walking petrie dish of illness.

Friday afternoon I laid down in the hotel and pretty much didn't get up until Saturday morning. I went to a couple more sessions and then my cousin picked me up. He had talked to me Friday about checking out of the hotel early so that I could go to their house and be taken care of. THAT is love I tell you. So, we headed out to their house on the other side of the mountain in a town called Lafayette. (Side note: his ex lives in Lafayette... Louisiana.)

It was really lovely. Despite feeling miserably ill for most of the trip, I did get good information and I got to hang with my cousin. I'm crazy about his fiance and her kids. I can't wait for them to be official members of the family.