Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Humility lessons are hateful

Interesting how the universe can conspire to teach you the lessons that God wants you to learn. I think God has been talking to me for several weeks now, but I haven't been listening very carefully. Today, he wacked me on the head. Fine. You have my attention.

Recently my sis posted about having to learn humility lessons for herself. I thought at the time, yes, those are hard. I have gotten full of myself from time to time too.

Recently a jogger was killed on the Katy Trail by a bicyclist traveling past her. She turned to go back, and he/she was going too fast? too close? whatever and hit her. A lot of the news stories talked about how she had headphones on. All I could think was what if she didn't, but tripped, would it have been more of the bicyclist's responsibility? And then I thought about how self-righteous so many of our neighborly bicyclists are and that being self-righteous only leads to trouble. Hard to reason with the self-righteous.

Recently, you might remember I started having trouble with my dog hating neighbor again. I have been feeling pretty indignant about the whole thing. In the meantime, some stuff happened at school. I realized a parallel for me is that the morning I let the dogs out at 10:30 because Sabrina had made a mess in the kitchen; I had a choice. I could have left her in the kitchen. Sure it would have been a mess, and I would have been cleaning both dogs, but they wouldn't have been outside to bark. I knew I was being naughty (taking a chance etc), but I did it anyway. I need to accept the part I played in everything that has happened since. I can be self-righteous about the why I let them out or the how infrequently I let them out early or my rights as a citizen, but in the end, I took a chance that they would behave and there wouldn't be a problem, and, well, I crapped out (no pun intended. Oh, who am I kidding? Pun totally intended)

Recently, there were some issues with twitter and students starting anonymous accounts to post mean stuff about other people. There was a comment in a post that indicated a student was on the yearbook staff. I told my students that the yearbook person needed to come forth and speak to me about it. No one did. So much for my influence and teaching them the importance of being honest about having made mistakes.

Oh, and the school issue? A little confusing, but let me see if I can sum it up. DELETED COURTESY OF CENSORSHIP I SUPPOSE. (OK, to put back- an organization at the school wanted to participate in a "senior only" thing at school that their sponsor told them not to do. They started to do it anyway, she told them again, then again. the long and the short of it is that they disobeyed their sponsor. I think they knew they were being naughty, and they didn't think they would get in trouble. But they did, and they were PISSED about having the book thrown at them by their sponsor. And, that again the lesson of taking responsibility for oneself has been lost.

So, I'm in a funk. I am not loving my job right now. I am disappointed in myself for getting such a big head when I very clearly shouldn't, and I am trying to focus on my new behavior plan.

I made a list of Rules to Work by to remind myself of my place in this little world. It might be overkill, but I think I need to keep my mouth shut and lay low for a good long while. I'm tired of finding myself looking like an idiot in front of the principal.

1. Keep your opinions to yourself.

2. "You might be right" is a magical phrase. (Learned this one from BFF. Great way to end a conversation that is going nowhere quickly.)

3. Document, document, document. I happen to be dealing with a highly litigious portion of society. Probably a good idea to keep good records.

4. It's not your business, so don't ask questions. (Maybe if I wouldn't be such a nosy Nelly I wouldn't feel a need to then share my opinions.)

5. Tell the truth, but remember everyone lies. Got this one from House. It's true.

6. If you make a mistake, admit it. Immediately. I already do this one, but it is a good one to remember anyway.

7. Be mindful of whom you trust. Goes along with the others. I need to keep my mouth shut. Everyone doesn't have my best interests at heart. Most have their own.

8. Be calm. Make your point; then shut up. I talk too much and I know it. I don't need to beat a point in the ground or raise my voice to make a point. State what my expectation is and end the discussion.

9. Keep your head down and get your work done. It's called flying under the radar. Try it.

10. Remember there is always someone looking for an opportunity to get you in trouble. Do NOT give it to them. (Got this one just yesterday from another teacher. She said that she always tries to remember that no matter how much she thinks her kids love her, there is always one that doesn't and will tell their parents if she does something she shouldn't.)

Be grateful you h ave a job. Lots of people don't.

OK, so there they are. I'm going to put them in front of me. I don't think my job is going to be as much fun for a while, and it is really going to be hard to be the professional that could be filmed in the classroom all day, but that is my new goal. I'm on a reality show 24/7 and how will what I do look on TV. YIKES.

1 comment:

  1. Adults are idiots. kids are idiots, too. be nice to everyone, be honest and transparent, and talk to kids about doing the same. Often. Next time you are cleaning up Sabrina's shit, laugh. Because, oh my god, this is the part of your life where you have to clean up shit every day. lol. As they say here on the interwebs, "it gets better". So stick it out, friend.