Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Stalkers have game; and creepy can be helpful.

So, recently I have mocked and belittled my dear sister for her desire to search shit out on the internet. Now, as it turns out, I'm pretty sure she didn't know that I had mocked or belittled her regarding this issue until just now. I now reveal this information because, as always, God has chosen to smite me with my own words. I hate it when He does that.

Recently, I received a note in my mailbox from disgruntled neighbor DogHater regarding, of all things, my dogs and their love of a good bark.

I called DogHater and left a message that I was terribly sorry, but I am working long hours, it really won't be for much longer and there will be no more problems, so sorry, goodbye.

Then I received a second note from DogHater's Roommate. She didn't leave a lot of room for conversation. She said she worked odd hours (I'm going with stripper myself) and she required naps during the day which were being made difficult courtesy of my bad dogs. In fact, it wasn't so much my dogs as my dogs starting shit and going inside to let all the other dogs in the neighborhood bark. Yeah, that sounds like them.

I responded with a I am so sorry. As I said "Blah, blah, blah" I will keep them in until 3 in the afternoon at which point I'm letting 'em out cause we all gotta pee sometime lady.

Last night, DogHater left a message on the school phone (cause I sure as shit am not giving them my cell number). I called back - no answer, so I hung up.

But then, I thought, I'm gonna do a little Googling research on these girls. So, channeling my sister, I got busy. Actually spent a pretty good amount of time looking these girls up. Time, I might add, that really needed to be spent doing things like finishing yearbook pages, proofing the pages that arrived today and determining the freaking yearbook staff for next year. Anywho boy, oh, boy, is there a lot of info on the internet people. Try looking yourself up. I know when DogHater was born, where she went to school, her dad's name, what her jobs have been, where she lives exactly, etc. etc.

That, of course, got me thinking about my own info. Let me tell you, thank the dear Lord there is an actress with my name. Cause you can try to find the Diva, but you'll have to go through 40 or 50 pages of listing and still in the end find very little about me. HA.

So, sure, this is probably information that will do me almost no good. But can you imagine how badly I can freak her out if when we finally talk, I throw out where she went to school, or quote something she wrote in her blog 4 years ago???? Heeby. Jeebys.

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