Thursday, November 5, 2009

So, the untold story unfolds...Part A

*** This story has caused me much angst. Do I make the blog private so that I can write what I want to write or do I leave it public and try to censor myself. A tough call. It's almost impossible to not write about something that is taking up a significant portion of your life. It seems wrong some how. On the other hand, I'm not interested in dealing with the bs drama that comes from someone getting pissed that I'm writing what I think about events in the past. Unfortunately, the person about whom the next two posts are written appears to be just crazy enough that there is no telling what she would do if she saw this. And, since at one point we were friends, she probably knows the blog address. At any rate, as you can tell, I went ahead and wrote. I've tried to go back and delete enough to make it manageable to read and not to horrifyingly full of details. Not sure how successful I was on either point. Feel free to let me know.

Let's just take a moment to laugh at the irony that I have been cursed with annoying team mates ever since I arrived at my current job, but I've been lucky as far as bosses go. So, of course, now that Blondie has arrived, I am in a new department with the Mayor of Meantown. (MMT)

Another irony is that people were concerned that since MMT and I were friends, it would be a problem for her leadership abilities. There are problems, but I assure you that they have nothing to do with our former friendship. In fact, the friendship has been smashed into the dirt.

Within 2 days of school starting, she had become MMT. I mean she is condescending and pissy at every turn. I can't describe it any other way. I was in a car accident before school started, she didn't make any comment. Not are you ok, nothing. She has become one of those people that brooks no discussion and thinks any question is a question of her authority not a question of point. There has been excessive finger snapping (in faces) Thank God, not mine. I might have bitten her finger off. She does have a nasty habit of pointing to each person in the department to force responses.

So let's just sum it up with comments from others.
" Yeah, I don't know what it is but everything you say and do seems to upset her."
"Wow, what just happened? I didn't hear you say anything, and she just attacked you."
"Hey, I overheard the Mayor of Meantown talking to someone downstairs, she seemed to be bashing you without actually using your name."

Getting the picture? So, sure, I've talked to some people trying to figure out what the HELL is going on. At first, people would say, "Oh, just give her a couple of weeks, she'll settle in." They aren't saying that anymore. Now, it's just a lot of head shaking and references to staying low. I'm trying. I really am. Unfortunately she has a nasty habit of calling on each individual person in the department. I can keep my mouth shut, but I can't lie when spoken to directly. It makes it tricky.

At one particular department meeting (and Lord but there are a lot of them) the Mayor jumped down my throat like a deranged postal worker.

So, after THAT particular interaction I finally sent her an email.

Mayor,

I am sorry if I upset you today. I don't know what to say. I don't know what I did to upset you, but I feel like since the first week of school, you have been unhappy with me. I really am too stressed out to be able to have a conversation about this, but I want you to know I support you in being department chair, and our relationship is important to me. I am sorry if my stress comes off as a bad attitude or flippant towards you, it is not. I have too much to do. I understand the broadcasting idea is great for most of the department, it doesn't help me per se, it just adds to my work. I am happy to help Blondie to do whatever she wants to do and I will encourage her to do it. I want to be a team player, I am a team player, but I am having a hard time with people dumping things on me on a daily basis. I'm sure part of the problem is I'm starting to have the feeling that I've done something that causes you to doubt me or my ability to do my job.

Thanks,

The Diva

I would love to write her response, but let me just summerize.
1. She in no way acknowledged that she has been wretched to me.
2. She did however say that gosh, my stress does seem like a bad attitude.
3. She said how stressed she is. Did I mention that she has 4 of 8 periods off each day?
4. She offered to help. Now, multiple people have suggested I take her up on it.
  1. Hmm, should I give her the 8 page form I was asked to re-create in Indesign because education organizations are bass akwards and there is no digital version of the form so that it can be completed on the computer. No, she doesn't know Indesign.
  2. Should I give her the high school directory to do? Wait, no also in Indesign.
  3. Should I get her to help the other schools in the district with their directories? No, she can't do that either.
  4. How about the other requests I get on a daily basis from people needing help on this or that? Random little things that I can do, and I probably am the best person to ask, but I have no time for?
  5. Should she meet with the vendors for me? The photography company? The yearbook company? The supply company?
  6. The ID machine. I hate the ID machine. I should totally give that to her. Then she can make IDs for everybody and their freaking brother all ding dong day long.

Really, what she can do is GET OFF MY ASS. What I really want to do is send her an email : Dear Mayor, just to confirm, my email asked you to get off my ass and your email said ok for a little while, right?

I think you get the drift. Not to be condescending myself. But she doesn't know what busy is. And, sadly, as I try to figure out why she is so crazed, I realize there are a lot of reasons for her to be behaving badly, and odds are good things won't improve anytime soon.

At any rate, she has pretty much left me alone since that exchange. I've watched her treat other people horribly in the meantime.

I finally went to one of the assistant principals that I love. Oz. I know he likes her too. At any rate, I told him I was worried because she was just mean and she was alienating the department. That if I thought it was just me that she was being mean to, I would just suck it up. She is making multiple people miserable, so I felt like something needed to be said. She needs help. He told me I needed to talk to her. I told him I didn't want to talk to her. I felt guilty then agreed to do it. Crap.

In addition, we had a meeting last week about the academic planning guide and journalism courses. Suffice it to say that meeting didn't go very well. The whole conversation went around in circles and no one was listening to what I was saying. I was sick and tired and not in the mood.

I got a note from MMT Thursday evening asking to meet with me this week.I respond, that I actually wanted to meet with her and Oz, so we could do both at the same time.

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