16 hours till the 20th anniversary of my 22nd...

And I'm sitting here transfixed by a desire to sob like a baby. I really thought I was getting better. I was going to pull out of the total and complete funk I have been in since December. Yes, I am running a marathon but the end is in sight.

Sigh. Not so much. First, to be clear. I love my birthday. I know it isn't in vogue at my age to like it so much, but I do. If nothing else, I'm impressed I haven't killed myself in a car accident before now (anyone who has ridden in a car with me can attest to the problems a limited attention span can cause to one's capabilities as a driver.)

So, generally speaking, I am happy weeks before my birthday as I anticipate the fun of being delightfully happy all day long. Presents are lovely, yes. But it is nice to have people be nice all day just cause it's my day.

Inadvertent though it may have been, something about being told to compare myself to my younger version makes me want to weep. I loved younger me. I was confident. I still though I could choose my own destiny etc etc.

I look at myself now and NOTHING has gone the way I thought it would. I am in no way living the life I envisioned for myself. I think I've mostly learned to be happy with who and what I am, but it doesn't mean that I might not have wished things had gone differently.

And, of course, then I get to think about where I am today, literally specifically today.

Living with my parents is exhausting. They are lovely, and I totally appreciate the fact they let me move in with them as I work through this stupid house purchase, but it doesn't mean I have enjoyed living through months of being in a 10x10 room with most of my stuff in storage and unable to find ANYTHING I'm looking to find. I am trying to be respectful of Dad's desire to be the only one to answer the phone and to not be on my phone in the house and to come in a respectful time when I have been out and to do all the other crap you do when living in someone else's house. I'm sure I'm failing at all sorts of stuff and annoying the hell out of them too. But every minute makes me tired. I've gone to bed at 8pm so many times, I think my parents are slightly freaked out.

I am exercising. That is great. But it is an obsession because I can't control anything else in my life. Quite honestly, I hurt most days when I finish and I always dread starting. The kids make me feel guilty for leaving them to go run, and then I'm tired and disgusting but still at work for another hour or two trying to get pages done.

And this is the year that I can't seem to motivate the kids, get them to meet deadlines, etc etc and I have a weird mother trying to get my job (ha, she can have it) and next year I'm responsible for the regular yearbook AND the district 100th anniversary book. I'm certain THAT'S going to go well.

I am buying my 4th home. Great. But I am paying more than I wanted to pay. I'm going to have less money once I buy than I planned on having. And I am without a doubt moving into the most disgusting place I've ever bought. Possibly seen. Seriously dirty and the more I think about it the more I think how much I need to do to be able to fix up the home...with money I don't have.

Oh, and relationships.....hahahahahahaha. To have met a guy that I think is really amazing and fantastic and to now be uncertain about if it will ever work itself out or if I have just been wrong about him and us makes me just a little bit nuts. But on top of everything else? It just all makes me want to weep. Right here. Right now. Non stop. And I can feel the acid in my stomach burning holes through the lining. Super.

A small example

All year I have been dealing with some weird dysfunction in the yearbook room. Here is a small example of what I mean.

Yesterday I said to the senior staff: I must have all of the people pages printed with the correct page numbers by tomorrow morning. Period.

Today: No pages printed. EIC says Oh, I forgot. She gets them printed. Shows me then takes them away??? Leaving an index editor sitting in my office for an hour with nothing to work on.

We have 12 days to finish the yearbook. Completely. Period. This is what I am dealing with.

Dear World,

This week has been a total beating, and it has driven me to Kirby's for another round of filet (yum for steak) and cosmos. (By the way, if Tony, my favorite bartender didn't make them so effin' good, I would not be losing feeling in my cheeks and contemplating the odds of turning into a raging alcoholic.) Of course, if Kirby's didn't provide me with a kickin' kids steak for $10.00 I might not be here so much either.

I really shouldn't complain. Although I have received one email (copied to me but sent to the superintendent and the principal of the high school) that is certifiably crazy, there really have been no complaints.

I responded to the complaint, but I sent it to my friend PR first to approve, yeah,

And although I have to completely empty the yearbook room by Friday, the kids have been great about helping. Today we put the two computers at my desk away. Cool except that it turns out the phone is attached to the computers so now I have no phone in my classroom. Probably a good thing cause it seriously reduces the crazies abilities to harass my ass.

Ok, so we also are having fun and games with co-workers and the remodeling of the TV studio and stuff. One of my favorite people is leaving the school, and, I might add, leaving a vacuum in his place. Blondie is so excited at the idea of teaching video though it's hard for her to control her enthusiasm (She is controlling, but barely, her intense desire to dump the newpaper and just do the video/TV.

In the meantime, we are having a little trouble with the mayor of meantown. It's weird cause it is almost like she wants to jump in and be in charge because she some how fears my being in charge, but I can't really be in charge because I know diddley about video. So, Blondie is in charge, I follow her like a puppy in love. My only contribution is really that I know lots of people and the yearbook has money.

AND what is even better, Blondie and I realized that between all of the accounts, we think we have enough money to get the stuff we want to get before school starts to make sure that all of our programs are ready to go. BAM.

Weird things are also going on with the Europe trip, but I don't dare discuss before the trip for fear of jinxing the whole damn thing.

P.S. So Mike one of the waiters commented on the fact I am blogging. So, Mike, if you really did note the site, I say "hello to you. Welcome to the gawdawfully boring world of your friend the Diva. "

Stalkers have game; and creepy can be helpful.

So, recently I have mocked and belittled my dear sister for her desire to search shit out on the internet. Now, as it turns out, I'm pretty sure she didn't know that I had mocked or belittled her regarding this issue until just now. I now reveal this information because, as always, God has chosen to smite me with my own words. I hate it when He does that.

Recently, I received a note in my mailbox from disgruntled neighbor DogHater regarding, of all things, my dogs and their love of a good bark.

I called DogHater and left a message that I was terribly sorry, but I am working long hours, it really won't be for much longer and there will be no more problems, so sorry, goodbye.

Then I received a second note from DogHater's Roommate. She didn't leave a lot of room for conversation. She said she worked odd hours (I'm going with stripper myself) and she required naps during the day which were being made difficult courtesy of my bad dogs. In fact, it wasn't so much my dogs as my dogs starting shit and going inside to let all the other dogs in the neighborhood bark. Yeah, that sounds like them.

I responded with a I am so sorry. As I said "Blah, blah, blah" I will keep them in until 3 in the afternoon at which point I'm letting 'em out cause we all gotta pee sometime lady.

Last night, DogHater left a message on the school phone (cause I sure as shit am not giving them my cell number). I called back - no answer, so I hung up.

But then, I thought, I'm gonna do a little Googling research on these girls. So, channeling my sister, I got busy. Actually spent a pretty good amount of time looking these girls up. Time, I might add, that really needed to be spent doing things like finishing yearbook pages, proofing the pages that arrived today and determining the freaking yearbook staff for next year. Anywho boy, oh, boy, is there a lot of info on the internet people. Try looking yourself up. I know when DogHater was born, where she went to school, her dad's name, what her jobs have been, where she lives exactly, etc. etc.

That, of course, got me thinking about my own info. Let me tell you, thank the dear Lord there is an actress with my name. Cause you can try to find the Diva, but you'll have to go through 40 or 50 pages of listing and still in the end find very little about me. HA.

So, sure, this is probably information that will do me almost no good. But can you imagine how badly I can freak her out if when we finally talk, I throw out where she went to school, or quote something she wrote in her blog 4 years ago???? Heeby. Jeebys.

Why are people so crazy?

Ok, fine, why am I so crazy? It's been a while since I've had time to blog. It's been a while since I've had something to blog that didn't make me sound like I am totally nuts. I'm ok BEING nuts, I just try not to let proof of it hit the internet too often. At any rate, I've obviously decided to go with revealing nuttiness and let the cards fall where they may...

We are in the final week before spring break. THAT alone could make me insane. This means that we are trying to finish the last 86 pages of the yearbook that MUST be submitted by Friday. (Oh, and technically I am only supposed to have 32 pages left to submit, clearly, that didn't work out for us.) The senior staff is choosing next year's senior staff and the rest of the staff. It is a lot of pressure and responsibility. And it totally freaks me out as much as I believe in the system because I am still putting my future in their hands. Oh, and we are pretty sure there is another batch of proofs out there waiting to arrive before spring break but likely to arrive so as to give us a minimum amount of time to complete said proof pages cause that's the way these things work. Auuuggghhhhh

Last week was a bit freaky deaky with an ex. I mean bizarre. I'm not even sure of how to explain it except to say I've always thought of myself as the girl that dates the guys that are ambivalent at best. So, to have a former turn a little freaky "how can you date anyone else cause I was buying you a diamond even though we talk every 5 weeks or so and let me call your mom and talk to her before going radio silent" was disturbing to say the least.

In addition, the personal relationship seems to have shifted to some new level? place? state? and since I have no long term dating experience that isn't totally screwed up, I have NO basis for determining if this is all normal, weird or what. It's making me nuts. really. nuts. At any rate, I've taken advice and decided to sit back take a deep breath or two and just enjoy the ride. Let's see how long this little zen moment lasts.

Happy Bday to Me!!

I admit it. I love my birthday. As I've said before, as much as I hate turning 40, it beats the hell out of the alternative. And for being such a beating of a bday. It actually has been very delightful. It started with my BFF arriving in town on Friday.

Back up, actually it started with 3 doctors appointments on Friday all further bringing home that I am now old and old people have lots of doctors appointments and things falling apart. Sad, really.

But AFTER that then the BFF arrived. We went to dinner with our parents and then headed down to my house. We went to see Valentines Day on Saturday, and she met Mr. Potential. That made me very happy because I most definitely wanted them to meet. In the meantime, every time I turned around she had another little gift for me. It was a non-stop bonanza of cute stuff.

Saturday night we ordered out, watched a movie and did a whole lot of nothing. Pure. Greatness. She headed out Sunday to return to her familla, and I was taken to dinner. He gave me my present which was a very nice gift card to a local spa Exhale. I have heard many fabulous things about it so I am totally excited. I like that he knows what I like : )

Monday morning, I got up put on my"It's my birthday tiara" and headed to school. I actually have two tiaras because I think it is good to have choices, and I have to admit I usually get a headache by the end of the day because the thing is a little tight on my head, but I am telling you it is virtually impossible to have a bad day with a tiara on your head. You should try it.

By 6th period, I have to admit I was vibrating with excitement to see what the kids had gotten me. I knew they had something up their sleeve. I was dying to know what.
Yup. Shoes. Very tall. Very pink. Very glittery. Oh. My. Soooo Beautiful. 5 inch heels. I actually couldn't walk in them. Craziness.
Tttthhheeennn as if that wasn't enough, my sweet big sister sent me a flower bday cake. As she pointed out, it is the perfect cake for me since actual cake makes my stomach cramp up like a bad case of food poisoning (thank you very much don't I love not having a gall bladder) this cake is very pretty but it won't pain me!
In addition, she sent the CUTEST bear ever. He now sits in my office and makes me very, very happy. I thought about taking him home, but since we all know the damn dogs will gnaw on him if I take him home, he will keep me company at school. He is sooo soft and cuddly. That is good, since weirdness at school which will have to be another post is going to have me clutching my teddy bear a lot!

So, as much as I adored the shoes, I couldn't actually walk in them. My ankle actually had NO bend from my leg because the heel was so high. The editors very sweetly took me to the store to exchange for shoes I could actually wear. A little more toned down, but I will wear them A LOT. And I will think of how sweet my kids are to get them for me! I made it home in time to take care of the dogs and then go to dinner with Mr. Potential.

I got all sorts of Facebook love all day (SO MUCH FUN). And I would like to add festivities continue through the week! I'll post more later!

Pooh Bear and such

A few years ago someone gave me a Winnie-the-Pooh calendar. It came with stickers, such as "a Busy Day" and "a Lazy Day", "a Cleaning Day" and "a Hummy Day." Then there are the times when you need a smackeral of something, and times when you are feeling like a bear of very little brain. I'm thinking of making my twitter updates a la Pooh Bear.

He likes to keep things under 140 characters. For instance,"It is more fun to talk with someone who doesn't use long difficult words but rather short, easy words like "What about lunch?"

I've also contemplated having a sign at the front of the classroom. A warning, of sorts, to the children. "A Cranky Day" or "Pls don't ask stupid questions" day (Oh, please, yes, there are stupid questions.) I'm not sure if my precious darlings would choose to pay attention to the sign though. They have a tendency to just push onward ignoring all signs of warning.

I thought today would be a So-So day, but I looked at my calendar and realized, no, it will be a Busy Day. Sigh. Busy days are tricky. Because not only do I have a lot on MY list to do, but they usually come with the children asking many, many questions and having many needs to be met. By the end of Busy Days I am usually quite exhausted and ready for a Sleepy Night. I already looked around the room and realized today is also going to be a Cleaning Day. The place is a mess, and I usually have to stand over them all day barking commands to get them to clean properly. This is where I add the snide remark about children raised with maids comes in 'cause I'm telling you, some of these kids do NOT know how to clean.

In addition, I am trying to get things done around the room that require others. So my friend, Daisy is going to come by to help with the computers (I hope) and my Building Engineer friend is going to send some one to help me rearrange stuff on the walls so that the big window between Blondie and I is visible. (This is a very long story in and of itself, and it is worth of its own post which it shall get, just not today.)

Tomorrow Mr. Potential comes back, so I feel confident it will be a Hummy Day with Excitement on the side. I will try to not let it become a so busy that the Diva is very Cranky Day. Of course, if I am feeling out of sorts it might just be that I am feeling a little Eleven O'Clockish and it is time for a some honey . . . and afterwards I will feel much better and happy Diva like.

So, today will be a Busy Day, not a Doing Nothing day. And tomorrow is sure to be a Hummy Day and so is Friday now that I think about it. How is your day looking?

Today is Saturday

This is the day I'm supposed to sleep late and squander my time. Oh, sure, I knew I was going to need to unpack some more boxes and do some work on getting all of my crapola to fit in the house, but it would nice and lovely and no spazzing.

Today is the day my editors said that we needed to work if we were going to get everything done. Now, how can I possibly look into the eyes of my overachieving UNPAID editors and say, "Hell no, I'm not coming in on a Saturday. Are you nuts?"

I'd also like to add that by the end of the day Friday, I had a doc to proofread for counseling, a syllabus to write for a course that I may or may NOT be teaching next year, and a nice little stack of stuff to do that I have been avoiding.

Of course, the editors won, and I set the alarm to be at school. I started this post at 9am when I got there. I thought what the heck, while they are working, I can at least start working on my school to do list. That went to hell by about 9:30 when they started rolling in for me to proof read pages. And they kept coming, and coming, and coming. So I got ZERO done on my house Saturday.

I did, at least, manage to get the syllabus done with quite a bit of help from Blondie (Thank you, Lord, for Blondie if I haven't thanked you recently.)

So, the day ended and I took everything home. Haven't actually gotten any of it done.

I have to be at school at 6:30 am 'cause the newspaper staff is on deadline and (again Thank you, Lord) Blondie and I are a team - I take mornings, she takes afternoons. Maybe I can get some actual work done Monday morning.

Today, I did manage to unload two batches of storage stuff today, I got Cat and brought him to the new abode, I hit the grocery store, and I managed to do my laundry, although it isn't folded or ironed. Oh, and I walked the dogs and washed my hair. I need more hours in the day if I'm going to actually get real work done.

Yes, I know, it has been a while

Busy as hell people. I am busy as hell. I have been working madly on the house. Had to stop though cause I am teaching at a Journalism workshop Sun - Wednesday. I leave Wednesday for Washington DC to spend time with the Bff and her family.

I have a whole nother post I'm creating in my head on the handyman working on my house. Nice guy, but he is driving me to drink . . . ok, more than I usually do.

In the meantime, the dogs have gone to the Canine Country Club for some r and r. He hasn't worn a collar in years because he gets upset, starts trying to take it off and then gets it caught in his mouth. Distressing for all of us to say the least. So, I bought a collar and a name tag for him and a halter so that if he tried to get the collar off then they could make him wear the halter. ( He used to try to escape all of the time, he really doesn't try any more, but we weren't certain of how he would behave.) So, Cat, is now chilling with the parentals. They have kindly been keeping me up with his happiness.

Cat is so happy - he may not speak to you when you return. I have the bag with the harness & receipt awaiting your return from MB's so you can return it. Of course, one never knows with a cat....he may be just waiting for us to relax and he will try to escape.

This cracks me up. He is a crafty bugger, and certainly he might be trying to lure them into a comfort zone before attempting to exit the premises. However, he is older now and, quite frankly, he enjoys Dad's lap too much to go out into the cruel world.

Another quick side note, if this were big sis's cat, he would be bringing them mice, frogs, birds and other things (some dead/some alive) to show his affection. I may have to remind the parentals about this if they start getting testy about Cat's love of the lap.

Venting

It has been awhile since I have wanted to vent about the people with whom I work, especially Scooby. I think I have done a great job of just keeping my mouth shut. As many of you know, this is not traditionally, my strong suit.

So, I get an email today:

Diva,
Here is who made Quill & Scroll (honors journalism organization) from the yearbook staff.
Susy Fabulous
Betsy Badass
Laura Loveher

If there is anyone who didn't make it whom you thought should have, please let me know. I had students dropping off applications with my staffers who may not have gotten it to me and I don't want to leave off anyone who isn't deserving.
Thanks,
Scooby.

I sent a reply:

Who else applied that didn't make it?

He replied with:

Here is who made Quill & Scroll (honors journalism organization) from the yearbook staff.
Susy Fabulous
Betsy Badass
Laura Loveher

Auugghhhhh. Freaking tell me who didn't make it.

When it's better to be quiet and not post

That's right when you have nothing nice to say. . .

When you are cranky and full of venom. . .

When theme week makes you want to beat your head against a wall because the new editors are NOT taking it seriously and you KNOW that you are going to end up having a crappy ass year because of the fact that they are screwing up already. . .

When you get that stupid stargazer lily orange pollen crap on your beautiful pale pink jacket that you adore, and although the dry cleaner told you she thought that they could get it out you would prefer a "yes, that is coming out" response. . .

When your stomach has been slightly cranky for two days, and you aren't sure why AND when you chose to wear an unbearably tight skirt today that actually required undoing the buttons so that you could make it through the afternoon without fainting. . .

When you spent an evening at the laundrymat (a story unto itself quite frankly) trying to get your duvet and comforter cleaned one of which very definitely still has a big ass pee stain (dumb dogs) on it and the other is at least dark brown so that you can't tell although you are uncomfortably aware that odds are that the pee stain is still there too. . .

When you are about to spend TWO hours in an inservice about something you might find interesting and want to learn about but still can't bear the thought of TWO hours on any topic. . .

THAT's when you shouldn't post.

Topeka

If you follow the Twitters, then you pretty much know everything that happened in Topeka. I like to keep my audience fully apprised of all the minutia in my life activities.

We arrived in Kansas City Sunday afternoon. They had SNOW.

The rental car place tried to give us a small cadillac for six people. Literally, we walked out to the car. Stared at it for a minute. Counted heads again. Contemplated the car, then trudged back inside.

After much discussion and calling to the lot dude, we got a Mercury Mountaineer.

We had a lovely drive to Topeka. Since our flight left at noon, I was pretty sure the girls wouldn't plan out in their heads how meals would work. So, we got to Topeka and they were all starving. Worked great, cause I like to eat din din earlier than most . . .

So we are at Outback Steakhouse by 5pm where I fall victim to the most delicious of delicacies . . the blooming onion. I love that thing which is unfortunate since it is fried and no longer on the approved list of foods to eat. Damn gallbladder.

That meant when I got my oh, so tender and yummy steak, I ate about 2 bites before I stopped because my stomach was NOT happy. Chit.

Last year the girls wanted to watch Enchanted when we got back to the room. This year? Frost/Nixon. I'll admit, I wasn't sure how good it would be, but we really enjoyed it.

We got to the plant at about 9am. I love the plant. There are great smells. . . It's like magic markers, glue and gas exhaust all wrapped up together. A lovely little high ; )

We were in Kansas, so it was only appropriate that we follow the yellow tape lines through the plant. . . If we weren't certain that they were amazing, they had a big banner to help us out. . . The girls noticed immediately that there was a sign identifying the "big ass books" that they do . . . please note 39111 (no irony in THAT job number)

At any rate, after sniffing my way through the plant, we went to lunch and then had to head to the airport. Talk about a quick visit.

Sabrina was waiting for me when I got home, and I picked up Buddy last night. Turns out Buddy may have been too much for my poor Dad. He is exuberant in his love and he is a danger to kidneys due to his desire to leap into laps. (He is completely unaware that 50lbs is a lot of weight to drop onto a lap suddenly.)

Senior Ads Meeting

So it is almost 5:30. I have been to Michael's (needed some stuff to get myself organized), the dry cleaners, home to feed the dogs, and, now, I find myself back at school.

First side note: this morning I decided to go downstairs and get some breakfast (school breakfasts aren't the best, but they aren't horrible). At any rate, after eating it I realized that I had failed to take my girl without gall bladder medicine. Sigh. Paid for that about an hour later. Then Daisy brought a super yummy cupcake from this great bakery on Greenville Ave. I had half. It was good. I did ok. So, what did I do? ATE THE OTHER HALF. NOT OK. NOT GOOD. Paid for it about an hour later.

The 2nd of 2 Senior ads meetings is tonight to teach parents how to do senior ads. For the first meeting I was deathly ill, and there weren't many parents there. I am healthy (but tired) and really hoping they all come tonight because it is going to be a total pain in the ass if they don't come.

For those who do not know what a senior ad is: In the last 20 years or so yearbooks have changed from having mostly commercial ads from companies in the area in the back of the book to mostly ads from parents to their kids saying how precious they are and how much they love little Johnny, etc etc. We, the yearbook staff, make OBSCENE amounts of money from selling these ads. This money in turn buys lots of fun toys for the yearbook staff, computers, laptops, cameras etc. We have over 300 pages of ads. It is a lot of ads.

So, I'm tired, still cranky and trying to psyche myself up for this evening. Although skinnier because I'm pretty sure everything I've eaten today has passed through my system. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

I'm in Love

Ok, don't get excited. It has nothing to do with the search for Big Love. It has to do with my job's near perfection being marred by working with a total dumb ass. You ask how? Please allow me to explain.

Well, as many of you know, I currently teach with a total dumb ass. Words cannot express how much he makes my head hurt. Examples would only touch the surface of how bewilderingly stupid he can be. There are no descriptors descriptive enough to get across what I think of him. However, if you need examples please go here, here, and here. (Actually, it's probably not even worth the effort, just go with me, he's a dumb ass.) This year there is a new teacher at the middle school teaching Journalism. She is intelligent, funny, hardworking. Blah, blah, blah. Today she came by to spend the day seeing what happens at the high school level etc. She mentions that the previous teacher had given her a shout out that she was coming back to town. (Feeling her out as it were for job options.) I stare at Mercy with the wheels grinding so hard smoke was coming out of my ears. I have an idea.

I say,"That is great, she could come back and take the middle school job, and you can take Scoobie's job." From that point forward we were done for. All we could think about was what needed to happen to lose Scoobie and how MUCH FUN we would have working together.

Seriously the only bad part of my job (ok, besides the occasional totally wacked out parent) is having to work with a newspaper adviser that sucks. I have had teaching jobs with someone I really got along well with (here the closest I've gotten is teaching one period of English teaming with a teacher I love, but that doesn't fully fit the bill) and it can really make a job tons better no matter how good it is to begin.

We have now solved the problem of whom would take her place at the middle school, now I just have to get Scoobie out. I called my Josten's man, and he was downright ugly.

"No," he says. "I'm not going to help you, then I'd have to work with him." Ok, fine, good point.

But I say, if you could even find out about job openings with schools that use that other crappy ass publishing company, then we could get rid of him AND you wouldn't have to work with him. He snorted. So wrong.

I'm telling you Mercy and I had a great time all day. We have lots in common, we live near each other. We think alike (scary for many, I know.) It would be so much fun. Sigh. Dream, dream, dream.

Stay tuned. We will continue to formulate the plan.

Why did I get out of bed?

I'm not even sure of where I should begin . . let's do this topically.

Financial: Total mess. I got a bill this past weekend for my gas bill. It seems the last time I paid my freaking bill was November. I'm pretty sure it is because every bill I have gotten since November has been outrageous so I think, I'm going to put this bill aside and call them before I pay, only I keep forgetting to call. So I get another bill and think the same thing. Now I have a bill that is almost $1,000. SHIT.

Oh, but that isn't all. I also got a bill from my alarm company saying gee you never paid so we have shut off monitoring. I called them and find out that since I only pay once a year, I haven't paid since 2006??? Are you kidding me? They couldn't give me a shout out??? So to start it back up I have to pay $250.00. Fine if I weren't in the middle of paying the gas bill.

When it gets warm I'm going to have to start working Harry Hines. I'm NOT FREAKING KIDDING. I mean I make a decent salary. Why can't I live within my means???? What is wrong with me?

Social: Need I go into detail? Suffice to say making arrangements to meet a fellow dater in this busy world is damn difficult. Especially when life keeps getting in the way. I couldn't get five minutes alone today to think let alone to say call any one and or get a call to make a plan. It probably doesn't help a thing that all I want to do is go to bed at the end of days like this. Auuuggghhhhh.

Have you ever had a person that you need to break away from but have trouble making it happen? I'm there. Have you had a friendship that just ended, but it kind of bugged you because you were like what the heck happened? Have one of those too, but I'm a total chicken and don't really want to deal with it even though it is bugging me.

School: Ah, always a good time. First, I got an email from a parent asking me when the senior ads meetings that we have each spring are going to be. I starting asking the kids. NO ONE KNEW. So, finally someone has the dates. Sure as shit, one of the dates is the night I have JUST MOVED my opera ticket to AND bought a second ticket for. Shit Shit Shit. I was ready to cry.

Second, senior ads, for the uninitiated into my life, are in the back of the yearbook. They are, literally, half the book. 8 ads managers and 500 sets of parents meet up for 3 weeks in the spring to do ads for the next years seniors. "Oh, Johnny we love you." "Oh, Katherine, you are fabulous and amazing." . . .with pictures. We make lots and lots of money. We used to make all the ad appointments on paper. Ridiculous. So I found a scheduling program and purchased it. It worked great for a year and then we started having problems.

Ok, fine, so I go to a different program this year. We've been using for camera checkout for the photographers. I'm trying to get stuff ready for ad sales, and the program is skitzy. In case you are wondering, the program is Office Tracker

Side note: All I ask is that if possible fit into conversations with everyone you know that this company has one tech guy, one sales girl and an inability to take care of business. In short, they suck pond water.

and the program was ok, but their service SUCKS. I don't need more people to talk to me like I'm stupid. If I need that shit I can call a relative. Seriously, we couldn't even add names to the program and they talked to us like we were totally annoying.

So, I found another program. These people are at least really nice, but still getting it all set up is practically killing me. I am so frustrated and annoyed with all of it.

Third, in the meantime, I am trying to upgrade my Adobe Indesign. I called to upgrade and Adobe tells me that they can't sell to education institutions. I have to call a third party vendor. OK, fine. So I call Jostens (the company that does our yearbook and that usually I LOVE.) Spoke to a woman who doesn't listen to me and is totally condesending. Really? Not to be to bitchy about it but I'm running the largest yearbook in the country with one of if not the biggest publishing bill. The truth is even if I was a baby book I'd be pissed to be talked to that way. So, I talk to her boss. Who again, doesn't really listen. I don't actually care if I can get an upgrade or adobe is wacked out and insists that I buy all new versions. We have the money. I just want the programs. Is it really that difficult?

Now, it was, without a doubt, a crappy ass day, but I do have to say that without the BF being there as I thought I would start screaming and crying at the same time and without Daisy who very, very sweetly agreed to go to Taco Cabana (please note we chose a totally cheap place since as afore mentioned I AM TOTALLY BROKE) to get something to eat and a much needed marguarita I would not have survived the day.


photo illustrations by moi but all original images snatched from the internet.

How do we get anything done?

I walked out of my office yesterday to this:
It is amazing, as always, that we manage to produce the largest yearbook in the country. How do we do it? Cause, really, we aren't doing diddly most of the time.

Breathe, Breathe, Breathe

Well, first I want to say since sending the letter to D&D, it has been radio silence. I can't begin to describe how nice it is to not hear from them.

Shawn Northcutt . . . I don't even know what to say. His lack of response is shocking. He finally responded to an email Robert sent. He then sent a separate email to me that I forwarded to the committee. The email he sent to me was blah, blah, blah, it's not my fault, blah, blah, blah, it is really your fault, blah, blah blah, I am a victim, blah, blah, blah it's not my fault. I so desperately want to respond, but I keep reminding myself that none of it will do any good.

Robert responded to the email I forwarded. While I was meeting with the committee this afternoon, Shawn sent an email to Robert suggesting he no longer work on the Book. I could hear the hallelujah chorus playing in the background. Robert asked me to respond. I sat staring at the screen thinking of all the responses I wanted to make. Instead I just said, the committee appreciates and accepts your proposal. Please send a bill after all photos have been delivered.

I received a phone call today from one of the inductees. He said Shawn was supposed to be at his house at 10am to take his photo. At 11am they got a phone call saying he had a flat tire, was waiting for help and would be on his way. At 2pm when I got the call, Shawn had neither made contact again nor shown up. sigh.

Now, as far as the yearbook pictures go, I'm still waiting on those. He is supposed to be at the high school on Friday to shoot the last 30 kids or so that haven't been photographed. He is supposed to submit the disk of senior photos to the plant by Friday, December 7th. Shall we take wagers on whether or not that happens?

The meeting with the boys lasted about 3 hours. We got through a ton of stuff. My brain hurts right now, but all I can think is, Wow I may actually get this sucker done.

Today at school, I worked with the editors on the people pages. In ten years at HP I have gotten a call every year from the plant that some portion of the people pages are wrong. All those head shots and we have to have the right number of pages and boxes for all the little heads. Toooooo many numbers. Aaauuugggghhhhh

Did I mention that Sabrina and Buddy are now sleeping in kennels at night? They are really funny. I put Buddy in his, and then Sabrina tries to hide under the bed. So I turn the light out and act like I'm going to leave her under the bed. Within thirty seconds she comes hopping up on the bed, silly girl. Then she goes into her kennel.

Photographer Hell

So, I met with Shawn Wednesday evening. I told him all the pictures had to be taken (or retaken) by November 1st. He said that if the data retrieval company didn't call by this afternoon to say everything had been saved, he would send letters to all of the parents letting them know what was going on.

I asked if I could have the disk of senior pictures that they did have for senior ads. He said that he would bring it in the morning when he came to take retake pictures at the school Thursday morning.

Guess what? Thursday morning, no photos. (He did bring them by after school was out.)

I had two mothers come by and want to use senior photos in senior ads. I explained to them what was going on and that was why I couldn't say yes, because it might not be as easy as just sending a photo to me.

Shawn called and left a message telling me NOT to telling anyone what was going on. WHAT??? Is he insane? I called him back and said I wasn't willing to lie, they could handle the truth.

He gave me some song and dance about how all the parents calling would put him behind. As if it would be my fault if he got behind on anything else.

Now I feel like I don't have a choice but to call the boys, tell them what is going on and give them an option of what to do. SHIT SHIT SHIT

Reason Prevails, kind of

Alright, so I was talking to Fran this morning, and she convinced me that I shouldn't send the finely crafted 2am letter. She doesn't think dipshit and the dingdong will grasp the point of the letter anyway. Bummer.

In the meantime, I set up a video camera on my dogs. Should be interesting to see what they are like when I am not home.

In the meantime, I'm at school with the ads managers as they work to finish up their ads. They all very sweetly volunteered to "ring and run" the neighbors house and make prank calls. Oh how I yearn to take them up on it. No, I won't. Give me some credit.

Ok, back to work as I daydream about ways to torture my neighbors.

Going Home

Almost done. Got up this morning and just came down to the hotel lobby rather than wake the girls. I don't want to talk to them enough to be willing to wake them. My throat is killing me. I've called the pharmacy to try to get them to reorder the antibiotic that the Dr. prescribed two weeks ago. Hopefully I can pick that up on my way home from the airport.

The boys sent me an email earlier this week that I responded to today. I've had to craft the response, if you will. They are choosing the wrong week to get on my nerves.

At any rate, we should be at the airport at about noon, on the plane by 2:30, in Dallas by 7:30, stand around and wait for the luggage for a little while, drop two of the girls off (third one her parents are getting her) and get my prescription, I should be home by about 9:30 or so. Then I can do laundry.

Good times. Good times.