Unbearable Sadness of Being

Sabrina and I went to see Dr. Murray Tuesday. Technically it was her annual. Dr. Murray said she had been researching options, and all she had seen was stem stell research in California. Yeah, not really an option. We discussed her infections (that would probably only get worse), the constant fight between too firm poo and diarrhea poo. We talked about how she really hated it when I expressed her bladder and that she dripped pee all day every day.

So, Sabrina stood between us, happy and bouncy, and I knew that she really isn't going to get better. And I knew it was just going to get harder and harder for me. So, we decided to just do it. She was a beautiful, happy, loving dog. I hated holding the power of life or death over another creature. I desperately wanted her to live and get better, and I am desperately sad that she is gone.

My students are unbelievably sweet. I've gotten lots of hugs, a coffee cake, flowers and a slurpee.

I'm going to make a video montage, but in the meantime here is a clip from one of her last days. It seems really, really wrong doesn't it?