Dear John

This post contains the actual content from the Dear John letter that was written in conjunction with The Daisy. I knew I needed help to explain myself while keeping it simple, and she is quite the wordsmith. It's a work of art, and we both are going to Hell for posting it for all the world to see. (Well, in my case, for the 5 people that read this thing to see.) Daisy's version has some additional verbiage. Yes, I know, her version is really REALLY going to get me sent to Hell. . . I'll have a condo by the fiery lake for sure.

Dear Dane:

I know it's chickenshit to do this via email, but so be it.

While I really enjoyed meeting you on the train that afternoon, and the romance of it all is rather appealing, I'm afraid that I don't think that in the end, there is enough substance between us to forge a true connection.

I know that you will disagree with this, but I tell you with great clarity that a relationship between us is not possible.

Besides the obvious issue of distance, there are also a number of personality differences that I really feel make us incompatible. While I am flattered by the fact that you have such an intense desire to make me happy, I think that in this amount of time, for the majority of our conversations to have centered on the state of our relationship, which barely exists to begin with, is indicative of the very real lack of commonality between us.

I am so sorry; I really wish there were a way to not cause you pain, but like a band-aid, I'm just ripping it off in an attempt to avoid dragging out an end that I see as inevitable. I know the right person for you is out there somewhere.

The Diva

What I wanted to write was "At this point everything about you annoys the chit out of me," but I didn't think that was P.C.

I wanted this to be a love story, but it's just not. Trust me, once I opened my eyes I realized I was trapped in a twisted version of Psycho, if that's even possible.