Feeling Weird

As always, I have an inordinate amount of work to do. Yet, I sit here with my desk pretty much cleaned off staring at my computer. So, I figured what the hell, might as well write.

Only I'm not sure of what I want to write. I think I have heart burn. My life is giving me heart burn.

Thanksgiving is approaching, so everyone is asking what I'm doing. Nothing is the answer. Am I seeing my parents? Doubt it. They haven't talked to me in about two months. When I called them last. To ask a question about meat. And then I got off the phone before my mother could say something condescending. Usually along the lines of "You don't have enough money to buy meat. You should pay off your bills first." Or something else equally insulting.

It feels weird. I admit it. On the other hand, it is impressive the way she can take any topic and make it be about money and my being an idiot. It's a talent really.

It's a little weird the way people get freaky about the fact I'm not doing anything for Thanksgiving. Makes me feel like a loser, which I don't feel like in and of the fact I'm not doing anything. I'm ok with it, but it seems to upset others. Kind of the way most of my life goes now that I think about it.

In the meantime, I have piled on the projects that all require immediate attention, and as it turns out skills with Adobe Indesign I don't quite possess. So, I am watching a ton of videos all day and reading my books ordered from Amazon in an effort to figure out HOW to do all of these various things.

In other news, my yard is a full out leaf zone. Needs to be raked desperately. I raked for about an hour yesterday, got 6 bags of leaves covering maybe 1/4 of the front yard and then showered and took Benadryl in an effort to stave off the allergies and sneezing that follow on the heels of yard work EVERY STINKING TIME.

So, I'm still sitting here. Thinking about everything I need to do. Not wanting to do any of it. Feeling guilty for not doing it, but knowing. Today? Nothing else is getting done. I've now moved on to watch Elementary on the computer.

I can rock 11:30 like nobody's business

Well, it's true, and we all know it. I'm not a night owl. Lord knows, I can go to bed at 8pm and be perfectly happy. I might get up pretty darn early, but it's more of a self-preservation thing. I have to have alone time at  school to get my brain wrapped around the day or I'd kill someone. (Ok, well, that is also preservation of others, so THAT's necessary any way you look at it.)

I will say that once my day starts, the wheels come off and I am running like a mad thing until the end. Seriously. I can't keep up with everything I am trying to do. Unfortunately nothing seems to be going away. It just keeps piling on...and on...and on.

Ug. That's all I have to say on the subject.

Tempus Fugit

Alright, so I'm not doing all that well at blogging every day, but at least I'm thinking about it more and getting back into the swing of things. As such, I stopped this morning to think about my life as a blogger.

I started blogging April 19, 2006. So it's been a while. Pretty impressive. This is my 803 blog post... probably not that many if you average it over six years, but Lordy have I covered a lot of ground.

I've always wanted to be a journaler... but I was never very consistent. Turns out, blogging was more of my thing, so once I discovered journaling online, I became better about writing. And it is cathartic. It feels good to think about my life, my believes and my choices in the context of reflective ponderings. It's also a nice way to keep up with the big things that have happened.

I've lived in 6 places in 6 places in 6 years. Sold 3 houses. Had my heart broken a couple of times. Buried 5 pets (that doesn't sound very good for the pets, does it?!) Traveled to Japan, Europe at least 4 times, gone to the Virgin Islands and multiple destinations in the U.S.

I've overseen the completion of 5 yearbooks and written a coffee table book as I work on the 2nd edition of the coffee table book, another yearbook and a Centennial celebration book for the district.

I've made friends, lost friends, fought with friends and learned to be a better person because of my friends. I've had an online stalker for a couple of years who I very much hope has gotten her own life by now, but there is really no telling.

I've taught hundreds of students. Mostly girls. And I pray that I have done more good than harm. I hope I have taught them how to be strong independent women. How to stand up for themselves, how to ask questions, how to problem solve and to never quit.

Yep, time has been flying by. If my calculations are correct, I have about 10 years until I retire. Hard to imagine. Probably won't. What else would I do? So, here's to the future. Hope it is the ride that I've had so far. Cause it's been pretty damn good.

All this learnin' is starting to hurt my head

There are a couple of projects going on in my world that are requiring me to put great thought into the process.

In addition, I am using Indesign in multiple ways that I have not used it before. Expo facto my head hurts. I am watching video tutorials ALL DAY LONG. It's unbelieavable. I'm excited about what I think we'll be able to do with everything once I figure out how to make it work, but in the meantime, it is killing me.

Everytime I take a step forward...I'm writing down something else I have to figure out before I can actually move forward, if you know what I mean.

If I spend too much time thinking about all of the freaking projects I am actually trying to complete, it makes me twitchy. So, I'm going to go back to watching my videos. And trying to figure out what the hell I am doing.

The Netti Pot

I  have a Netti Pot. I loath the Netti Pot. For one thing, after using it in the morning, if I bend over at any point during the day, salt water runs out my nose. Not attractive. For another, I'm just never all that certain that it really works. I'm just pouring salt water up my nose for no good reason.

All that to say,  I don't use it regularly. I use it when I'm sick, and I'm trying to get well. I've been sick since last Sunday. I mean sick. I've been taking everything I can get my hands on. That includes using the netti pot.  This morning I used it. For about 15 minutes. For about 15 of the most disgusting minutes ever. My nasal cavaties are a cesspool of infection. It was unbelievable. I should have taken photos.

I'll be going to Minute clinic this afternoon for antibiotics.

Reality is harsh

If you know anything about education these days, you know that there are one hellofa lot of testing days. It means the entire faculty gets moved about to be testing administrators never in our own classrooms. Don't know why that is, but it is.

A couple of weeks ago I found myself in a room staring at a poster for about 4 hours. The poster basically said, "Reality can be harsh. It can be cruel and ugly...What is important is not to be defeated, to forge ahead bravely."

The more I thought about it, the more I realized it was true in almost every arena of life, and it is so important for the kids to appreciate the truth of it as soon as possible. Applying to colleges, joining sororities, failing classes, dealing with coworkers etc etc. are all opportunities to learn the truth of that poster.

The world doesn't owe us anything. Life isn't fair, and you can't always get what you want. How often have we heard these phrases? One of the most important lessons we can learn in life is how to meet adversity with dignity and move on. How we handle defeat and adversity says so much about who we are. The very core of who we are reflects our abilities to deal with the harshness of reality.

Reality is sometimes we don't date in high school, it's not until later in life that boys appreciate who we are. Sometimes we don't get asked out by the guy we like. Some times we get into a big ole raging fight with our friends. Sometimes things just don't happen the way we would like for them to happen.

We pick ourselves up, we dust ourselves off, and we live another day.

Already blown it

Well, hell. It's Sunday, so that means I missed writing yesterday. Honestly, I need a more interesting life for this to work. I also need to not be sick and praying for death. Hard to have deep thoughts when one is constantly contemplating which part of the body is most miserable.

So, in my defense, I've sick since last Sunday. I've been taking everything I can get my hands on all week. I'm better, but i still have a bit of a headache. My voice is still scratchy. I do not feel so great.

Being ill is definitely messing with my plans to stay on schedule with alllllll of the things I'm trying to do.

Watching bad TV all day yesterday and today was not part of the plan and yet, I can't stop myself.

Currently, I'm watching Million Dollar Rooms. It's making me salivate. I really miss having a decent restroom. Let alone a fantastic one.

Ok, maybe I can do better tomorrow.