Details of life as I find myself changing my life for the better. Sure I could be mature and even tempered, but slightly crazy and an emotional car wreck are more fun.
When I got back from Europe, I was totally excited to find that work had begun on my home improvement projects that required my friend/handyman, Scott, to do. I've had a picture of what I wanted for ages. Scott did a fantastic job of recreating it. I still have to finish flattening the walls and paint, but I now have wall to wall mantle with bookshelves on either side of the fireplace. I love it. There was a fireplace with Corinthian columns there before. Scott kept saying I should just throw the mantle out. I couldn't bear to do it. Luckily, it didn't take long for me to realize that I still hadn't solved my lack of headboard problem either. So, now the old mantle is the headboard. I know it is hard to tell, but it is pretty cool looking. It will look even better if my parents make it home alive (my sister is working the bejesus out of them) and I can get some help making the curtains and hanging them!
Sadly, although Scott did manage to tear the bathroom up, I am too poor to actually get anything done, let alone pay for the stuff that needs to go in it. It is down to the studs. My goal by the end of the summer is to have the master and front room painted. Let's see if I get it done.
I have jumped back into the dating cesspool. I'm already tired, and they make my teeth hurt. I actually had to go back and check to get my numbers right. It actually surprises me that I'm only on 9. It feels like it should be a much higher number.
So, currently in the line up we have 9; henceforth to be referred to as Country.
He lives in Little Elm, and has a big ole country accent. BFE and slightly south of Denton. Ugh. When I mentioned how far out he lives, he replied well, what if I was The One, and he was unwilling to drive to meet me. Good Freaking Grief.
To a certain extent I have to admit we are kindred spirits since he hung up on me 3 times during our conversation and then called me accidentally shortly afterward.
At any rate, we meet Friday night at 7pm. Yes, of course, I will Twitter you updates ; )
Ok, this is the part where I acknowledge that even the American's can mess it up. I don't even know how it happened, but it turns out the chaperones all wore green on the same day. We actually mocked many a group for wearing matching clothes. So, while at the Bull fighting stadium we got a fun mimic the statue so that we can document that we all matched photo. (You get distracted by what we're doing and almost miss that we match . . . doncha?) OK, I know the girls look cute, but trust me when I tell you the pants that they all BOUGHT in Spain are some of the ugliest damn things I've ever seen. I include this picture because we tried to be their friends and tell them that they were hideous but they swore up and down that they didn't care and that the pants were very comfortable and that is all that mattered. Sigh. I tried. I really did.
So many from which to choose . . . ok, let's begin.
Don't wear small bikini tops riding your bike unless you have a smoking hot bod. I'm not saying you can't have a bikini top, but when I first saw this woman I thought she was topless which almost caused me swallow my gum. That can be dangerous. So, for the unprepared. You shouldn't do that.
Next, it is no longer the 80's. Therefore, in any country, allowing your child to have a MULLET with a rats tail is CHILD ABUSE!Again with the lace, but with the red shoes. Not ok. Not attractive. Oh, and her pants were too tight. Geez.Ah, yes, the fabulous pantyhose with espadrilles. I'm telling you we were hauling ass through Rome trying to get to our meeting point on time when I saw this. I was yanking my camera out, trying to get it in focus and trying to watch where we were going. Sorry it is such a bad photo, but trust me when I tell you, it was not pretty. Please don't do this. Even when you are 90 which this girl was NOT. I understand that some people really think it is important for everything to match. I get that. In fact, I might even fall into that category. I have a hard time with the purse not needing to match the shoes anymore, but if Clinton and Stacy (What not to Wear hosts) say it is so, then I must believe. Someone needs to get the memo to this woman. Hey, lady, your hair doesn't have to match your outfit every time any more. Black satin during the day. That's a no ghost rider. Again with the caveat, unless you are a HOOKER. Then more power to you. The man capri's. We saw these things in varying lengths and styles throughout our trip. I'm telling you here and now, not ok. No way. No how. Tell friends and family. Don't let this fashion style cross the pond. I'd rather see a man with a murse (man purse). I almost feel badly for this woman. The pants fit. The top looked ok. But Holy Crap people. Look at those things. Besides the fact she looks like she's wearing her pjs around Madrid, that pattern should not see the light of day. Ever. I saved the best for last. I have heard the lament of days gone by and a time when people dressed up to get on planes. The thought of dressing up for an 11 hr flight makes my teeth hurt, but this, this is beyond all understanding. She looks miserable. She looks like she just got in from the club. She appeared to be a chaperone for a group youth trip. I'm sorry what????? Part of me wishes I was on her flight just so I could walk by and try to get pictures of her sitting on the plane in that getup. Even hookers shouldn't dress like this on airplanes.
The muffin: Your shirt should come down to your skirt/pants/shorts. Unless you have a washboard stomach, trust me, it is better for the world not to see it.Nuff said.
Ok, so since I'm sitting around doing, hmm, NOTHING. I thought I would present bad outfits oversees. I've tried to break them up into categories, and some of them aren't as painful to look at as they were in real life, but trust me when I say they were stunning in real life.
I have to start this little presentation with the question, WHERE IN THE FUCK WERE THEIR FRIENDS? These are people who clearly got dressed in the morning, looked in their mirrors and said, "Dammnnnn, I look Goooooddddd." No, you don't. Where are the people in their lives that gently and kindly say, "For the love of all that is holy, don't ever wear that again??????"
So, we begin with rule #1 if you are a size six or smaller, you can pretty much wear what you want, including white pants. If you are ANY bigger than that, you should have at least 3 friends approve any white pant purchases, because there is nothing more foul than a big ole cottage cheese ass squeezed into white pants. Oh, and if you ARE going to jump that cliff, at least make sure that the pants fit. Come on, just go up a size.
In addition, the cute white top (it can't possibly be a dress, I swear we could see the crease of her butt) on top of the lace leggings . . .not ok. unless you are a hooker. then it is ok. . . And no matter what, none of us want to see your underwear. Undies or bras. It is not ok. On the other hand, we do want you to wear undergarments. Rule #2 Bras keep the girls where they are supposed to be today, and if fit properly tomorrow. Otherwise, your girls might be a striking resemblance to this woman's who are dangerously close to her belly button.
Don't know if you have seen In Plain Sight, but I like it. So I was getting caught up on missed episodes (So glad for Hulu cause I lost my recorded shows when the storm hit town while I was out of town. Grrr.) At any rate, an episode ends with this:
Before the big bang, before time itself, before matter, energy, velocity; there existed a single and measurable state called yearning. This is the special force that on a day before there were days obliterated nothing into everything. It is the unseen string tying planets to stars. It's the maddening want we feel from first breath to last light.
