Recently while I sat staring at the tv prefer to go into a light coma over doing any number of things that I need to be doing, a commercial came on that intrigued me. I tried to find it online, but alas no success. I doubt I can do it justice, but I'll try.
It starts with a couple packing. The wife pulls out a black lace teddy and a red lace teddy while asking her husband which to bring. He, of course, tells her both. Then we cut to the hotel room where they are obviously about to get it on, the door starts to close and we see the do not disturb sign. Then the announce comes on and says let enterprise be a part of your romantic weekend.
There we have it, folks. Freud had it, make it about sex. Whatever it is, sex sells. Sex sells rental cars. I'm assuming they would prefer people not to have sex IN the rental car, but on the other hand, they might not mind that much if people are actually renting the car. Yuck. Double yuck.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Confession
I had only planned on posting a wee bit tonight, but I can't stop myself. Every time I post the next thing I check it online to see how it looks. I'll be damned if my sister hasn't posted a comment. Now I have to keep going to see if she is still reading. Ya, sure I could call and ask her, but that isn't anywhere near as much fun.
It's like slug bug. We enjoy playing this game immensely. In fact, I have found no one else that enjoys it as much as we do. Occasionally I can rope people into investing slight energy in the game, but no one does it with as much gusto and joie de vive as my sister, Fran and I. Did I mention that we don't live in the same city? (I have to add she has an unfair advantage since she lives in Austin where all the tree hugging, liberal vw loving hippies that don't live in San Francisco live).
At any rate, back on topic, we recently upped the ante and now we have to come up with adjectives for our colors. So today, for instance, I received texts that read, cherry red, blue m&m, blackberry, cafe au lait. Plus she spotted a couple while we were talking that I can't even remember. I'm having a hard time keeping up in the gas guzzling, hummer driving, egocentric, money loving center of Dallas.
Where did I start with this? Oh, yeah, the game. It's about the love of the game. Can I blog longer than she can read? (I doubt it. The girl has endurance.) Will I run out of things to say before my eyes wear out and start to glaze over (Already starting to glaze.) Will my legs catch fire from the heat of the stupid laptop before I reach the end of this post? (Possibly not, but I am seriously sweating.) Will my congested nose send me to the extreme of using the stupid netti pot BEFORE I finish all of my posting possibly causing a short when I lean in too close to the computer screen forcing the salt water to come pouring out of my nose? (Pretty good chance. Hard to tell though.)
I still have a little more fight in me. Onward to the next post.
It's like slug bug. We enjoy playing this game immensely. In fact, I have found no one else that enjoys it as much as we do. Occasionally I can rope people into investing slight energy in the game, but no one does it with as much gusto and joie de vive as my sister, Fran and I. Did I mention that we don't live in the same city? (I have to add she has an unfair advantage since she lives in Austin where all the tree hugging, liberal vw loving hippies that don't live in San Francisco live).
At any rate, back on topic, we recently upped the ante and now we have to come up with adjectives for our colors. So today, for instance, I received texts that read, cherry red, blue m&m, blackberry, cafe au lait. Plus she spotted a couple while we were talking that I can't even remember. I'm having a hard time keeping up in the gas guzzling, hummer driving, egocentric, money loving center of Dallas.
Where did I start with this? Oh, yeah, the game. It's about the love of the game. Can I blog longer than she can read? (I doubt it. The girl has endurance.) Will I run out of things to say before my eyes wear out and start to glaze over (Already starting to glaze.) Will my legs catch fire from the heat of the stupid laptop before I reach the end of this post? (Possibly not, but I am seriously sweating.) Will my congested nose send me to the extreme of using the stupid netti pot BEFORE I finish all of my posting possibly causing a short when I lean in too close to the computer screen forcing the salt water to come pouring out of my nose? (Pretty good chance. Hard to tell though.)
I still have a little more fight in me. Onward to the next post.
Don't you watch animal planet??
Tonight is the night I decided to get caught up on ye olde blog site. As I have been writing I have also been watching. This evenings entertainment was Chuck. A fairly stupid comedy that I find highly amusing. At any rate, at one point a new manager of a store is having trouble keeping the troops in line. He is asked, "Don't you watch animal planet? Find the wounded gazelle and pounce." Made me think of teaching.
Some days, I love my job. They keep me young. I have a good time. I couldn't imagine a better job. And as a reader of Mrs. G's blog, I say to all of you that allow me to teach your children. Thanks. They make me laugh.
Other days, I wish you would keep the little beasts home. So, here are five reasons why the children gave me wrinkles today as I cursed them and wished them home with their parents where they could torture the ones who made them rather than me.
5. "Sally, please take this list and start calling the parents immediately reading this little speech I've written up for you to read." An hour later when the next class starts I go to the pad where I instructed Sally to write the names of each parent she calls, their number and what happened. Any guesses as to how many people she called? . . . that's right one hour, one call.
4. "Becky, I need you to continue calling parents from where Sally left off." Walk by her five minutes later, "Becky, I meant now." "Yes, ma'am," she says. Twenty minutes later I walk by and she is checking off sheets that kids have been turning in. "Sally, why aren't you calling?" "Well, I thought I should check off the sheets." "Why Sally? When I very clearly told you what I needed you to do? Did it even occur to you to discuss that you felt you should do something other than what I specifically asked?" No response, deer in headlights look only. Sigh.
3. "June, I need you to take this list to Mrs. K and leave it with her to check to see if she knows any of these kids." "May I take it on my way to 2nd period?" "Absolutely, no problem." I amble by Mrs. K's desk an hour and a half later . . . No list, no where. Why me, Lord?
2. Student walks into my office holding a very nice digital rebel camera. "Hi Perkins, I found this camera by a chair, do you want it?" Only if I get to shove it up the nose of the little twirp who couldn't be bothered to hang on to it for more than 15 minutes.
1. I could give more, but the number one reason why they were killing me is because this all happened before THIRD period . . . before 10 am. It is a miracle I don't keep a flask in my desk.
Maybe tomorrow I'll have five reasons why the little buggers charm me. Not today, my friends, not today.
Some days, I love my job. They keep me young. I have a good time. I couldn't imagine a better job. And as a reader of Mrs. G's blog, I say to all of you that allow me to teach your children. Thanks. They make me laugh.
Other days, I wish you would keep the little beasts home. So, here are five reasons why the children gave me wrinkles today as I cursed them and wished them home with their parents where they could torture the ones who made them rather than me.
5. "Sally, please take this list and start calling the parents immediately reading this little speech I've written up for you to read." An hour later when the next class starts I go to the pad where I instructed Sally to write the names of each parent she calls, their number and what happened. Any guesses as to how many people she called? . . . that's right one hour, one call.
4. "Becky, I need you to continue calling parents from where Sally left off." Walk by her five minutes later, "Becky, I meant now." "Yes, ma'am," she says. Twenty minutes later I walk by and she is checking off sheets that kids have been turning in. "Sally, why aren't you calling?" "Well, I thought I should check off the sheets." "Why Sally? When I very clearly told you what I needed you to do? Did it even occur to you to discuss that you felt you should do something other than what I specifically asked?" No response, deer in headlights look only. Sigh.
3. "June, I need you to take this list to Mrs. K and leave it with her to check to see if she knows any of these kids." "May I take it on my way to 2nd period?" "Absolutely, no problem." I amble by Mrs. K's desk an hour and a half later . . . No list, no where. Why me, Lord?
2. Student walks into my office holding a very nice digital rebel camera. "Hi Perkins, I found this camera by a chair, do you want it?" Only if I get to shove it up the nose of the little twirp who couldn't be bothered to hang on to it for more than 15 minutes.
1. I could give more, but the number one reason why they were killing me is because this all happened before THIRD period . . . before 10 am. It is a miracle I don't keep a flask in my desk.
Maybe tomorrow I'll have five reasons why the little buggers charm me. Not today, my friends, not today.
The netti pot
Exhibit A: 
Many people extol the virtues of the netti pot, perhaps you have used it yourself. I can only say that I have no such love affair.
In fact, I feel a little like Olivia the netti pot virgin. Only I don't feel like it is coming out of my eyes, I know it comes out my nose, sometimes hours later, when I forget that there is a subterranean lake of salt water in my head and bend over to pick something up. "Oh," I say, "please excuse the salt water POURING OUT OF MY FREAKING NOSE." How can I possibly have that much salt water left in my nose without sloshing when I walk??
As I write, I am thinking to myself. I am getting congested. Would I rather snort the nose stuff that will dry my nose out possibly causing nose bleeds when my addiction becomes too much for the thin membrane in my snoz or would I rather snort a cup of salt water and have it pour out of me hours later. Not an easy choice I say.
AND whenever I discuss congestion, sinus headache, antehistemines, decongestants or anything else some sorry bastard is always suggesting the stupid netti pot. . . And the worst part, I'll use it again and again always thinking THIS time it won't be a problem, I'll blow my nose until all the water is out. Oh, the foolish naivete of thedesperate young
Many people extol the virtues of the netti pot, perhaps you have used it yourself. I can only say that I have no such love affair.
In fact, I feel a little like Olivia the netti pot virgin. Only I don't feel like it is coming out of my eyes, I know it comes out my nose, sometimes hours later, when I forget that there is a subterranean lake of salt water in my head and bend over to pick something up. "Oh," I say, "please excuse the salt water POURING OUT OF MY FREAKING NOSE." How can I possibly have that much salt water left in my nose without sloshing when I walk??
As I write, I am thinking to myself. I am getting congested. Would I rather snort the nose stuff that will dry my nose out possibly causing nose bleeds when my addiction becomes too much for the thin membrane in my snoz or would I rather snort a cup of salt water and have it pour out of me hours later. Not an easy choice I say.
AND whenever I discuss congestion, sinus headache, antehistemines, decongestants or anything else some sorry bastard is always suggesting the stupid netti pot. . . And the worst part, I'll use it again and again always thinking THIS time it won't be a problem, I'll blow my nose until all the water is out. Oh, the foolish naivete of the
Working hard on the home front
First, let me say, that I am the only one working hard on the home front. The dogs continue to act like prisoners, as they bark out "help us we are trapped like rats."
That is when they are not lolling about sleeping.
I, on the other hand, have been working hard. For instance, Dad brought a huge trash can and four buckets of Bull kaka. Now, I ask you could a father love a daughter more than to go harvest the bull kaka to be used in her garden? I say No. That is a testament of love. 
I have pulled all of the grass from the garden, pulled the two very unweldy bush roots from the garden. I have tilled the soil, and I am ready for any and all plant donations. . . But I must confess I have had some fun . . .
For instance, Randy and Diana had a mojito party one Sunday. It was lots of fun. In fact it was probably two drinks more fun than I should have had. Party ended at 5, but it took a little while for sobriety to win out on the mojitos. So R & D and I hung out and danced. We had a great time. I think we all agreed the after party was more fun than the original party : )
Less fun, but still the makings of an interesting day is the Friday I took off to take my friend R to have a quick hospital visit. 
Sadly, although the procedure only took half a day, I ended up with a massive headache and took a nap until it was time to work the football game. . . ok, so that wasn't all that much fun, but I had a picture so I had to include it some how. And so ends this little tale . . .
That is when they are not lolling about sleeping.
I, on the other hand, have been working hard. For instance, Dad brought a huge trash can and four buckets of Bull kaka. Now, I ask you could a father love a daughter more than to go harvest the bull kaka to be used in her garden? I say No. That is a testament of love. 
I have pulled all of the grass from the garden, pulled the two very unweldy bush roots from the garden. I have tilled the soil, and I am ready for any and all plant donations. . . But I must confess I have had some fun . . .For instance, Randy and Diana had a mojito party one Sunday. It was lots of fun. In fact it was probably two drinks more fun than I should have had. Party ended at 5, but it took a little while for sobriety to win out on the mojitos. So R & D and I hung out and danced. We had a great time. I think we all agreed the after party was more fun than the original party : )
Less fun, but still the makings of an interesting day is the Friday I took off to take my friend R to have a quick hospital visit. 
Sadly, although the procedure only took half a day, I ended up with a massive headache and took a nap until it was time to work the football game. . . ok, so that wasn't all that much fun, but I had a picture so I had to include it some how. And so ends this little tale . . .
Thursday Night at the Arboretum
A couple of weeks ago I went over to check on Jim, Pam's widower. He's still pretty sad, but all in all I think he is doing well. I think he likes the idea that I was Pam's student and so close to her. It makes him feel closer to her.
At any rate, I invited myself to a party with Jim and his son, Tom, a senior in high school. I know it was wrong, but it was at a really cool warehouse that they turned into a house. Thursday we went to the Arboretum for the concert in the park. It was really cool. I'd never been before.
It was a long walk through the park to get to the outdoor theater. We passed a flower shaped like a pumpkin
and then a house made of pumpkins. 
I can't remember the name of the band but they sounded a lot like Stevie Ray Vaughn. The problem is that it sounded like they played the same song over and over. 
But it was still a lot of fun. We left before the band finished playing because I had to work in the morning. Right behind us sat a group with a seeing eye dog in training. Very cute dog. Do we know anything about training seeing eye dogs? Are there a list of things that dogs must learn how to do? How long are they trained before they are sent to live with their blind person? I may have to research this. These questions plague me. 
I had to take a picture of the lake from where we sat. It was really pretty. At one point a bunch of people brought their sail boats and canoes and listened from the lake. How pretty is that?!
At any rate, I invited myself to a party with Jim and his son, Tom, a senior in high school. I know it was wrong, but it was at a really cool warehouse that they turned into a house. Thursday we went to the Arboretum for the concert in the park. It was really cool. I'd never been before.
It was a long walk through the park to get to the outdoor theater. We passed a flower shaped like a pumpkin
and then a house made of pumpkins. 
I can't remember the name of the band but they sounded a lot like Stevie Ray Vaughn. The problem is that it sounded like they played the same song over and over. 
But it was still a lot of fun. We left before the band finished playing because I had to work in the morning. Right behind us sat a group with a seeing eye dog in training. Very cute dog. Do we know anything about training seeing eye dogs? Are there a list of things that dogs must learn how to do? How long are they trained before they are sent to live with their blind person? I may have to research this. These questions plague me. 
I had to take a picture of the lake from where we sat. It was really pretty. At one point a bunch of people brought their sail boats and canoes and listened from the lake. How pretty is that?!
Hard to keep up with such an exciting life
A few weekends ago the Plano Hot Air Balloon Festival occurred. It's been ages since I got to fly. I had forgotten how much fun it is to fly. I joined Randy's hot air balloon crew about 15 years ago. Back then he had a balloon called Sky Check. It was a great balloon, very pretty and very easy to distinguish from all of the other balloons. 
That balloon wore out, and it was time to get a new balloon. We call it the Peacock. It looks a lot like the channel 5 NBC peacock. . . but it also looks like a gazillion other balloons. It's a total pain in the ass on the eyes to decipher which is our balloon. 
I flew with Randy on the morning of a competition, so we took off from the P.E.S.H. parking lot with a whole lotta other balloons. It was beautiful. 
As we took off, we waved to the poor souls left on the ground. Admittedly, I have an urge to spit on them, but that is three years of teaching middle school still wrecking havoc with my abilities to behave like a grown-up speaking. My bad.
There were lots of fun balloons flying, but my favorites were the dragon . . . grrrr 
and the flower. It took off, landed, deflated? then reinflated and took off again. Very cool. 
It is amazing how small everything looks from the air. Admittedly the pink jeep actually was a mini vehicle. Some kid left it out overnight, so when we flew over at about 7:30am, there it sat in the circle with a couple of real cars. 
Do you remember the old Twilight Zones? There was one where the camera starts on a man who is running around a town when he finally realizes the town and houses are all part of a "dollhouse" town playset for a kid who is 80 times the size of the original guy . . . .There are lots of neighborhoods in Plano that alllll have manicured lawns, fences, perfect yards and pretty pools. My picture fails to do justice to the Twilight Zone atmosphere of the town as we sailed over. 
That balloon wore out, and it was time to get a new balloon. We call it the Peacock. It looks a lot like the channel 5 NBC peacock. . . but it also looks like a gazillion other balloons. It's a total pain
I flew with Randy on the morning of a competition, so we took off from the P.E.S.H. parking lot with a whole lotta other balloons. It was beautiful. 
As we took off, we waved to the poor souls left on the ground. Admittedly, I have an urge to spit on them, but that is three years of teaching middle school still wrecking havoc with my abilities to behave like a grown-up speaking. My bad.
There were lots of fun balloons flying, but my favorites were the dragon . . . grrrr 
and the flower. It took off, landed, deflated? then reinflated and took off again. Very cool. 
It is amazing how small everything looks from the air. Admittedly the pink jeep actually was a mini vehicle. Some kid left it out overnight, so when we flew over at about 7:30am, there it sat in the circle with a couple of real cars. 
Do you remember the old Twilight Zones? There was one where the camera starts on a man who is running around a town when he finally realizes the town and houses are all part of a "dollhouse" town playset for a kid who is 80 times the size of the original guy . . . .There are lots of neighborhoods in Plano that alllll have manicured lawns, fences, perfect yards and pretty pools. My picture fails to do justice to the Twilight Zone atmosphere of the town as we sailed over. 
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